Venting I think I am actually traumatized by psych wards

[HopefulSleep]

I was put into psych wards mutliple times and they changed my way of thinking, I am so extremely scared to have to go there again.
It hurts much when I am stuck in a room with nothing else than my thoughts that hurt anyway.
I don't know if that counts as traumatizing cause it is not as bad as other things that have happened to me but it made me life worse, this is another reason why I want to kill myself, I just get a panic attack when I think about psych wards to long and if I am dead I will never have to go there again.

 

[ArchmagePrincess]

Psych wards can be very damaging and traumatic. You're at an incredibly low point in your life and you have dignity and freedom stripped from you without consent. Their methods of helping people without medication are infantilizing and unhelpful for many, and with medication can be risky because they can force you to take anything they deem fit. Even eating in a strange or inconsistent manner can get you diagnosed with an eating disorder and kept for longer, as nurses constantly observe your every move and take often unsympathetic notes about your struggles.

I'd say it definitely counts as traumatizing, and I'm also terrified at the thought of ever being forced into such a place again. Trauma isn't a comparison contest of what's "bad enough" to count, it's about how it personally affects you. Even if it was a contest, I'd sure as hell count psych wards as awful enough to constitute trauma.

I feel similarly, the thought of being dead and succeeding at CTBing gives me a sense of peace that I'll never have to be forced into one, and failing an attempt and being sent to one again is a fear that keeps me on this planet. I hated my time in the psych ward and it made me feel far worse and alone.

I'm sorry to hear your experiences at the ward was so awful, it is for many people, and I hope you never have to experience being at one again.

 

[pharmacoepia]

As somebody who has both talked to staff and patients of a psych-ward, it's very hit or miss. Your experience depends on how much the owner (if private) and government (if public) actually cares and gives a budget to the staff. If the staff are under-payed, ofc they won't put as much effort.

Being a staff member in a psych-ward is purely out of the kindness of the staff members heart, and if the nurses don't got a heart, then your fucked.

Sorry to hear about your experience. I hope we can get the incompetent farts out of their high position and reform the psych-wards.

 

[FuneralCry]

Psych wards certainly sound like horrific prisons that are best avoided, I think that going in there could only make people suffer more, I've read of people being treated very badly in those places, I find it to be inhumane how people are given a punishment simply for wanting to die, suicidal people deserve to have their wish to die respected instead.

 

[exploitedbacteria]

Absolutely, psychiatric wards in hospitals cause PTSD. I definitely have these issues after multiple hospitalizations for months at a time. I completely lost it a few years back when a psychiatrist ordered that I be transported to the local hospital. Luckily I had my father with me who said I would be okay and that he would take responsibility for me. The police were there ready to involuntarily admit me. Some really horrible stuff can happen in those hospitals.

 

[GreenTree]

I'm scared to go back in one that's why I'm hesitant on failing suicide.

 

[wiltingorchid]

I've been in a psych ward once, and I was pretty lucky that the people there were really nice. Which is usually not the case, most times the people in there are very unfriendly and treat you like shit. I'm so sorry that you had to make such bad experiences there.

 

[HopefulSleep]

Psych wards can be very damaging and traumatic. You're at an incredibly low point in your life and you have dignity and freedom stripped from you without consent. Their methods of helping people without medication are infantilizing and unhelpful for many, and with medication can be risky because they can force you to take anything they deem fit. Even eating in a strange or inconsistent manner can get you diagnosed with an eating disorder and kept for longer, as nurses constantly observe your every move and take often unsympathetic notes about your struggles.

I'd say it definitely counts as traumatizing, and I'm also terrified at the thought of ever being forced into such a place again. Trauma isn't a comparison contest of what's "bad enough" to count, it's about how it personally affects you. Even if it was a contest, I'd sure as hell count psych wards as awful enough to constitute trauma.

I feel similarly, the thought of being dead and succeeding at CTBing gives me a sense of peace that I'll never have to be forced into one, and failing an attempt and being sent to one again is a fear that keeps me on this planet. I hated my time in the psych ward and it made me feel far worse and alone.

I'm sorry to hear your experiences at the ward was so awful, it is for many people, and I hope you never have to experience being at one again.

What I hated their was how I had to think about how I got sexually assaulted, it made me feel weird but also physically aroused, I constantly masturbated to it there, it felt so awful, I just wanted to die, it hurts so much to think about that.
My mother calls me crazy that I end up like that if I can't use my pc but it is true I am just a disturbed living corpse, nothing more, I am only pain that others made for sexual and sadistic pleasure that lasted them a few minutes.

As somebody who has both talked to staff and patients of a psych-ward, it's very hit or miss. Your experience depends on how much the owner (if private) and government (if public) actually cares and gives a budget to the staff. If the staff are under-payed, ofc they won't put as much effort.

Being a staff member in a psych-ward is purely out of the kindness of the staff members heart, and if the nurses don't got a heart, then your fucked.

Sorry to hear about your experience. I hope we can get the incompetent farts out of their high position and reform the psych-wards.

It doesn't matter what methods they use, it is inhumane to force people to places where they feel uncomfortable.

Psych wards certainly sound like horrific prisons that are best avoided, I think that going in there could only make people suffer more, I've read of people being treated very badly in those places, I find it to be inhumane how people are given a punishment simply for wanting to die, suicidal people deserve to have their wish to die respected instead.

I have to spend time in a psych ward but everyone who did sexual things to me or bullied me until I got social anxiety disorder don't need to go there even though they need to be put away.

I've been in a psych ward once, and I was pretty lucky that the people there were really nice. Which is usually not the case, most times the people in there are very unfriendly and treat you like shit. I'm so sorry that you had to make such bad experiences there.

Even if they pretend to be friendly it is sick to lock a person up just because they tried to ctb cause of their pain.
And talking will never help cause I am autistic anyway, it just doesn't reach me if it makes sense.

 

[ArchmagePrincess]

What I hated their was how I had to think about how I got sexually assaulted, it made me feel weird but also physically aroused, I constantly masturbated to it there, it felt so awful, I just wanted to die, it hurts so much to think about that.
My mother calls me crazy that I end up like that if I can't use my pc but it is true I am just a disturbed living corpse, nothing more, I am only pain that others made for sexual and sadistic pleasure that lasted them a few minutes.

It doesn't matter what methods they use, it is inhumane to force people to places where they feel uncomfortable.

I have to spend time in a psych ward but everyone who did sexual things to me or bullied me until I got social anxiety disorder don't need to go there even though they need to be put away.

Even if they pretend to be friendly it is sick to lock a person up just because they tried to ctb cause of their pain.
And talking will never help cause I am autistic anyway, it just doesn't reach me if it makes sense.

Processing sexual trauma is very difficult and painful. I find myself struggling with the mix of discomfort and arousal as well. I've found that a lot of the "things I'm into" are clearly stemming from my experiences of being sexually abused. It's awful and there's a lot of shame and you're absolutely right that it's so cruel to force the victims of these things to be locked away against their will due to their response to the pain, while so many abusers roam free without penalty. I wish I had more to say than I'm sorry you're also a victim of this cruel world and that no one deserves to go through such a nightmare. I still remember being stuck in there while the father who abused me was visiting me during visitation hours and still berating me for being too fragile. He was free despite sending my mental health spiral down that way in the first place, it's a hollow feeling.

 

[Gone.]

I've been there twice in my life. The first time was actually okay, but the second time not so. I'd rather die than have to go back. When I ctb it's gonna be with either potassium cyanide or sodium cyanide, which is instant action and only takes a few grams. It's the fear of going back, not my will to die.

 

[HopefulSleep]

I've been there twice in my life. The first time was actually okay, but the second time not so. I'd rather die than have to go back. When I ctb it's gonna be with either potassium cyanide or sodium cyanide, which is instant action and only takes a few grams. It's the fear of going back, not my will to die.

It is so fucking immoral what they do with people who are trying to ctb.
I don't even understand why they do it, many reasons to ctb aren't fixable at the base, for example losing family members/friends or getting abused, they can't fucking revive dead people and they can't make people forget abuse.
In an humane world people who try to ctb would just be send home again if they feel uncomfortable, I can understand it that they try to "save" people cause many unintentionally do it and it isn't ctb then for some methods and many did it impulsively and are happy that they survived but then they probably want to die again after being in a psych ward.

 

[Gone.]

It is so fucking immoral what they do with people who are trying to ctb.
I don't even understand why they do it, many reasons to ctb aren't fixable at the base, for example losing family members/friends or getting abused, they can't fucking revive dead people and they can't make people forget abuse.
In an humane world people who try to ctb would just be send home again if they feel uncomfortable, I can understand it that they try to "save" people cause many unintentionally do it and it isn't ctb then for some methods and many did it impulsively and are happy that they survived but then they probably want to die again after being in a psych ward.

The first time I was there, I actually wanted to be there. I was scared I was gonna ctb, and I didn't want to. The institutions and systems should be there, but people shouldn't be intimidated nor forced to stay. People should stay there because they want to, not because they have to.

 

[unnormal9]

I was abused and raped once in one, during my longest stay.
Yes, absolutely traumatising.

 

[HopefulSleep]

I was abused and raped once in one, during my longest stay.
Yes, absolutely traumatising.

I am so sorry, I hope the person who did that to you dies, it is so evil

 

[nosoul]

I was put into psych wards mutliple times and they changed my way of thinking, I am so extremely scared to have to go there again.
It hurts much when I am stuck in a room with nothing else than my thoughts that hurt anyway.
I don't know if that counts as traumatizing cause it is not as bad as other things that have happened to me but it made me life worse, this is another reason why I want to kill myself, I just get a panic attack when I think about psych wards to long and if I am dead I will never have to go there again.

Rather be dead than in one long term, I'm facing this predicament now

 

[Lamentice]

Psych wards can definitely be very traumatizing, I'm sorry.. It makes me think about how often I see social media posts where people basically romanticize being in mental hospitals by describing it like a fun little vacation or something, or a place to make friends, or play games. I really don't understand that... those are very dark places...

 

[tiredangelgirl]

I listened to a podcast about trauma the other day and she used an example of how it can be "realizing there's more than just your reality" and it can happen in such a shocking and abrupt way that it's considered trauma. for example, you could tell someone you're hurting and think they may be there for you and try to keep you safe comfy etc and then all of a sudden you're sent away to the emergency room. it's the sudden change of your situation/ environment when you were anticipating something else. so if you ever feel like you have trauma from a typically *normal* or mild situation, this could be why. it still shocks our bodies , and as we know trauma stays IN our bodies not our minds.

 

[SilentSadness]

Psych wards are disgusting and anti-freedom places. They absolutely count as traumatising and it's abysmal that you've had to endure one, especially several times. The way they lock people up and abuse them just for wanting to die is delusional, selfish and horrific. They are nothing more than prisons. I hope you never have to endure that kind of trauma again.

 

[unnormal9]

I am so sorry, I hope the person who did that to you dies, it is so evil

It is ok. I am ready to be relieved from this long fought battle with pain.

 

[HopefulSleep]

It is ok. I am ready to be relieved from this long fought battle with pain.

How will you ctb?

 

[unnormal9]

How will you ctb?

Jumping from the Royal Gorge Bridge.

 

[LaVieEnRose]

Me too. Big time. I've read accounts of people actually killing themselves when faced with the imminent prospect of being forced back into one. I surely can understand one. It's one of the worst socially sanctioned mistreatment of people in my opinion (as in mistreatment easily occurs in them,not that it always occurs necessarily). They certainly don't try to not wreck people's lives on the outside though, especially in dumb America.