sirenangelbby
Member
- Apr 4, 2023
- 14
after my last post i decided that i'd give life another try again. i got into another relationship and i thought i was finally going to be happy this time just for them to abandon me over something small. they came back and apologized and offered to be friends to which i agreed if they'd take me somewhere (it's free and it'd be my car and my gas money). they agreed and then asked if i would take them somewhere as well. i said yes and drove a total of 4 hours to and from my house just to take them there. this was about a week ago and yesterday they got mad at me for something small and blocked me which means our plans are off. i bought so many things and was so excited for that day just for it to be taken away from me for something small i did. (it was an emoji i sent that they were mad at me for). this was the only thing i was looking forward to and the only thing keeping me alive. it was the last amount of hope i had left. and after forgiving them and driving 4 hours for them spending a lot of money in gas when i don't even make much, they're not going with me anymore because of something stupid i said. i can't go without them because they were the only one who can get me in there for free. i didn't even get a chance to explain because i was blocked immediately. i have bpd and spiraled and called them a lot to which they called the police on me. i ruin every single relationship and friendship with my insane behavior and i'm done with myself. i don't deserve to be alive anymore and i also don't want to be. my entire life has just been painful experience after painful experience and no matter how hard i try everything goes to shit. next time i'm home alone i'm doing it.
