I suffer so much... And all my suffering is in vain...

[Sakura.]

I really wish I could die already...


I am extremely hateful of the suffering, maladjustment, humiliation and rejection that I have to bear at my every moment...


I suffer so much...


And all my suffering is in vain because my situation will never change...


No matter how much I would sacrifice...

...how much I would bear all this...

...how much i would try...

...try to change all of this...

...how long I would wait for a change...

...and how long I would hold off on suicide...


...nothing will ever change and it will always be the same...



I'm severely autistic...

I'm extremely dysfunctional...

I'm handicapped-like...

I'm retarted...


There's just no solution for me...


Solutions designed for "normal" suffering people, such as therapy or pharmacology, simply cannot change anything in my case...


I will always be so extremely dysfunctional, retarded, maladjusted to everything and rejected and unbelonged everywhere...


There is nothing, absolutely nothing positive in my life. Especially nothing that I could live for despite my dysfunctions and in spite of them...

Everything, absolutely everything that could be positive in life, that could bring me joy, that could make me happy, is inaccessible to me because of my autism...


And yet I am forced to continue living, and continue to suffer so much...


All in vain...

 

[FuneralCry]

It sounds like you've suffered so much, it's all just so cruel and terrible to me how there's all this suffering in existing with no limit as to how unbearable it can get, I really understand just wanting to be free from it all, I wish you the best, I hope you find the relief you search for.

 

[darksouls]

I am very sorry that you are feeling so bad
sending you hugs and love