Story I Survived....

[Save_Me_Mind]

My method was SN and I somehow survived... My account was Griffith but it got deleted because I was inactive because I was in a hospital for weeks. Part of it was just being unconscious...
But it's fucked that I survived, not my own family is neglecting me, I've lost all my friends, life is just treating me like shit more and more... People cared more about me when they thought I was dead... I hate it, why am I always cursed, nothing goes my way... Not even death....

 

[DeathSleep]

I also feel unlucky with trying to CTB. I'm sorry it didn't go as planned.

 

[mmikkee1]

how did you survive? Did you call for help? Usually survival is rare unless you or somebody else called for help. Are you okay now?

 

[lopsidedcrawdad1]

My method was SN and I somehow survived... My account was Griffith but it got deleted because I was inactive because I was in a hospital for weeks. Part of it was just being unconscious...
But it's fucked that I survived, not my own family is neglecting me, I've lost all my friends, life is just treating me like shit more and more... People cared more about me when they thought I was dead... I hate it, why am I always cursed, nothing goes my way... Not even death....

Somebody who you were friends with on discord made a post really upset about you a while ago. I hope they find out youre still here somehow

 

[Jealous Blackheart]

Recovering from failed attempts is awful. Recovering from failed attempts when people know is even worse.
Do you mind sharing what went wrong?

 

[absurdtimeline]

But it's fucked that I survived, not my own family is neglecting me, I've lost all my friends, life is just treating me like shit more and more... People cared more about me when they thought I was dead...

Yeah, they prefer you inanimate — because then you transform into a creature of their imagination. They get to conspicuously heap praise on virtues they value, with the audience's sympathy

Now you're just someone they can't make plans with, nor enduring relations. Even though you're a sentient being to experience

This is why I prefer treat to care about people when they're still alive & it still matters to them

 

[Save_Me_Mind]

how did you survive? Did you call for help? Usually survival is rare unless you or somebody else called for help. Are you okay now?

I didn't call anyone, a family member found me on the floor in my room, while I was unconscious so at least 15 minutes later after, and then I was taken to a hospital that was at least an hour away, and I was told they injected me with all of the antidote they had in that hospital then brought me to another one, in that one I was given charcoal to make me throw up. The most fucked up part was... My SI did the exact opposite, it wanted to die, it didn't do anything to try to save me, when I was unconscious, I was told that a police officer was yelling "what did you take" and I apparently was just laughing and I said, "It's too late" or "It doesn't matter anymore"... But they were trying to open my mouth but it was completely clenched, my body wouldn't let anyone try to save me... I love my body for that, but it's also very scary. So I would have died if it wasn't for my family and luck and God.
But my heart is also fucked up now... My resting heart rate has been up in 120bpm area... Imagine it when I work out... I was someone who always worked out, ran with a weighted vest, etc... I was healthy physically, so this is terrible... Probably going to have a heart attack in the future, although this is poetic that my Heart would be the thing that will kill me...
The worst part is that it was so peaceful.... I've never felt so much peace before in my life... It was a high that I could never every achieve again in life, but only in death... I felt no pain, everything felt nice...

 

[FuneralCry]

It must be so awful to go through a failed attempt, it’s so inhumane how we cannot just leave this existence in peace in a guaranteed way. But anyway best wishes, it’s really terrifying how trying to die can go wrong.

 

[アホペンギン]

I also survived SN.. its traumatizing… I had a fucking panic attack when I woke up after a coma. Its the scariest thing, surviving.

I remember you, I talked to you a bit.

 

[Minsu]

It probably wasn't too hard to guess what you had taken..
I'm so sorry what you're going through

 

[painful existence]

I think the attempt to CTB should only be made when you are dead sure that nobody would find you for atleast a few hours.Also CTB should be avoided in case you have doubts/anxiety about doing CTB.The survival instincts might kick in once you go ahead with the process and you might call for help and if the rescuers don't arrive at time then it might cause permanent damage to your organs.

 

[DumbGirl]

My method was SN and I somehow survived... My account was Griffith but it got deleted because I was inactive because I was in a hospital for weeks. Part of it was just being unconscious...
But it's fucked that I survived, not my own family is neglecting me, I've lost all my friends, life is just treating me like shit more and more... People cared more about me when they thought I was dead... I hate it, why am I always cursed, nothing goes my way... Not even death....

I'm sorry that it didn't go as your planned
I'm going to ctb with SN too
May i ask if you take meds with it ? Did you vomit and take back up cups ?

 

[conarc]

I didn't call anyone, a family member found me on the floor in my room, while I was unconscious so at least 15 minutes later after, and then I was taken to a hospital that was at least an hour away, and I was told they injected me with all of the antidote they had in that hospital then brought me to another one, in that one I was given charcoal to make me throw up. The most fucked up part was... My SI did the exact opposite, it wanted to die, it didn't do anything to try to save me, when I was unconscious, I was told that a police officer was yelling "what did you take" and I apparently was just laughing and I said, "It's too late" or "It doesn't matter anymore"... But they were trying to open my mouth but it was completely clenched, my body wouldn't let anyone try to save me... I love my body for that, but it's also very scary. So I would have died if it wasn't for my family and luck and God.
But my heart is also fucked up now... My resting heart rate has been up in 120bpm area... Imagine it when I work out... I was someone who always worked out, ran with a weighted vest, etc... I was healthy physically, so this is terrible... Probably going to have a heart attack in the future, although this is poetic that my Heart would be the thing that will kill me...
The worst part is that it was so peaceful.... I've never felt so much peace before in my life... It was a high that I could never every achieve again in life, but only in death... I felt no pain, everything felt nice...

I am sorry for you that it failed.

You made a very good contribution to SASU by posting your experience. Thank you for that.

 

[carac]

Does @401kind know? They made a really upsetting post thinking you had passed

 

[mmikkee1]

I didn't call anyone, a family member found me on the floor in my room, while I was unconscious so at least 15 minutes later after, and then I was taken to a hospital that was at least an hour away, and I was told they injected me with all of the antidote they had in that hospital then brought me to another one, in that one I was given charcoal to make me throw up. The most fucked up part was... My SI did the exact opposite, it wanted to die, it didn't do anything to try to save me, when I was unconscious, I was told that a police officer was yelling "what did you take" and I apparently was just laughing and I said, "It's too late" or "It doesn't matter anymore"... But they were trying to open my mouth but it was completely clenched, my body wouldn't let anyone try to save me... I love my body for that, but it's also very scary. So I would have died if it wasn't for my family and luck and God.
But my heart is also fucked up now... My resting heart rate has been up in 120bpm area... Imagine it when I work out... I was someone who always worked out, ran with a weighted vest, etc... I was healthy physically, so this is terrible... Probably going to have a heart attack in the future, although this is poetic that my Heart would be the thing that will kill me...
The worst part is that it was so peaceful.... I've never felt so much peace before in my life... It was a high that I could never every achieve again in life, but only in death... I felt no pain, everything felt nice...

Was it painful at all? Or was it just peaceful like you said?

 

[Bluebunnysky]

How was the SN experience like? Did you go unconscious relatively quickly?

 

[AnonGermany]

I am so sorry that you had to go through this just to wake up in the end. I cant even imagine how you must feel right now and still finding the energy to post here. Thank you for sharing your experience with us.

 

[401kind]

Does @401kind know? They made a really upsetting post thinking you had passed

Thank you very much for tagging me. 🩷

 

[Departme]

I'm sorry to hear it did not work out for you and very sad to hear you would have succeeded if not discovered - I suppose this is the moral of the story for anybody attempting this way, to ensure not discovered. I can only wish you well in your recovery and it could well be your bpm rate will decrease in time as the body recovers from the shock of the experience, I sincerely hope it does for you and thanks for posting the experience.

 

[LivideLamb]

I'm very sorry that happened. I wish you the best of luck with everything

 

[Csmith8827]

I also survived SN.. its traumatizing… I had a fucking panic attack when I woke up after a coma. Its the scariest thing, surviving.

I remember you, I talked to you a bit.

I remember you saying you were going to CTB with SN...I was in jail at the time...I had to do a week... what happened if you don't mind me asking? Did you take 20-25grams? How did you wake up/survive it? What's your story if you don't mind me asking...

 

[release_me]

I didn't call anyone, a family member found me on the floor in my room, while I was unconscious so at least 15 minutes later after, and then I was taken to a hospital that was at least an hour away, and I was told they injected me with all of the antidote they had in that hospital then brought me to another one, in that one I was given charcoal to make me throw up. The most fucked up part was... My SI did the exact opposite, it wanted to die, it didn't do anything to try to save me, when I was unconscious, I was told that a police officer was yelling "what did you take" and I apparently was just laughing and I said, "It's too late" or "It doesn't matter anymore"... But they were trying to open my mouth but it was completely clenched, my body wouldn't let anyone try to save me... I love my body for that, but it's also very scary. So I would have died if it wasn't for my family and luck and God.
But my heart is also fucked up now... My resting heart rate has been up in 120bpm area... Imagine it when I work out... I was someone who always worked out, ran with a weighted vest, etc... I was healthy physically, so this is terrible... Probably going to have a heart attack in the future, although this is poetic that my Heart would be the thing that will kill me...
The worst part is that it was so peaceful.... I've never felt so much peace before in my life... It was a high that I could never every achieve again in life, but only in death... I felt no pain, everything felt nice...

Oh my word !!! You've been through a lot dear friend and you're a braveheart just for that, whether you like it or not. You need to rest well and recover fully first before anything else!
May the force be with you

 

[アホペンギン]

I remember you saying you were going to CTB with SN...I was in jail at the time...I had to do a week... what happened if you don't mind me asking? Did you take 20-25grams? How did you wake up/survive it? What's your story if you don't mind me asking...

I don’t remember everything but I can tell you what was in my plan and the few things I remember. I had 3 glasses with 25gm SN but I vomited it all out, until I was dry heaving. I had written down in my plan that I should call the hospital as soon as a threw up the 3rd glass and I had them dialed just in case. After throwing up the 3rd glass I called the hospital and it all happened in maybe less than 12 minutes because I didn’t pass out yet.

When I woke up in the hospital I obviously had a panic attack, I thought I’d actually succeed but I was wrong. I’m still very confused how I couldn’t be successful with 75gm SN (I threw up a lot, but, still…)

 

[my_sundown]

Yeah, they prefer you inanimate — because then you transform into a creature of their imagination. They get to conspicuously heap praise on virtues they value, with the audience's sympathy

Now you're just someone they can't make plans with, nor enduring relations. Even though you're a sentient being to experience

This is why I prefer treat to care about people when they're still alive & it still matters to them

Well said

 

[Save_Me_Mind]

Was it painful at all? Or was it just peaceful like you said?

It was the most peaceful thing I've ever experienced...

 

[mmikkee1]

It was the most peaceful thing I've ever experienced...

huh, strange, usually there is some discomfort there but i guess everyone is different

 

[Save_Me_Mind]

Why does it always have to be this way... I always fail in everything in life.... I truly am cursed... I hate it all.... When will it end, this torture...
please.... please... God please just save me....

I also survived SN.. its traumatizing… I had a fucking panic attack when I woke up after a coma. Its the scariest thing, surviving.

I remember you, I talked to you a bit.

I remember you a bit as well... Since my old account has disappeared for some reason, can you tell me what my Goodbye thread was like if you remember it? Did people respond to it or anything?... Sorry, I just don't remember...

 

[mmikkee1]

It was the most peaceful thing I've ever experienced...

would you do it again if you had the option to? I am sorrry the attempt has failed. Failing sucks a lot

 

[Save_Me_Mind]

Am I a bad person?.... I don't even understand what's going on inside my mind anymore, I've lost everything. I just need to become unclouded once more...
I wish I could just be in peace, but that will never happen... So what do I do... Do I strive for my so called "Dream" that won't even allow me to feel pleasure from it?
I can't feel happy or joyful from anything, so am I just continuing the journey that society wants from me? I don't understand, it feels like I'm a puppet, just doing what
I was told so many times...

 

[cscott]

Did u not throw up or have any other symptoms?