Story I Survived....

[exitplease]

I don't remember everything but I can tell you what was in my plan and the few things I remember. I had 3 glasses with 25gm SN but I vomited it all out, until I was dry heaving. I had written down in my plan that I should call the hospital as soon as a threw up the 3rd glass and I had them dialed just in case. After throwing up the 3rd glass I called the hospital and it all happened in maybe less than 12 minutes because I didn't pass out yet.

When I woke up in the hospital I obviously had a panic attack, I thought I'd actually succeed but I was wrong. I'm still very confused how I couldn't be successful with 75gm SN (I threw up a lot, but, still…)

That's horrifying. Thank you for sharing your experience. Did you take an antiemetic?

My method was SN and I somehow survived... My account was Griffith but it got deleted because I was inactive because I was in a hospital for weeks. Part of it was just being unconscious...
But it's fucked that I survived, not my own family is neglecting me, I've lost all my friends, life is just treating me like shit more and more... People cared more about me when they thought I was dead... I hate it, why am I always cursed, nothing goes my way... Not even death....

Thank you so much for sharing your experience with SN. After feeling comforted that I had finally found a reliable and peaceful method, this has scared the living shit out of me.

 

[conarc]

No worries, SN is still safe. Just read peaceful pill handbook and dont believe in scaremongering.

That's horrifying. Thank you for sharing your experience. Did you take an antiemetic?

Thank you so much for sharing your experience with SN. After feeling comforted that I had finally found a reliable and peaceful method, this has scared the living shit out of me.

Why do you say that and in another thread you ask for sources? Part of me wants to ask if you are a prolifer or from authority.

 

[アホペンギン]

That's horrifying. Thank you for sharing your experience. Did you take an antiemetic?

Yeah, I took an antiemetic, metoclopramide 30mg.

Usually I take 5mg daily because I struggle with nausea but 30mg was definitely not enough for SN. I took note of it and I'll make sure to use more next time or I'll get domperidone next time I visit my doctor.

 

[peaches]

It was the most peaceful thing I've ever experienced...

I don't understand how peaceful and vomiting can exist in the same experience.
I'm highly emetiphobic. I literally would rather shoot my self than vomit.
I do not have any ctb option that involves nausea or vomiting.

 

[Larysa]

No worries, SN is still safe. Just read peaceful pill handbook and dont believe in scaremongering.

Why do you say that and in another thread you ask for sources? Part of me wants to ask if you are a prolifer or from authority.

You can't comprehend that someone could be seriously conflicted and trying to find as much information as possible in order to weigh it up?

Plus personal accounts are not "scaremongering".

 

[conarc]

You can't comprehend that someone could be seriously conflicted and trying to find as much information as possible in order to weigh it up?

Plus personal accounts are not "scaremongering".

Personal accounts dont exist. Authorities and prolifers are writing here as well and pretend to be one of "us".

 

[Larysa]

Personal accounts dont exist. Authorities and prolifers are writing here as well and pretend to be one of "us".

Personal account as in personal testimony.

 

[limerent]

Don't be too harsh on yourself, take your time to process your emotions and the situation and don't rush things. I'd imagine it's really painful for everyone around you to feel distant or against you but remember that SS is always a place to hangout if all else fails.

 

[Meditation guide]

My method was SN and I somehow survived... My account was Griffith but it got deleted because I was inactive because I was in a hospital for weeks. Part of it was just being unconscious...
But it's fucked that I survived, not my own family is neglecting me, I've lost all my friends, life is just treating me like shit more and more... People cared more about me when they thought I was dead... I hate it, why am I always cursed, nothing goes my way... Not even death....

Why were you in a hospital for weeks? What was it like after you took SN such as pain? vomiting? Thank you for sharing any info you can. I'm sorry you went through all that!

 

[Save_Me_Mind]

Did u not throw up or have any other symptoms?

I didn't throw up, only felt relaxed, and at peace.

 

[cscott]

I didn't throw up, only felt relaxed, and at peace.

Well I fucking hope this is me .. how much benzos did u take .. thanks for reply

 

[Deleted member 65988]

I didn't throw up, only felt relaxed, and at peace.

Could the tachycardia issue been caused by the fact that they pumped you full of Methelyne blue considering you were driven over an hour away for treatment. How would you describe that peace and what was the overall intensity of the symptoms?

 

[randal_bond]

I didn't call anyone, a family member found me on the floor in my room, while I was unconscious so at least 15 minutes later after, and then I was taken to a hospital that was at least an hour away, and I was told they injected me with all of the antidote they had in that hospital then brought me to another one, in that one I was given charcoal to make me throw up. The most fucked up part was... My SI did the exact opposite, it wanted to die, it didn't do anything to try to save me, when I was unconscious, I was told that a police officer was yelling "what did you take" and I apparently was just laughing and I said, "It's too late" or "It doesn't matter anymore"... But they were trying to open my mouth but it was completely clenched, my body wouldn't let anyone try to save me... I love my body for that, but it's also very scary. So I would have died if it wasn't for my family and luck and God.
But my heart is also fucked up now... My resting heart rate has been up in 120bpm area... Imagine it when I work out... I was someone who always worked out, ran with a weighted vest, etc... I was healthy physically, so this is terrible... Probably going to have a heart attack in the future, although this is poetic that my Heart would be the thing that will kill me...
The worst part is that it was so peaceful.... I've never felt so much peace before in my life... It was a high that I could never every achieve again in life, but only in death... I felt no pain, everything felt nice...

Hi. Sorry you had to go through all of this and still be here.
Do you mind if I ask you what symptoms you've experienced and can you rate them 1/10?
Did you have bad air hunger?
Did you have unbearable thirst?
How long do you think it took you to fall unconscious?
What med preparation have you done?
Generally, how would you rate this method sufferingwise, based on your own experience?

Thanks in advance.

 

[LonelyPlanetBoy]

Hello
I am really sorry to hear what you've been through. I can imagine that it felt scary and depressing when you woke up. It's interesting that you felt so peacful. Could you explain how that feeling was?

I just wanted to say to try no to bee to critical with yourself and put the blame on you. Maybe it wasn't time for you to go. If you need someone to talk to feel free to message me.

 

[Some place nice]

I'm so sorry you survived. You deserve the freedom that you want.

 

[letmegetout]

I'm so sorry you've had to go through this

 

[Painfu.Ll.suffering]

My method was SN and I somehow survived... My account was Griffith but it got deleted because I was inactive because I was in a hospital for weeks. Part of it was just being unconscious...
But it's fucked that I survived, not my own family is neglecting me, I've lost all my friends, life is just treating me like shit more and more... People cared more about me when they thought I was dead... I hate it, why am I always cursed, nothing goes my way... Not even death....

Omfg... I am so sorry... This is my biggest fear... :( are u planning of trying again with sn? Maybe at another place where u can't be found?

 

[Spectre]

Surviving SN feels terrible and is so embarrassing. I feel your pain.

 

[CheekyPhobia]

I didn't call anyone, a family member found me on the floor in my room, while I was unconscious so at least 15 minutes later after, and then I was taken to a hospital that was at least an hour away, and I was told they injected me with all of the antidote they had in that hospital then brought me to another one, in that one I was given charcoal to make me throw up. The most fucked up part was... My SI did the exact opposite, it wanted to die, it didn't do anything to try to save me, when I was unconscious, I was told that a police officer was yelling "what did you take" and I apparently was just laughing and I said, "It's too late" or "It doesn't matter anymore"... But they were trying to open my mouth but it was completely clenched, my body wouldn't let anyone try to save me... I love my body for that, but it's also very scary. So I would have died if it wasn't for my family and luck and God.
But my heart is also fucked up now... My resting heart rate has been up in 120bpm area... Imagine it when I work out... I was someone who always worked out, ran with a weighted vest, etc... I was healthy physically, so this is terrible... Probably going to have a heart attack in the future, although this is poetic that my Heart would be the thing that will kill me...
The worst part is that it was so peaceful.... I've never felt so much peace before in my life... It was a high that I could never every achieve again in life, but only in death... I felt no pain, everything felt nice...

That sounds horrible. Im so sorry you had to experience that.

 

[NoOneLovesMiMi]

My method was SN and I somehow survived... My account was Griffith but it got deleted because I was inactive because I was in a hospital for weeks. Part of it was just being unconscious...
But it's fucked that I survived, not my own family is neglecting me, I've lost all my friends, life is just treating me like shit more and more... People cared more about me when they thought I was dead... I hate it, why am I always cursed, nothing goes my way... Not even death....

I can relate. My first attempt I was 12 or 13.
Nobody really cared and I should of known then. I'm hoping my method will work. I'd even take being in a coma.
But I definitely know what it feels like when you want something to work and it doesn't. Like damn I can't even die right.

 

[Pardoe84]

Yeah, I took an antiemetic, metoclopramide 30mg.

Usually I take 5mg daily because I struggle with nausea but 30mg was definitely not enough for SN. I took note of it and I'll make sure to use more next time or I'll get domperidone next time I visit my doctor.

How is it possible that you took Meto but vomited? Meto should have prevent you from vomiting.

 

[Save_Me_Mind]

Hi. Sorry you had to go through all of this and still be here.
Do you mind if I ask you what symptoms you've experienced and can you rate them 1/10?
Did you have bad air hunger?
Did you have unbearable thirst?
How long do you think it took you to fall unconscious?
What med preparation have you done?
Generally, how would you rate this method sufferingwise, based on your own experience?

Thanks in advance.

I'm still here.... haven't been on this website in a while but... To answer your questions:

1. I didn't feel any symptoms, I simply passed out randomly in between 10 minutes (maybe like 5-7 minutes). assuming you mean 10 is the worst pain, then I felt a 1/10, very peaceful and comforting.
2. I'm not sure what that is, but most likely not.
3. I didn't have unbearable thirst.
4. As I said above, about 7 minutes.
5. I don't feel comfortable sharing that, I'm sure I have already shared it somewhere in one of my past posts or on my old account but that one got deleted.
6. There was no suffering, it was the only thing to make me actually feel at peace. However this was what it was like for myself. I've read others experiences and it usually seems that they at least have a few symptoms or it could feel like hell for them. That's what I read. But none of this was the case for me. I am a person whom does not feel really anything, been depressed since I was a kid and I can't release endorphins or feel "good".
I hope this answered your questions.

Why were you in a hospital for weeks? What was it like after you took SN such as pain? vomiting? Thank you for sharing any info you can. I'm sorry you went through all that!

1. I was in the hospital for about 5 days then moved to a psyche for 2 weeks.
2. After I took the SN I felt at ease, everything actually felt.... "right", and I felt at peace as I've said. I had no vomiting at all.
Thank you for comforting me...
If anyone has any questions, feel free to just message me. I don't mind, but any questions about what meds did I take, I won't be answering. Simply because it hurts being reminded.

 

[Schaf]

@Save_Me_Mind

Spoiler: Fellow Berserk fan:

Interesting, Griffith, a lot of times when I talked about suicide with friends they used to say jokingly that I couldn't because I had the "Berserk curse" which means cause I was reading since I was a kid, now I had to wait until it finishes lol and honestly it was one of the few purposes I had in life. Not because of what they said but because it is true, one of the only things that I am passionate with is Berserk.
The year of Miura's death I had one of my attempts, I had several panic attacks after the news, it didn't take 10 minutes for people to start bombarding me with messages asking if I was okay... People said I was crying over someone I didn't ever met. It doesn't matter, even if they are continuing to write I'll never know if it is going as he planned. (and I bet it isn't)
Well, your "berserk curse" is that your nickname was Griffith, so you can call yourself Femto now. (jk) :p
Maybe everyone inside SS carries the brand, actually: having this constant feeling of being chased

Now about your attempt:
Tried SN too but I passed out before even taking the SN (AE kicked me out, posted it here before, my body is weak). I'm sorry you had your moment of peace interrupted. Hope your heart rate is a bit better now btw!

 

[LastFlowers]

Yeah, they prefer you inanimate — because then you transform into a creature of their imagination. They get to conspicuously heap praise on virtues they value, with the audience's sympathy

Now you're just someone they can't make plans with, nor enduring relations. Even though you're a sentient being to experience

This is why I prefer treat to care about people when they're still alive & it still matters to them

Spot on, well said.

Well said

Ha, I said the same but just seeing your comment now.

 

[pasho25000]

Yeah, I took an antiemetic, metoclopramide 30mg.

Usually I take 5mg daily because I struggle with nausea but 30mg was definitely not enough for SN. I took note of it and I'll make sure to use more next time or I'll get domperidone next time I visit my doctor.

did you take meto for 48h ?

 

[death2022]

I'm still here.... haven't been on this website in a while but... To answer your questions:

1. I didn't feel any symptoms, I simply passed out randomly in between 10 minutes (maybe like 5-7 minutes). assuming you mean 10 is the worst pain, then I felt a 1/10, very peaceful and comforting.
2. I'm not sure what that is, but most likely not.
3. I didn't have unbearable thirst.
4. As I said above, about 7 minutes.
5. I don't feel comfortable sharing that, I'm sure I have already shared it somewhere in one of my past posts or on my old account but that one got deleted.
6. There was no suffering, it was the only thing to make me actually feel at peace. However this was what it was like for myself. I've read others experiences and it usually seems that they at least have a few symptoms or it could feel like hell for them. That's what I read. But none of this was the case for me. I am a person whom does not feel really anything, been depressed since I was a kid and I can't release endorphins or feel "good".
I hope this answered your questions.

1. I was in the hospital for about 5 days then moved to a psyche for 2 weeks.
2. After I took the SN I felt at ease, everything actually felt.... "right", and I felt at peace as I've said. I had no vomiting at all.
Thank you for comforting me...
If anyone has any questions, feel free to just message me. I don't mind, but any questions about what meds did I take, I won't be answering. Simply because it hurts being reminded.

May I ask how many grams of SN did you take?

 

[Raven2]

How is your heart now? I read on previous post your high rate was higher than normal. I hope it is back to normal levels now.

 

[Save_Me_Mind]

May I ask how many grams of SN did you take?

I took 20g

How is your heart now? I read on previous post your high rate was higher than normal. I hope it is back to normal levels now.

My heart rate is technically lower now normal I guess, however it doesn't feel that way, it feels as if it's always racing even if it isn't when my pulse is checked. It's not anxiety or anything either...idk....