I think I'll give it a shot tonight.

[Unseelie]

Im gonna give running a generator in my car a shot tonight. Get myself comfortable somehow. As comfortable as I can be. I know that there is no next life. I know what I am giving up. I know i could make things better if I really tried. That i could connect with this world.

But I can't. I dont want to try. I dont want a job. I dont wanna pay rent. Im tired of being an adult. Im tired of being a person. I see the appeal of living. But the bad outweighs the good. I wish somebody was here in my room. Telling me not to give up. That I'll make it. But they're not. They're not here. Even now I fantasize about somebody saving me. Telling me I'll be okay. Talking me out of it. But only i can save me. And I'm not strong enough to do it. I'm not gonna leave a note to anybody. They'll all understand. This was inevitable. I wish somebody could save me. Say something kind to me. Anything kind.

 

[WrathfulGloom32]

I'm sorry, I would tell you that it's okay but I'm in the same situation, it would be hypocritical of me to do so; I don't believe in this world nor it's people.
Whatever you do whether you choose to give it a shot or not I hope you will be able to be at peace.

 

[Ambien addict]

Im gonna give running a generator in my car a shot tonight. Get myself comfortable somehow. As comfortable as I can be. I know that there is no next life. I know what I am giving up. I know i could make things better if I really tried. That i could connect with this world.

But I can't. I dont want to try. I dont want a job. I dont wanna pay rent. Im tired of being an adult. Im tired of being a person. I see the appeal of living. But the bad outweighs the good. I wish somebody was here in my room. Telling me not to give up. That I'll make it. But they're not. They're not here. Even now I fantasize about somebody saving me. Telling me I'll be okay. Talking me out of it. But only i can save me. And I'm not strong enough to do it. I'm not gonna leave a note to anybody. They'll all understand. This was inevitable. I wish somebody could save me. Say something kind to me. Anything kind.

Let us know how it goes, if you can....I am also trying to figure out the portable generator way...not sure how it works

 

[darksouls]

I am very sorry that you are feeling so bad
however you decide
I wish you the best
hope you find relief from suffering

 

[Unseelie]

Let us know how it goes, if you can....I am also trying to figure out the portable generator way...not sure how it works

I ended up not going through with it, apologies for that. I guess im just to much of a fucking coward.

 

[Eriktf]

I ended up not going through with it, apologies for that. I guess im just to much of a fucking coward.

do not apologize for not ctb, its your choice if you do it and when

 

[Unseelie]

do not apologize for not ctb, its your choice if you do it and when

I suppose that's true. I think im also apologizing to myself I guess. It all really hurts.

 

[Eriktf]

I suppose that's true. I think im also apologizing to myself I guess. It all really hurts.

no need to rush it, ctb whenever you want