I feel like I'm disrespecting people with real problems and issues. I have a supportive group of friends, a family that loves me, a good clean record, and yet still I fail to find motivation in life. The worst "issue" I feel like I've had is being told my best wasn't good enough when my grades used to slip and thats such a stupid insignificant thing for me to feel so shit about. I always feel as if I'm not good enough (which is why I bring the previous "issue" as the worst for me) or like I'm wasting my life but can never find motivation to try and push myself to do anything with it. I never have motivation for anything even things I used to find fun I can't just enjoy anymore without nitpicking it to death. I don't want to feel this way for no reason, I don't want to feel guilty for feeling like I don't deserve to live but my own "issues" don't exist or are so insignificant that I can't help but feel ashamed when looking at some other peoples real genuine reasons. I've SH'd multiple times, I got caught the first time as I'd done it on my arm but after getting threatened with psychiatric evaluation (I'm not trying to be dramatic over nothing they genuinely used it as a threat) and watching my mother cry over my actions I moved to an easier to cover up spot. There have been times where I've gone for months every day but if I got asked why I wouldn't be able to answer as I'm not even sure myself. I'm so sorry that I feel this way, I genuinely know I shouldn't and I'm so sorry for whatever you've gone through or are going through I really hope things get better. I just wanted to speak my mind (for some reason) since I'm not sure if I'd be able to with a friend. I'll probably just go back to distracting myself by tinkering with electronics like I usually do, it at least still keeps my mind off those thoughts in the moment. Sorry if this was disrespectful or if my writing is odd I'm not really great at it.
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Carrot
Specialist
- Feb 25, 2025
- 352
It's not the contest. More than one person is allowed to feel sad, happy or be suicidal. Some people can withstand more psychological distress or physical pain. It can also depend on your environment and nearby people.
Somebody might lose a leg and their life is over. Somebody else might lose a leg and think it would be better if I had both legs, but they accept the situation and manage to move on.
Somebody might lose a leg and their life is over. Somebody else might lose a leg and think it would be better if I had both legs, but they accept the situation and manage to move on.
I understand that, I spoken with people and received similar responses but I still can't get past the feeling. I feel like I'm lying to myself because I can't for the life of me wrap my head around with I feel the way I do.
getoutgirl
<3
- Mar 17, 2025
- 407
Hi. First of all this is not disrespectful, you don't need what you think should be a "genuine reason" to be here or express this or feel the way you do. You don't. This is a space for everyone dealing with this, regardless of circumstances and thankfully with no judgement. So try to not feel bad about, get that guilt out of the way, which I know it's hard sometimes.
You sound like you have symptoms of depression. Not gonna diagnose, but if you haven't had psychiatric or psychological treatment yet, I'd say you might need that. You could use some help. The lack of motivation and joy and specially the SH itself are signs you are not doing well, which yeah obviously, but you really shouldn't rely just on SH and distractions forever, don't let this slip by or run away from it, that never works, and it really isn't worth it.
If you are not sure yourself why you are feeling this way, would want to know and how to get out of it, then you should seek help.
I could guess that guilt is a big part of why you might find that hard. Dealt with that myself too. When you don't feel like you are suffering "enough", that you should free space for the real ones going through the actual hard stuff. Or maybe you fear what others might think, family or friends, and that's why you might not want to talk to them about it yet (which is ok, you don't have to force yourself now)... but thing is all of that is just your brain doing a bit of lying to keep you in a comfort stasis, one which is just not sustainable. The self harm specially isn't either. I'd say you need help, and once you get it it will be easier to accept it, and easier to manage everything else.
If you can't access therapy or psychological treatment, consider resources online, this site has good ones in the recovery thread, those might help. You can also use this site to vent or ask for advice or just find any comfort that might make your days easier and a road to recovery more clear. But I'd still say the most important bit is getting yourself some help, and accepting you need some.
that's all I'll rant for now. In any case, take it easy, you are welcome here and I hope it helps you. Big hugs to you. <3
You sound like you have symptoms of depression. Not gonna diagnose, but if you haven't had psychiatric or psychological treatment yet, I'd say you might need that. You could use some help. The lack of motivation and joy and specially the SH itself are signs you are not doing well, which yeah obviously, but you really shouldn't rely just on SH and distractions forever, don't let this slip by or run away from it, that never works, and it really isn't worth it.
If you are not sure yourself why you are feeling this way, would want to know and how to get out of it, then you should seek help.
I could guess that guilt is a big part of why you might find that hard. Dealt with that myself too. When you don't feel like you are suffering "enough", that you should free space for the real ones going through the actual hard stuff. Or maybe you fear what others might think, family or friends, and that's why you might not want to talk to them about it yet (which is ok, you don't have to force yourself now)... but thing is all of that is just your brain doing a bit of lying to keep you in a comfort stasis, one which is just not sustainable. The self harm specially isn't either. I'd say you need help, and once you get it it will be easier to accept it, and easier to manage everything else.
If you can't access therapy or psychological treatment, consider resources online, this site has good ones in the recovery thread, those might help. You can also use this site to vent or ask for advice or just find any comfort that might make your days easier and a road to recovery more clear. But I'd still say the most important bit is getting yourself some help, and accepting you need some.
that's all I'll rant for now. In any case, take it easy, you are welcome here and I hope it helps you. Big hugs to you. <3
You're right, I haven't had any psychiatric or psychological treatment, I've also never been diagnosed with anything, I know I should probably just look into it but at this point I feel like I'm just scared that maybe I'll be fine and if that does happen then I'd still be left wondering the same thing. Still, thank you for the suggestions I'll for sure look into the Recovery Thread.
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