Venting I split on my FP in 2024 and I regret it to this day

[bluupup]

I should CTB I miss my fp so much. I miss him so fucking much and its all my fault because I split on him a couple years ago and he's never hated anyone more than he hates me now, we used to be best friends but something happened between us and he just told me he wants me dead. told me I'm a disgusting person and nothing can justify what I've done to him. but it isn't my fault right??? I split on him, it was an accidnt, I have a disorder, it isn't my fault right? I'm in the right he should be forgiving and befriend me again, an we could date for real and I'd be an amazing boyfriend to him and he'd love me so much how much I miss him and how much I cherish him every time he makes eye contact with me I just melt I want to touch myself whenever hes around because it feels like the only way I can get the feeling out I cant just express it verbally I don't even want to have sexual sex with him I just need the level of intimacy that sex gives two people the feeling you're one being, I need to be one with him.

 

[100memoryleaks]

bpd is a fucking bitch it ruined the best relationship i ever had with someone who is actually a decent person and not an abusive and manipulative mf like everyone else from the past. i wish i was normal so i wouldn't hate myself every day

 

[bluupup]

bpd is a fucking bitch it ruined the best relationship i ever had with someone who is actually a decent person and not an abusive and manipulative mf like everyone else from the past. i wish i was normal so i wouldn't hate myself every day

me too,,,