Venting I should not have agreed to do this

[Misery99]

I made a huge mistake to move in go a completely new country and culture (USA) with the partner whom married me. He had allowed for his mom to live with him too in the apartment which he had rented because she can't afford to pay rent on her own as she doesn't get enough money from her retirement and she's on debt. She's an old white woman. I noticed that she gives not direct but subtle signs that she doesn't really like me. Maybe because of racism or maybe because I'm broke with no money. I guess not all the people here likes immigrants and I had noticed it in the short time I've been here. I had a friend here from SS whom had told me about the racism in the western countries but I didn't listen to him and made this stupid decision to move to here and I hate it. I guess I was not ready for his blunt honesty and I thought that the the grass was always greener in the other side.

My life back in the home country wasn't great either because of having an unsupportive family but at least I didn't have to worry about the racism over there because all of the people sharing the same ethnic background as me.

 

[hurb]

Did u try to tell ur husband bout her? Maybe he would talk to her idk

 

[knowledgeseeking]

I'm sorry you're going through this. Part of the US can definitely be extremely racist. Your entire situation sounds awful. I hope you're able to get out and start finding a circle of friends. It will help a lot

 

[Misery99]

I'm sorry you're going through this. Part of the US can definitely be extremely racist. Your entire situation sounds awful. I hope you're able to get out and start finding a circle of friends. It will help a lot

I stay at home all the time and I feel very shy and insecure. I can't drive or have a driving license. I don't work. If I go outside, it's always with my partner. I've always been a very shy person even back home so I don't feel very comfortable talking with strangers unless they start talking with me first. And it's too late but I had realized that I must be somewhere in the Autism spectrum and I'm 100℅ sure that must be the reason why I've been struggling in my whole life. I've been able to relate to the terms like Autism burnout and Autism masking my whole life. And my family back home made me suffer a lot too with their selfish actions. I honestly feel like ctb is my only option in this situation.

 

[knowledgeseeking]

I stay at home all the time and I feel very shy and insecure. I can't drive or have a driving license. I don't work. If I go outside, it's always with my partner. I've always been a very shy person even back home so I don't feel very comfortable talking with strangers unless they start talking with me first. And it's too late but I had realized that I must be somewhere in the Autism spectrum and I'm 100℅ sure that must be the reason why I've been struggling in my whole life. I've been able to relate to the terms like Autism burnout and Autism masking my whole life. And my family back home made me suffer a lot too with their selfish actions. I honestly feel like ctb is my only option in this situation.

If you're part of the LGBT community like I am, that would be a great place to start. Maybe think about hitting a happy hour or two and check things out. Not every, but most gay people are more accepting and don't give a shit where you come from.

If I'm reading the situation wrong, sorry.

 

[Misery99]

If you're part of the LGBT community like I am, that would be a great place to start. Maybe think about hitting a happy hour or two and check things out. Not every, but most gay people are more accepting and don't give a shit where you come from.

If I'm reading the situation wrong, sorry.

I'm a woman and my partner is a man so I'm straight but I do respect all the people no matter if they are gay, straight, black or white. I'm very open minded. I never had any gay friends but I would like to have any kind of friends as long as they understand me and are nice to me.

Did u try to tell ur husband bout her? Maybe he would talk to her idk

I actually didn't tell him anything because she never had any arguments with me or anything. But I remember she was against the idea of her son marrying a girl from overseas even before she met me in person and so was my partner's older brother.

 

[Passenger4224]

There are some really crappy parts of the US and there are really nice parts. Sounds like you're living in an area full of jerks. Depending on where you are in the country the culture is different!

Where I live, most people respect each other, I did not even have to worry about bullying as a kid

 

[hurb]

I actually didn't tell him anything because she never had any arguments with me or anything. But I remember she was against the idea of her son marrying a girl from overseas even before she met me in person and so was my partner's older brother.

I respect that , but personally if i traveled and did all that to be with my partner, im not going to suffer in silence. I think i would think to myself that im warranted, to be slightly selfish. And express to him everything im feeling. i dont think , she has to have an argument with u , for u not to feel welcomed.
I guess what im trying to say , communication is key. Dont wait for urself to reach the boiling point.
Hope things get better for u guys !

 

[Misery99]

I respect that , but personally if i traveled and did all that to be with my partner, im not going to suffer in silence. I think i would think to myself that im warranted, to be slightly selfish. And express to him everything im feeling. i dont think , she has to have an argument with u , for u not to feel welcomed.
I guess what im trying to say , communication is key. Dont wait for urself to reach the boiling point.
Hope things get better for u guys !

Yes she gives me subtle hints which makes me believe that she actually hates me. She never tries to have a conversation with me. It's just me trying to have a converse with her and her replying to my questions. All she does is sit in front of the TV and watching TV and movies whole day. I don't like to watch TV so I stay inside the room. Her facial expressions and the tone of voice sometimes can be a bit rude as I can observe. Since I believe that I'm in the Autism spectrum, I tend to feel emotions deeply and I feel like verge of tears if I feel like someone is ignoring or disliking me. I guess I'm too sensitive and it makes things even more complicated. I'd much rather live alone than being with people who don't like my presence. And yes, I will try to tell my partner if this keeps going longer. If his mom doesn't like me, I don't want to live here.

There are some really crappy parts of the US and there are really nice parts. Sounds like you're living in an area full of jerks. Depending on where you are in the country the culture is different!

Where I live, most people respect each other, I did not even have to worry about bullying as a kid

Yes I think that's the case. I don't know if it's an issue in just states like Georgia. I haven't been in the public much unless it was with my partner but what I had noticed inside the stores and such was that the staff members talk with him but they kind of ignore my presence. Not sure if it's because of the difference of culture, dislike of immigrants or something else. Some strangers had smiled at me though. So there must be pretty nice people too. It's having to live with his mom which makes me feel stressed the most. Maybe she wishes her son had married someone local with a well paying job and good social skills or something.