Help I should feel mad, not sad

[lainsito]

Whenever I am angry, I can't express that anger, I immediately cry.
Whenever I am in an argument, people immediately think I am a crybaby, and as much that I want to express my anger, I can't.
I remember that I used to had problems in my school with some kids, each class they would say something to me (obviously, something bad, gross, etc.) and instead of fight them back I just wanted to cry, or my only release to anger was harming myself and others.
Thats one of the mainly reasons why I started self harming. Also, I can't easily get angry as much as I want to, I want to be mean but I can't, and if I could, I would easily be mean to people, but there's something that stops me to I just can't get angry at all with people.
Does anyone has an explanation to this? I would be so happy to hear it.

 

[astr4]

anger can be a pretty overwhelming emotion, do you remember getting angry ever as a toddler? was your family angry? i feel like we all model ourselves after whoever socialized us first, so that could be a contributing factor. maybe you learned to repress the anger so it doesn't come out. it sure does sound brutal, though, must be very frustrating to be unable to express your true feelings.

 

[lainsito]

anger can be a pretty overwhelming emotion, do you remember getting angry ever as a toddler? was your family angry? i feel like we all model ourselves after whoever socialized us first, so that could be a contributing factor. maybe you learned to repress the anger so it doesn't come out. it sure does sound brutal, though, must be very frustrating to be unable to express your true feelings.i di

anger can be a pretty overwhelming emotion, do you remember getting angry ever as a toddler? was your family angry? i feel like we all model ourselves after whoever socialized us first, so that could be a contributing factor. maybe you learned to repress the anger so it doesn't come out. it sure does sound brutal, though, must be very frustrating to be unable to express your true feelings.

I don't remember at all, I barely remember my childhood lol. And that's weird, because I don't remember my parents being really angry at me in me childhood, nor me ever getting angry.

 

[MissAbyss]

Crying when you're angry usually isn't weakness, it's your body's automatic stress response. If you grew up dealing with bullying, conflict, or environments where anger felt unsafe or didn't work, your nervous system may have learned to switch from anger to tears as protection. Because of that, you struggle to express anger outwardly, and it sometimes turns inward (like self-harm). It's not your fault, it's a learned coping pattern, not a character flaw, and it can be changed with healthier ways to express anger and set boundaries.

I wish you all the strenght!