Venting I think the Universe wants me to die

[drownll]

Since I decided i'm not fit for this world anymore, i'm getting shit on by life repeatedly even though i'm fucking rock bottom. Couple days ago my phone charger broke, it left me with no phone. Today i went to buy a new one and i received a 100€ fine because i didn't bought a ticket, usually i always buy one, and during the years i had a subscription, i almost never saw the inspectors, but today i literally had no money for a ticket and they were there.
At 23 yo i'm ashamed of myself, i don't even have 1€, i have to rely on my poor mom.
And I know there are people in worse situations than me, some people are homeless with absolutely no one, but i feel like i'm gonna get there eventually if it continues like that. It feels like the longer i'm alive the shittier my life gets, like some cosmic force wants me to ctb, trying to send me a message "you became aware of the illusion of life so now it's better for you to die, it is not worth for you to live anymore". I'm different from "normal" people, I don't participate in society and i have no intent to do so, i don't plan on getting married and having kids, so i have no business here.
Do you feel like that too?

 

[D1byRam3n]

Yeah, i do...but my only way to Preventing myself from dying is just watching anime only to feel a bit better its so silly, isn't it?

 

[FuneralCry]

I'm also not meant to suffer in this hellish reality, I'd prefer to cease existing to escape from the cruelty and futility of existence, it's so horrible how there's no limit as to how unbearable existing can get.

 

[WAITING TO DIE]

Yeah, everything has gone wrong for no logical reason and just keeps getting worse.
It's as though I've been cursed or something.
I don't participate in society too.
The " normal " people seem very weird to me, as though they're from a different planet.

 

[savoytruffle]

i am in the EXACT same boat wow. it's like I wrote your post, that's how exactly like yours my situation is and im so sorry you're suffering like this too.