I think I was supposed to die

[toxicjester]

For all my life I've lived with this weird "brain thing" (maybe just straight up delusions) where I think I'm not in the right timeline. When I was small I had a dream where I was in a long corridor and saw my family in one room, and across the hallway in the other room there was my family also. I ultimately chose one of the rooms, and since then just feel like I chose the wrong room.

A couple of weeks ago however, on election night, I drank way more than I ever have. I was in the car and was also smoking and everything felt wrong but also like nothing. Everything felt blurry and still. It felt surreal I guess. I had one more drink I was going to have before the night ended but I was so intoxicated that in the smallest moment of clarity I dumped it.

I don't even know how I managed to get out of the car, climb the stairs, and showered before getting in bed that night. I just know I woke up the next morning to some dogshit news that in the back of my mind I already knew.

Later on I talked to my sibling and they talked about how alcohol related deaths skyrocketed that night and then I got that feeling again, where I was in the wrong timeline. I should have died that night in my car.

Ever since then I've felt on edge constantly, I keep feeling like I'm in a doomed timeline, like any day I'm going to drop dead because I'm not supposed to be here. I have a vague plan to ctb but I can't set anything in motion and I'm still hesitant to.

I don't know why I talked about this. I just feel like I can't talk about this to anyone else.

 

[Willy Wonka]

For all my life I've lived with this weird "brain thing" (maybe just straight up delusions) where I think I'm not in the right timeline. When I was small I had a dream where I was in a long corridor and saw my family in one room, and across the hallway in the other room there was my family also. I ultimately chose one of the rooms, and since then just feel like I chose the wrong room.

A couple of weeks ago however, on election night, I drank way more than I ever have. I was in the car and was also smoking and everything felt wrong but also like nothing. Everything felt blurry and still. It felt surreal I guess. I had one more drink I was going to have before the night ended but I was so intoxicated that in the smallest moment of clarity I dumped it.

I don't even know how I managed to get out of the car, climb the stairs, and showered before getting in bed that night. I just know I woke up the next morning to some dogshit news that in the back of my mind I already knew.

Later on I talked to my sibling and they talked about how alcohol related deaths skyrocketed that night and then I got that feeling again, where I was in the wrong timeline. I should have died that night in my car.

Ever since then I've felt on edge constantly, I keep feeling like I'm in a doomed timeline, like any day I'm going to drop dead because I'm not supposed to be here. I have a vague plan to ctb but I can't set anything in motion and I'm still hesitant to.

I don't know why I talked about this. I just feel like I can't talk about this to anyone else.

This right here is for sure the only place where you can express yourself freely without being judged. Thanks for sharing, unfortunately I have nothing useful to say ...

 

[toxicjester]

This right here is for sure the only place where you can express yourself freely without being judged. Thanks for sharing, unfortunately I have nothing useful to say ...

Is no worries! Even something like this is nice, sometimes I post rambles and don't really get anything. I guess I don't know what I look for when I post this kinda thing, just want company I guess lol

 

[Willy Wonka]

Is no worries! Even something like this is nice, sometimes I post rambles and don't really get anything. I guess I don't know what I look for when I post this kinda thing, just want company I guess lol

Fair enough, I can relate. I rarely even find the words to express myself hence me commenting that I got nothing to say but I still appreciate the post...

 

[EternalSkies]

Maybe Quantum Immortality. Im from the timeline where Nelson Mandela died in prison in the 80's. Don't know how or why I ended up here
Look up DimensionalJumping on reddit maybe?

In this timeline I had been friend with my best friend during childhood two years earlier than the timeline I grew up in. It is so weird

 

[toxicjester]

Maybe Quantum Immortality. Im from the timeline where Nelson Mandela died in prison in the 80's. Don't know how or why I ended up here
Look up DimensionalJumping on reddit maybe?

In this timeline I had been friend with my best friend during childhood two years earlier than the timeline I grew up in. It is so weird

I didn't realize this feeling was more relatable than I thought. Is there anything specific keying you in to this maybe? I know you said you don't know how or why, but do you have even like vague memories or feelings or anything?

 

[EternalSkies]

I think it mostly has to do with that some souls that are ready to awaken to the greater reality experienced a shift in timelines. Just enough to make it clear that there is a bigger picture; a greater reality. So those who seek spiritual growth are bound to experience bigger parts of the greater reality and understanding of all that is, when the time is right.

In this case Nelson Mandela died again in 2013(but in my original reality I was taught in school he died in prison; in the 80's) which caused me and others to question reality or how it actually works.

I think the truth is we are simply consciousness parttaking in a fluid reality. Nothing is truly fixed although it seems like it may be. Nelson Mandela also relates to the concept of Mandala patterns. Because it has significance. It explains how reality is fluid. Mandala patterns changes their bigger pattern/image when the vibration/frequency of the constituents(eg. grains of sand) is changed. At one point the mandela pattern makes a total switch to a new image/pattern because the frequency that holds the pattern together changed enough to change the outlook. It relates to how reality in the same way can theoretically change when the vibration of the perceiver changes. That is to say our/your/my consciousness changes and raises to a certian point then reality would look different. Google Cymatic Patterns to understand the significance of Mandala patterns

A year before I switched timeline. I had been very open and curious about spiritual growht. I meditated an hour a day for some weeks. Focused on love and tried to deepen my consciousness. I experienced things most people don't believe in like out of body experiences and much more. I believe this curiosity and readiness for spiritual growth raised my consciousness to the point where I switched timeline to further advance my spiritual growth and to awaken me more. Cause I was ready for it and curious. I had a basic understanding of it at the least before it occurred

I also believe these shifts can be intentional although as humans we barely know how to operate it as we are bathed in social media that makes us observers rather than creators. We don't actively use our minds as a being who is in control. But rather use to to receive information as someone who is just passive. A shift in timelines could possibly also occur because the consciousness experiences death and the natural path is a reality where choices that didn't lead to the death was made. This being called Quantum Immortality or Quantum Suicide

Another example of Quantum Suicide I have experienced. Is after I attempted in 2020. I didn't die as far as I am aware. But after I moved back home. A place where I was certain ther wasn't a path over a hill with trees now suddenly had a path there. And in this reality in 2024 the path had always been there for at least 10 years. But I distinctly remember walking there a few years earlier and there being no path there. So I had to walk around it to get back home (in the reality I was in before my attempt in 2020). I think this "new path" is symbolic for entering a timeline where there was still a path for me; and I didn't die in my suicide attempt in 2020. It seemed like a better reality. Because that physical path made it easier to get back home. It was symbolic for a reality where my choices were made slightly different so I still had a path forward in life, I believe

 

[toxicjester]

I think it mostly has to do with that some souls that are ready to awaken to the greater reality experienced a shift in timelines. Just enough to make it clear that there is a bigger picture; a greater reality. So those who seek spiritual growth are bound to experience bigger parts of the greater reality and understanding of all that is, when the time is right.

In this case Nelson Mandela died again in 2013(but in my original reality I was taught in school he died in prison; in the 80's) which caused me and others to question reality or how it actually works.

I think the truth is we are simply consciousness parttaking in a fluid reality. Nothing is truly fixed although it seems like it may be. Nelson Mandela also relates to the concept of Mandala patterns. Because it has significance. It explains how reality is fluid. Mandala patterns changes their bigger pattern/image when the vibration/frequency of the constituents(eg. grains of sand) is changed. At one point the mandela pattern makes a total switch to a new image/pattern because the frequency that holds the pattern together changed enough to change the outlook. It relates to how reality in the same way can theoretically change when the vibration of the perceiver changes. That is to say our/your/my consciousness changes and raises to a certian point then reality would look different. Google Cymatic Patterns to understand the significance of Mandala patterns

A year before I switched timeline. I had been very open and curious about spiritual growht. I meditated an hour a day for some weeks. Focused on love and tried to deepen my consciousness. I experienced things most people don't believe in like out of body experiences and much more. I believe this curiosity and readiness for spiritual growth raised my consciousness to the point where I switched timeline to further advance my spiritual growth and to awaken me more. Cause I was ready for it and curious. I had a basic understanding of it at the least before it occurred

I also believe these shifts can be intentional although as humans we barely know how to operate it as we are bathed in social media that makes us observers rather than creators. We don't actively use our minds as a being who is in control. But rather use to to receive information as someone who is just passive. A shift in timelines could possibly also occur because the consciousness experiences death and the natural path is a reality where choices that didn't lead to the death was made. This being called Quantum Immortality or Quantum Suicide

Another example of Quantum Suicide I have experienced. Is after I attempted in 2020. I didn't die as far as I am aware. But after I moved back home. A place where I was certain ther wasn't a path over a hill with trees now suddenly had a path there. And in this reality in 2024 the path had always been there for at least 10 years. But I distinctly remember walking there a few years earlier and there being no path there. So I had to walk around it to get back home (in the reality I was in before my attempt in 2020). I think this "new path" is symbolic for entering a timeline where there was still a path for me; and I didn't die in my suicide attempt in 2020. It seemed like a better reality. Because that physical path made it easier to get back home. It was symbolic for a reality where my choices were made slightly different so I still had a path forward in life, I believe

I think that's really beautiful in a way, the path being there in a new reality to show you you still have a path.

I think I'm afraid to look into this stuff further cause part of me still feels like it's "brain stuff". And I feel like I've never done intentional "shifts" or anything, they're just feelings and at best accidents. Not to mention you see mfers on tiktok shitting on this kind of thing.

I like to imagine other scenarios in my life where maybe things turned out different but like everyone does that I feel?

I don't know what I'm trying to get at. I think everything is really interesting and fits into my brain a good bit, more than I want to admit, but I think I'm way low energy atm to do anything spiritual or significant

 

[EternalSkies]

At its core I believe the universe and the greater reality is ever-loving. I believe it will always catch you in the end
And if it doesn't then nothing makes sense. Then you yourself can be that love for others and yourself. In a way that makes the universe
ever-loving cause you're now the one being ever-loving for yourself and potentially others

Whenever you're ready to grow spiritually or otherwise. The universe will be there for you presenting you the opportunity. It speaks through
different mediums at the right time. Follow your own heart and what excites you. You're always enough. Even trees shed their leafs in winter
to make it till spring and become their "best versions" of themselves; if you can even say that because they were always themselves at their core

To experience choices that take you on a path you don't resonate with you in life. You learn about yourself and who you are.
If you made all the "right choices", in other words, the choices you would have liked to make. You may never have known as deeply what you are not, and thus not either as deeply know: what and who you actually are

 

[depthss]

i can relate. ive had a pretty similar thing happen to me. though, it was a little while ago now. not so much to do with an alternative timeline in my case though.

 

[toxicjester]

i can relate. ive had a pretty similar thing happen to me. though, it was a little while ago now. not so much to do with an alternative timeline in my case though.

Yea I don't expect the timeline thing to be as relatable lol, it just adds a whole layer of complexity to my already overwhelming emotions n stuff
I hope your situation is doing better, I'm sorry you could relate at all