I should never have existed in the first place.

[FuneralCry]

This post is just more repetitive complaining, I know that I am the most boring person in existence, if anyone sees this it is not worth reading, I do feel bad sometimes taking up space on a forum with pointless posts. I am just writing about this again to pass the time, and I know it is just a waste of time writing this, but everyday I have the same thoughts, that I should not have been born, if I was never alive in the first place it would mean that I would never have to suffer.

There is nothing positive about living, there is nothing that brings me any enjoyment, it just feels wrong being alive. I never feel relaxed, there is nothing here for me, nothing that comforts me and the future will only get worse. The future is so dark and depressing. I do not deserve a miserable life that I am not meant for, I deserve the peace that death brings. A lot of this week has been spent feeling ill, it can be horrible being trapped in this human body and anyone who says that life is positive overall is wrong. For all the people who are not suffering that much now, it can quickly change and that is why life is so horrible.

It is just awful having to deal with this pointless existence, life is so depressing and if not sad, it is just empty. I do not know how I am supposed to deal with decades of this life, I am still in my early 20's, even know I feel like I have been alive for a long time. I never want to reach old age, I just want freedom, I want non existence, but the fact that ctb is so difficult means that I am trapped in this world.

 

[AnestheticVoid]

I think everyone exists for one reason.

Misery Loves Company.

 

[jimmy7754]

I can't take it anymore.

 

[Sarros]

I was a mistake. Even if my parents would never admit it, learning the circumstances of my birth and my parents relationship at the time can really only mean that I was a mistake. I never asked for this, like all of us, suicidal or not, but i was also never asked for.

 

[orange]

You shouldn't feel bad about your posts, they bring a lot of us comfort

 

[Pain In The Ass]

I'm 40, and have recently realized that it is over, I've screwed any chance I ever had of getting at least some of what I may have wanted from my life, and all there is from this point onwards is physical pain, killing time and general misery. Maybe you're lucky, having this kind of realization in your 20's. I feel quite angry and foolish for getting up every day for the last 15 years, thinking every morning that one day I'll have the kind of life I'll actually enjoy. What a fool I was!!!

 

[Silenos]

I think everyone exists for one reason.

Misery Loves Company.

@MiseryLovesMyCompany

 

[GreenTree]

You may think your boring but I can assure you, your a pillar of strength on this forum. Always kind replies to most posts. It's horrible were all on this forum but you have given many posters comfort with your kind replies.

 

[ikadasui]

Absolutely agree. Also, when you're born by parents who are just genetic disasters for whatever reasons you're assuring that child has a miserable life before they even have a fighting chance. Over right from the gate. It's completely out of their hands in most cases, and it's truly miserable how much people suffer on the daily basis and people still won't approve of legalized peaceful exits. I truly wish I had never seen the light of day and not a soul on earth would want to be in my shoes, why would I?

You may think your boring but I can assure you, your a pillar of strength on this forum. Always kind replies to most posts. It's horrible were all on this forum but you have given many posters comfort with your kind replies.

I agree. Never judging but always offering some form of understanding and compassion it's soothing to see your post

 

[ijustwishtodie]

I'm sorry for your overactive mind FC and for how you have to write lots of repetitive threads just to pass time in this hellish existence. Personally, I'll always like your posts but I do understand the pain being alive causes you. May you find peace soon in permanent non existence

 

[Proteus]

This post is just more repetitive complaining, I know that I am the most boring person in existence, if anyone sees this it is not worth reading, I do feel bad sometimes taking up space on a forum with pointless posts. I am just writing about this again to pass the time, and I know it is just a waste of time writing this, but everyday I have the same thoughts

This brings a point: OP doesn't post the same everyday because she is trolling, she does it because she is really struggling. Unlike she says, she seems to need this forum. Her attitude is just a result of the hostility she received, but this place is still obviously important to her. She is aware of the problem of cluttering the board and lately, she is putting effort on being less repetitive. She knows the impact to other users and is doing something, so we should make her know she is liked by many members of the community. Some of us understand you and are here for you <3.

 

[Homo erectus]

This brings a point: OP doesn't post the same everyday because she is trolling, she does it because she is really struggling. Unlike she says, she seems to need this forum. Her attitude is just a result of the hostility she received, but this place is still obviously important to her. She is aware of the problem of cluttering the board and lately, she is putting effort on being less repetitive. She knows the impact to other users and is doing something, so we should make her know she is liked by many members of the community. Some of us understand you and are here for you <3.

Yes, things don't repeat for no reason.

 

[iloverachel]

Agreed 100 percent
You read my mind
Hugs my friend

 

[hopeless08]

This post is just more repetitive complaining, I know that I am the most boring person in existence, if anyone sees this it is not worth reading, I do feel bad sometimes taking up space on a forum with pointless posts. I am just writing about this again to pass the time, and I know it is just a waste of time writing this, but everyday I have the same thoughts, that I should not have been born, if I was never alive in the first place it would mean that I would never have to suffer.

There is nothing positive about living, there is nothing that brings me any enjoyment, it just feels wrong being alive. I never feel relaxed, there is nothing here for me, nothing that comforts me and the future will only get worse. The future is so dark and depressing. I do not deserve a miserable life that I am not meant for, I deserve the peace that death brings. A lot of this week has been spent feeling ill, it can be horrible being trapped in this human body and anyone who says that life is positive overall is wrong. For all the people who are not suffering that much now, it can quickly change and that is why life is so horrible.

It is just awful having to deal with this pointless existence, life is so depressing and if not sad, it is just empty. I do not know how I am supposed to deal with decades of this life, I am still in my early 20's, even know I feel like I have been alive for a long time. I never want to reach old age, I just want freedom, I want non existence, but the fact that ctb is so difficult means that I am trapped in this world.

You're not wasting space and you're not boring, please don't feel that way. We all put up posts constantly complaining and repeating the same things as nothing seems to change. If we don't post and vent about our feelings and suffering then who can we vent to. We are all here for the same reason and we have to support each other.

 

[chicken-nugget]

I was a mistake. Even if my parents would never admit it, learning the circumstances of my birth and my parents relationship at the time can really only mean that I was a mistake. I never asked for this, like all of us, suicidal or not, but i was also never asked for.

I was told I was a mistake lol I messed up all their pans