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sirenangelbby

sirenangelbby

Member
Apr 4, 2023
14
after my last post i decided that i'd give life another try again. i got into another relationship and i thought i was finally going to be happy this time just for them to abandon me over something small. they came back and apologized and offered to be friends to which i agreed if they'd take me somewhere (it's free and it'd be my car and my gas money). they agreed and then asked if i would take them somewhere as well. i said yes and drove a total of 4 hours to and from my house just to take them there. this was about a week ago and yesterday they got mad at me for something small and blocked me which means our plans are off. i bought so many things and was so excited for that day just for it to be taken away from me for something small i did. (it was an emoji i sent that they were mad at me for). this was the only thing i was looking forward to and the only thing keeping me alive. it was the last amount of hope i had left. and after forgiving them and driving 4 hours for them spending a lot of money in gas when i don't even make much, they're not going with me anymore because of something stupid i said. i can't go without them because they were the only one who can get me in there for free. i didn't even get a chance to explain because i was blocked immediately. i have bpd and spiraled and called them a lot to which they called the police on me. i ruin every single relationship and friendship with my insane behavior and i'm done with myself. i don't deserve to be alive anymore and i also don't want to be. my entire life has just been painful experience after painful experience and no matter how hard i try everything goes to shit. next time i'm home alone i'm doing it.
 
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SVEN

SVEN

I Wish I'd Been a Jester Too.
Apr 3, 2023
2,813
Sometimes life just sucks and it's like we've ended up here without being told how it all works to just be misfits amongst the other folk who seem to know how to live it properly.
Sorry about your misery.
 
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WAITING TO DIE

WAITING TO DIE

TORMENTED
Sep 30, 2023
1,536
I'm the same: I always seem to do thing's that piss people off, even though I have absolutely no intention of doing so.
Mental illness just fucks everything up, and makes other people think you are an ass, when in reality you are not.
So sorry you are going through this.
 
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