Beautifulletdown
Brightburn
- Jul 6, 2019
- 231
I wasn't sure whether to put this under venting or story so went with the latter. When I came across this site it seem different from other forums and not in the sense of its purpose but the people. Before I signed up, of course, I was a guess so it afforded me the chance to gauge how people were towards each other. It seemed like people were, for the most part, supportive and open. Perhaps I was expecting too much or hoping it would be different from how things are in my real life. My hope was to feel less alone, as silly as that sounds, and to be seen for once instead of overlooked and passed over as I always am it seems. I could blame it on my nature of being quiet, kind and caring which is not interesting or worthy of attention by others. Unfortunately, I'm neither flamboyant or loud. I suppose that stems from a childhood where I had to be quiet and not seen out of fear. I guess what I've come to realize I simply want to be loved, which will never happen, for everything I am and everything that I'm not. I wrestle with how stupid it is to feel this way at all. How useless it is to want what you can never have. In the end what it boils down to is this is much of the same as what I experience in real life. Although I should have realized it. I'm sure there will be some out there who will think this post is silly or useless or why should it matter because I want to kill myself anyway. I wanted the chance to be heard and let out all things I can't say to anyone in my life because they could care less. If you've gotten this far, thanks for taking the time to read this.
