I really am at a loss

[Polly]

I've been out if work fir three years.

I've been having phone screens and some face to face video interviews pretty steadily.
About every other month I get all the way to the final round judt to not get the job.
Now I'm so punch drunk thst I'm just going through the motions in these interviews.
I really wish I could end everything. I dint see how this can possibly have a good outcome. But instead I just hover in constant aginy and despair.
if I'd know this was going to be the outcome three years ago I wiykd have caught the bus when I was stronger.
Sirry fir all the whining. It's become a horrific day.

 

[Flippy]

I'm sorry that the interviews don't work out. I've been there many times myself. It can really shake you when you are feeling low. Maybe you need to take a break from the interviews for a while? At least if your situation allows it. I hope you will have better luck :-)

 

[Ghost2211]

I'm sorry you're going through this. It really sucks how financially dependent Society makes us on functioning, and how hard it is to get work even when they really want to get a job. Is there perhaps another long do you could consider?

 

[Polly]

I'm sorry you're going through this. It really sucks how financially dependent Society makes us on functioning, and how hard it is to get work even when they really want to get a job. Is there perhaps another long do you could consider?

I've considered everything remotely related to my experience.

And it's pointless to take a break. I would need a year long break at this point and by then I will be dead in the street-not even needing to ctb

 

[Ghost2211]

I've considered everything remotely related to my experience.

And it's pointless to take a break. I would need a year long break at this point and by then I will be dead in the street-not even needing to ctb

I can see how extended time off wouldn't work. If you can't find anything within you qualifications is there any other line of work that would interest you? Is moving to a location where your skills are more in demand be possible?

 

[Flippy]

I've considered everything remotely related to my experience.

And it's pointless to take a break. I would need a year long break at this point and by then I will be dead in the street-not even needing to ctb

I'm sorry you can't take a break. :-( It's sad that the world makes us obliged to work when we feel the least capable. I'm struggling to find anything more positive to say. I seem to be a bit low on positivity today :-(

 

[WhiteEyes]

Can you do voluntary work anywhere to build something? Sorry if that sounds offensive. I can't even apply for anything myself.

 

[Polly]

Can you do voluntary work anywhere to build something? Sorry if that sounds offensive. I can't even apply for anything myself.

I've been volunteering like mad and all that has dine us sao my strength

 

[Thereisnothing]

Hi Polly, I wonder what sort of work you have done before and what you might be looking for? it must be SO disheartening. I cant work due to multiple life long and life limiting illnesses and really have been sad all my adult life so far as not had chance to work and earn my living and build a career.
You mention about you should have CTB when you were stronger, but sweetheart if you were stronger at one point then mightn't have been your time to CTB, as it might not be now. I know and appreciate how awful and hell and agony life/existence can be, yet I am still here, maybe foolishly so, although on other hand, maybe I am here still as I am supposed to be. Very hard to see any wood for the trees isn't it, but I think if we can just find one tiny glimmer among the dark, like size of a speck of glitter, then we maybe able to find a bigger speck, so on and so forth. There must be light as without light we cant have darkness and vice versa. Life can be so cruel, so very very cruel.

 

[Polly]

Hi Polly, I wonder what sort of work you have done before and what you might be looking for? it must be SO disheartening. I cant work due to multiple life long and life limiting illnesses and really have been sad all my adult life so far as not had chance to work and earn my living and build a career.
You mention about you should have CTB when you were stronger, but sweetheart if you were stronger at one point then mightn't have been your time to CTB, as it might not be now. I know and appreciate how awful and hell and agony life/existence can be, yet I am still here, maybe foolishly so, although on other hand, maybe I am here still as I am supposed to be. Very hard to see any wood for the trees isn't it, but I think if we can just find one tiny glimmer among the dark, like size of a speck of glitter, then we maybe able to find a bigger speck, so on and so forth. There must be light as without light we cant have darkness and vice versa. Life can be so cruel, so very very cruel.

I'm really really tired of trying to make a life on one glimmer. It's worn thin.

 

[WhiteEyes]

I've been volunteering like mad and all that has dine us sao my strength

It sucks when everything we do to get better to stay alive seems to weaken us.

 

[NextBusLeaving]

Ive gotten brutally honest and open in my interviews and it has worked this year lol

 

[Thereisnothing]

I'm really really tired of trying to make a life on one glimmer. It's worn thin.

I know and whatever I say will probably sound like am patronising you (dont meant to) but a few seconds ago i didn't think I could get through the next minute........yet I am here still typing this to you...........got another hour to get through..........how do we do it...........I guess we do somehow and often we dont even know we have until we realize the time has gone by. Is there anything that you get a little bit of comfort from right now, and I dont mean anything big or significant just something very small to start with. I put on my fleece rabbit dressing gown just now as felt so sad and despairing, only a tiny thing and its not changed my life, but giving me a little comfort nonetheless. Do you have a pet to cuddle/talk to or someone you live with or could talk to? I am totally alone in the outside world, so have noone only here to listen and give me strength. I often feel with this place I may well have gone by now, its a lifeline.
Maybe treat yourself to something you enjoy eating or a small clip on Youtube, just something very small.

 

[Polly]

Ive gotten brutally honest and open in my interviews and it has worked this year lol

What brutally honest things have been working for you? Maybe they would work fir me.

 

[Flippy]

If I ever get to the point where I can do interview again I'm going to interview them. If I don't like what I hear or they BS me I will get up and walk out. I'm sick of the lies employers tell. Like it's some sort of wonderful clubhouse where you don't really feel like you're working at all. Then you find they are a bunch of arseholes who bait and switched on you. They just wanted a new victim to bully around.

 

[NextBusLeaving]

What brutally honest things have been working for you? Maybe they would work fir me.

I am just open about my own struggles and goals. My reasons for wanting a job etc. "Hey, my wife is leaving me so I need to get my own house. Its rough but what can you do?" Type stuff. Picture "Office Space" when Peter has to reinterview for his own job.

In your case I might say "yes i have been unemployed the last three years, because of mental health (or whatever) but I am trying to get back out there now and I appreciate the interview."

I told my most recent employer "look, i almost died 3 years ago and wasnt supposed to recover. Whether you give me a job or not, the fact that I am aboveground having this interview is a win for me."

 

[Flippy]

I am just open about my own struggles and goals. My reasons for wanting a job etc. "Hey, my wife is leaving me so I need to get my own house. Its rough but what can you do?" Type stuff. Picture "Office Space" when Peter has to reinterview for his own job.

In your case I might say "yes i have been unemployed the last three years, because of mental health (or whatever) but I am trying to get back out there now and I appreciate the interview."

I told my most recent employer "look, i almost died 3 years ago and wasnt supposed to recover. Whether you give me a job or not, the fact that I am aboveground having this interview is a win for me."

Office Space is such a good film! That's basically what I mean when I say I will interview them! Lol! I don't know if I will ever get to that point though :-/

 

[Jean4]

I feel you. I know how difficult it is to find a job. I had to go outside of my field to find something. I don't know what you do, but have you thought about something like customer service? You don't need a specific degree or qualifications for that.

 

[NextBusLeaving]

Office Space is such a good film! That's basically what I mean when I say I will interview them! Lol! I don't know if I will ever get to that point though :-/

It is sooo good lol.

 

[Lostandfound7]

I've been out if work fir three years.

I've been having phone screens and some face to face video interviews pretty steadily.
About every other month I get all the way to the final round judt to not get the job.
Now I'm so punch drunk thst I'm just going through the motions in these interviews.
I really wish I could end everything. I dint see how this can possibly have a good outcome. But instead I just hover in constant aginy and despair.
if I'd know this was going to be the outcome three years ago I wiykd have caught the bus when I was stronger.
Sirry fir all the whining. It's become a horrific day.

I TOTALLY feel u.its been the same for me for the past yr. Filling out literally hundreds of applications,getting called,spending $ to get to interview, "selling" yourself,hearing how "great" the interview went,getting high hopes,then getting the script email of how even though u were a "great candidate" they found someone else..it's can be extremely discouraging n really knock u down. I keep telling myself that every "no" is bringing me closer to the "yes". Hold on my friend. Just breathe,recalibrate,n get back out there. Sometimes shut doors r also a blessing n answer to prayers..Right now I am just trying to find my passion n figure how to put that to work for me..Hold on...sending love

 

[Polly]

I feel you. I know how difficult it is to find a job. I had to go outside of my field to find something. I don't know what you do, but have you thought about something like customer service? You don't need a specific degree or qualifications for that.

Not enough money to live on but enough to kick me off Medicaid. I'm chained by catch-22s and this is one of them.

 

[Lostandfound7]

Not enough money to live on but enough to kick me off Medicaid. I'm chained by catch-22s and this is one of them.

It's so rough..Having a pretty hard day myself..Trying to stay encouraged while I encourage u..

 

[Jean4]

Not enough money to live on but enough to kick me off Medicaid. I'm chained by catch-22s and this is one of them.

Ah. USA, and Medicaid. I have Medicare and am on Disability. I was not elligible for Medicaid. Then how about thinking outside the box? Selling Tupperware, Avon etc. I know people who do that for a living.

 

[Flippy]

It is! It shows you what happens when you cast off your "obligations" and live for what makes you happy! "Human beings were not supposed to spend their lives in little cubicals" . It also shows just how divorced from reality people's view of what makes someone a hard worker. :-)

 

[Deleted member 1465]

At interviews I was always honest with them and admitted weaknesses or lack of experience but found a way to put a positive spin on it.
The difficult questions they ask are pretty standard. You can personalise your answers and allow your weaknesses to become your strengths.
Everyone has flaws and weaknesses. They don't want to find a person who is flawless, they want to find someone with flaws that they have figured out how to overcome.
For example, I was always short tempered at work. I came to accept this and put more effort into treating people with respect. I also tried to accommodate others who were short tempered cus I understood how they felt.
Maybe non of this applies to you, just relating my experience in the hope it might help.

 

[Polly]

I've hesitate to reply to this thread because I know everyone is trying to be open and supportive.

However, the ve been living on the smallest crumbs of my previous life. Now they only serve to remind me of what I am missing.

I've explored all sorts of out if the box solutions with no success. The catch 22 still applies.

And it's been 3 years. I'm ground down to dust.

I'm trying to control my SI because the only option I have left is to be done.

 

[Backwood_tilt]

I've hesitate to reply to this thread because I know everyone is trying to be open and supportive.

Folks here will support your decision if you decide to CTB, too.

I think the general concern is weeding out people who have a real chance to live from those who are dead-set on CTBing. It sounds like you are still trying very hard to make things better, and i certainly would not want you to lose that drive.

I know you are going through a very tough time. I am really sorry to hear about it.

 

[Polly]

I would be trying very hard to make things better if I could see any way to do so

 

[Polly]

Well I've decided to quit my major clustersf^cjk of a volunteer organization through the UN. The leader has ni clue and us both intrusive and demeaning. It has brought me nothing in terms of job opportunities which was the original intent.

if I'm going to ctb anyway why bother. Ar least let me be spared this.