Venting General thread for my vents about wanting to die

[FuneralCry]

The pain of existing is endless.
I find it truly hellish and tragic how existing beings are tormented endlessly as a result of the abomination that is existence, it's just senseless cruelty and meaningless pain all for no deeper reason or purpose other than to torture existing beings until they die anyway.

It truly is endless the amount of suffering in this reality, I find it horrific how there is literally no limit as to how much agony one can feel in this existence where chance so senselessly determines everything, existence truly is so hopeless and futile to me, it's just a pointless struggle where one is just waiting to die anyway in a world filled with endless pain.

No matter what existing will always be painful to me and I find it so painful to simply be conscious and aware, I'm tired of suffering in this dreadful existence and only death can bring me peace. I believe death to be nothing more than an eternal, dreamless sleep free from all torment and agony, it's the one release from the endless pain existence causes, it's the one freedom from an existence that I never would have chosen in the first place. It truly does terrify me how existing beings are capable of feeling such immense pain, it's terrifying how there is no straightforward way for me to simply just die even know existence really is so immensely hellish and always will be no matter what

 

[FuneralCry]

Nothing appealing about suffering from old age.
There truly is nothing appealing about being trapped in this existence for decades on end just to be tortured and tormented by old age, no matter what I'd never wish for that hell and it terrifies me how this existence could continue for so long. It really is just meaningless suffering and pointless agony all no purpose, the thought of decaying and deteriorating from old age terrifies me, it's something I see as best avoided no matter what.

To avoid all future inevitable torment is why only wanting to die feels right to me personally, there is literally no limit as to how much one can suffer in this existence so futile, I'd always prefer to painlessly not exist than to face the hellish abomination that is old age and the fact that peaceful suicide methods aren't easily accessible for me to escape from this is devastating and horrific. Under no circumstances would I ever wish to suffer in this existence and existing is nothing but suffering, only death can bring me peace, I only wish for eternal nothingness.

 

[FuneralCry]

Non-existence is always preferable to me.
No matter what I'd always prefer to not exist, I'd always see it as preferable to be eternally unconscious than suffer in this existence so cruel and meaningless. There are no disadvantages to being unaware for all eternity yet there is unlimited potential for suffering as long as one exists which is certainly why non-existence is all I see as desirable. I see existence as such a hellish, harmful burden as well, it terrifies me how there is no limit as to how torturous existing can get yet it comforts me so much to think of death erasing all the suffering.

I personally only see beauty in non-existence as after all nobody can be harmed by the peace of an dreamless, eternal sleep, death truly is the only comfort for me, only death can bring me peace from the abomination that is existence. To exist means to suffer and I don't want to suffer in any way, non-existence is always preferable to me than being tormented in this pointless existence just waiting to die anyway, I've always and only wished to not exist, no matter the circumstances existing will always be completely undesirable to me.

 

[FuneralCry]

I wish I could erase my existence.
What would truly be ideal to me is the option to erase my existence so it's like never existed at all, all I wish for is to disappear with this existence eternally forgotten about. More than anything I wish I never existed and I want it to be like so, it'd be better that this futile, torturous and dreadful existence that has caused nothing but suffering to be erased and the fact that I cannot have that option is so immensely cruel, the pain and cruelty that existence causes is endless. I wish I could forget about it all by simply erasing my existence, it'd be such a relief for all this to be gone, nothing about this existence should ever be remembered.

 

[FuneralCry]

Fear of existing
I see it as something terrifying having the ability to exist as a conscious being destined to suffer way more, decay and deteriorate in an existence where there is unlimited potential for torment.

What is terrifying about existing is that there is literally no limit as to how unbearable it can get, if one is suffering a lot now then it can easily get way way worse and this is horrific, some people may go on about the "good" things in life or maybe they have things they value and appreciate and that's fine but they can be easily taken away and lead to way worse agony, in fact loss is inevitable for humans. And what is so cruel is how we exist in this reality where chance so senselessly determines everything so people can end up in the most extreme torture all through no fault of their own and it's just so hellish.

And what I find disturbing is how suicide isn't accepted as a valid option despite this with humans expected to suffer through loss, endless torment no matter what, I wish suicide is accepted as I find existing terrifying and I don't want to suffer ever again. Existence accomplishes nothing but burdening existing beings with the ability to feel agony and be tormented, I'd never want to exist no matter what, I'd always prefer the peace of eternal nothingness, I want the absence of everything rather than the unpredictable, uncertain harsh existence, I simply wish to be unaware as existing is just so painful and terrifying.

 

[FuneralCry]

The horrors of trying to die going wrong
I find it truly horrific and hellish how trying to die can go wrong and lead to way worse agony and torment, it's just so devastating how this can happen and has done and is exactly what I fear. It's immensley cruel how those who simply wish to be at peace can end up suffering way more unbearably all because what they want is freedom from this existence, more than anything I wish that the option is there to just die in an guaranteed way with no risks involved, it'd bring so much relief if people knew they could just die in peace whenever they want to.

It just disturbs me how there is endless potential to feel pain and agony in this existence, it's disturbing how those who wish to be eternally relieved from all meaningless suffering can end up in a situation way worse from the one they so desperately wanted peace from. I'm so tired of the futile, torturous and painful burden of existing as a human, really wish there's a painless way to find true peace from this pointless struggle of just waiting to die anyway as not everyone wishes to suffer so senselessly in this existence so futile.

 

[Alexei_Kirillov]

I'm a little late to the party but I'm so glad to see you back FC, your absence was noticeable <3

 

[agony1996]

The pain of existing is endless.
I find it truly hellish and tragic how existing beings are tormented endlessly as a result of the abomination that is existence, it's just senseless cruelty and meaningless pain all for no deeper reason or purpose other than to torture existing beings until they die anyway.

It truly is endless the amount of suffering in this reality, I find it horrific how there is literally no limit as to how much agony one can feel in this existence where chance so senselessly determines everything, existence truly is so hopeless and futile to me, it's just a pointless struggle where one is just waiting to die anyway in a world filled with endless pain.

No matter what existing will always be painful to me and I find it so painful to simply be conscious and aware, I'm tired of suffering in this dreadful existence and only death can bring me peace. I believe death to be nothing more than an eternal, dreamless sleep free from all torment and agony, it's the one release from the endless pain existence causes, it's the one freedom from an existence that I never would have chosen in the first place. It truly does terrify me how existing beings are capable of feeling such immense pain, it's terrifying how there is no straightforward way for me to simply just die even know existence really is so immensely hellish and always will be no matter what

I'm so sorry you sound like you're in immense pain. I know exactly how you feel

 

[opheliaoveragain]

Good to see you FC. Vent away <3 peace to you.

 

[GeoLavender23]

Just ignore this, this is just a thread to write down how I feel, I don't want to upset anyone, I'm just suffering
1) I'm not meant for existing
This is the way I've always felt, I'm not meant for something as cruel, futile and torturous as having the ability to exist, human existence has always been such a burden to me, it's a terrible and harmful burden that causes nothing but me pain. It's always been a struggle existing as a conscious being destined to suffer endlessly with no limit as to how much agony I can feel, it's just not for me, I never should have existed at all and more than anything I wish I never did.

Only the peace that non-existence can bring appeals to me, I wish to die but only never existing is true perfection, it'd be such a relief for me to die as this existence I was never meant for just torments me and I find it so hellish how painless suicide methods aren't accessible for me. if I could die painlessly I'd be long gone from this existence I was never meant for, only death can bring me peace. In my case I wouldn't want to exist under any circumstance as what I have a problem with is existence itself, I'm just not meant for it and I find it tragic how I have to exist when instead I could be at peace for all eternity, my existence is just meaningless suffering all for no reason and no purpose, I'm not meant to suffer, I'm only meant for the peace of eternal nothingness.

The only way even if it sounds funny is for the goverment to change and build a clinic/institute for assisted suicide for people with mental illness, even if it's in a capitalistic way, will 2030 change everything let's hope it does.

 

[FuneralCry]

Existing is just waiting around to die.
It truly is and I'm certainly tired of suffering in this cruel and meaningless existence. Having the ability to exist truly is the most futile process of slowly dying and waiting to die to me, it's just pointless suffering that serves no purpose and has no function other than to torture existing beings until all they know disappears into nothingness anyway with all finally forgotten about. It's deeply cruel to me how suicide isn't accepted as the very valid personal choice it truly is even know death is all that's inevitable, we are all just going to die so why should anyone have to be tormented in this existence for a second longer than they wish to.

I wish the option is there to just painlessly free myself from this existence that is destined for nothing but to decay and die anyway, I'd always prefer the true peace of eternal nothingness over being trapped in this existence just waiting to die, it terrifies me how humans can exist for so long. Under no circumstances would I ever wish to exist, I wish I stayed eternally unaware of the abomination that is existence more than anything, to have the option to never wake again would bring me so much peace but of course the only true perfection to me lies in never existing at all, I personally see no point and value in waiting to die in this existence filled with endless suffering that is so immensely cruel.

 

[FuneralCry]

Wish to sleep eternally.
All I wish for is to sleep eternally, I'm always wishing for eternal sleep. It comforts me to think of no longer being conscious and aware, it's comforting to think of death erasing everything for me and bringing peace from all the pain.
Existence truly is so cruel and painful with endless potential for torment, I find it dreadful and tiresome to exist, if I had the option to just permanently fall asleep it would bring me endless amounts of relief, the only relief for me certainly lies in the eternity of non-existence, I'd never wish to suffer in this existence no matter what. I'd always choose eternal sleep over this futile, yet so torturous burden.

Existing is certainly not for me, I'm only suited to the peace of permanent nothingness, this existence is best forgotten about for me, I'd always prefer to sleep as if I'm unaware then I cannot feel pain, cannot suffer in any way which is all that's ideal to me. I only find comfort in death, all that comforts me is the thought of dreamless, eternal sleep bringing peace.

 

[RoadBLOCK]

The only way even if it sounds funny is for the goverment to change and build a clinic/institute for assisted suicide for people with mental illness, even if it's in a capitalistic way, will 2030 change everything let's hope it does.

Life is very important. Have you seen the profits of beauty clinics in 2023? It is billions to combat aging from Botox, fillers and laser. Everyone loves life and no one will want to open this clinic, perhaps in 2100, not 2030.

 

[FuneralCry]

Existing can get so torturous way beyond how anyone can imagine it to
And this is why I'd certainly always prefer to not exist, if one is in agony now then there is unlimited potential for it to get way more unbearable, in fact there is literally no limit. The pain of existing is endless and very very real, I find it deeply disturbing how an existing being is capable of being tormented so extremely in an existence so meaningless and futile, it really is so hellish.

To me existence is absolutley unacceptable, it's an abomination, to be conscious and aware in this reality truly is a punishment to me that I never would have chosen. The human body is really just a decaying flesh prison that one is enslaved to which is capable of causing the most extreme suffering yet it's programmed to survive no matter what, it's evolved to keep people tormented in this existence and what I find so horrific is how there's no straightforward way to be free from all this with the risk being there of suffering way more unbearably from trying to die going wrong.

Many humans just wish to trap others in situations of endless torture until they die anyway without the option to die painlessly it's just so tragic honestly. I can't stop thinking about how existing beings are tormented every second and how so many more will be in the future, the amount of suffering in this reality is certainly beyond comprehension, existence is the problem and always will be, we exist in hell.

 

[Traveller12724]

It's really lovely to have you back FC! Vent away my friend, I certainly share a lot of your views!

 

[Sulyya]

if one is in agony now then there is unlimited potential for it to get way more unbearable, in fact there is literally no limit. The pain of existing is endless

Every day I'm more sad than the last. If someone was in a tortue chamber then the pain could almost always get a little bit worse but has a limit. The pain in your heart can always get worse.

Please set our souls free, someone.

 

[FuneralCry]

The agony of forcing people to suffer
If people wish to continue existing then that is their personal decision but it leads to endless amounts of torment and pain how this is literally forced onto everyone with humans expected to suffer no matter what with no acceptance towards suicide as the very valid personal decision it truly is. I just find it so terrible and cruel how suicide isn't accepted as a choice as I'd never want to exist and only wish for the peace that non-existence can bring, I just don't have any interest in the futile and torturous burden of existing as a human and see such as something completely undesirable.

It terrifies me how a human can potentially exist for so long and suffer so immensley with no limit as to how much they can be tormented, why cant it be accepted that not everyone wants existence. Allowing people the option to just painlessly die would be such a relief and mean that people have a choice, it's so hellish to me how I cannot just have the option to fall asleep eternally whenever I wish to. Anti-suicide truly does just lead to more torture and agony, the fact that people are denied the option of guaranteed, painless methods and have to suffer and struggle to die on their own terms just shows how hellish this anti-suicide society truly is.

 

[FuneralCry]

I feel like I've suffered in this existence for far too long.
It certainly does feel like I've been trapped here for such a long time and I'm tired of suffering here, more than anything I wish I never existed at all so I wouldn't have to suffer in any way, never existing would have prevented all the pain and torment this futile existence caused and I find it tragic how I was forced here in the first place.

For me even being conscious and aware for a second is one second too long, no matter what existence will always be completely unnecessary and something I'd always prefer to be eternally relieved from. Only eternal sleep can bring me peace, it terrifies me how this existence could potentially continue for decades with unlimited potential to suffer, I wish I could just fall asleep permanently and forget about it all.
Hopefully soon I get some kind of sleep.

 

[Sulyya]

Hopefully soon I get some kind of sleep.

 

[jbear824]

I have to say FC, (selfishly) im glad you're still on this forum. I thought you were bullied away. I've missed your posts here. But I am sorry that we are still trapped here (in life)