Having spent a week in an acute ward I gained nothing and i was told therapy and care was provided In the community.
The night after i was released with no meds even the prescribed diazepam i entered with I was visited by the crisis team who I told i was suicidal
They haven't removed anything to prevent me from attempting again and they left me alone to attempt again.and haven't returned or emailed me, nothing.
20 minutes before i entered the ward I got a non fault eviction notice after this being my home and place of safety for 16 years
As if my life couldn't get bad enough in that moment hey!
So because of an unsafe release and mainly no meds, I've been using cocaine and cider, in order to function or attempt to.
The only thing I've gained for going to the ward was that it's more like a prison than a hospital, and I had to stand by and watch someone getting repeatedly stabbed with a fork.
The system in the uk is beyond broken and it's just confirmed my beliefs that id be better off feeling nothing than another 20 /30 years of fighting for help that doesnt exist.
Weeded and but some fresh bark on the garden Today, finished shampooing the carpets. My dad is my guarantor on the house or I'd probably be taking my chainsaw to the walls with how angry I feel
I need to wipe everywhere down. From the soot a warning to those considering co, it gets everywhere!, let it cool down a bit and see how I feel.
I've repaired the burn hole in the bottom of the tent with the limited tools I have. I lay In there for 20 minutes this morning just to prepare myself mentally for it. But not feeling panic again atm.
I think Im tired of fighting at this point
My home is virtually empty i gave most things away, someone is supposed to collecting the exercise bike today and that's the moment i have to see how im feeling im my mind and im my heart.
But it likely ill try.
Im so bored of existing, a system that takes medications away from me like pregablin and diazepam that help me function but know ill turn to alcohol and illicit substances without an alternative is just backwards.
The night after i was released with no meds even the prescribed diazepam i entered with I was visited by the crisis team who I told i was suicidal
They haven't removed anything to prevent me from attempting again and they left me alone to attempt again.and haven't returned or emailed me, nothing.
20 minutes before i entered the ward I got a non fault eviction notice after this being my home and place of safety for 16 years
As if my life couldn't get bad enough in that moment hey!
So because of an unsafe release and mainly no meds, I've been using cocaine and cider, in order to function or attempt to.
The only thing I've gained for going to the ward was that it's more like a prison than a hospital, and I had to stand by and watch someone getting repeatedly stabbed with a fork.
The system in the uk is beyond broken and it's just confirmed my beliefs that id be better off feeling nothing than another 20 /30 years of fighting for help that doesnt exist.
Weeded and but some fresh bark on the garden Today, finished shampooing the carpets. My dad is my guarantor on the house or I'd probably be taking my chainsaw to the walls with how angry I feel
I need to wipe everywhere down. From the soot a warning to those considering co, it gets everywhere!, let it cool down a bit and see how I feel.
I've repaired the burn hole in the bottom of the tent with the limited tools I have. I lay In there for 20 minutes this morning just to prepare myself mentally for it. But not feeling panic again atm.
I think Im tired of fighting at this point
My home is virtually empty i gave most things away, someone is supposed to collecting the exercise bike today and that's the moment i have to see how im feeling im my mind and im my heart.
But it likely ill try.
Im so bored of existing, a system that takes medications away from me like pregablin and diazepam that help me function but know ill turn to alcohol and illicit substances without an alternative is just backwards.
