Venting I reached out. It makes me want to ctb more. no one really cares

[peewee]

ive been reaching out for months, i can confirm no one really cares. I mostly ended up ignored, cut off, or 'set boundaries' with. first time ive ever been in a crisis and needed support from friends. everyone's abandoned me or doesn't really want to be there for me, they also know i have alreadt attempted to ctb recently, multiple times recently. my sn will be arriving soon. this whole nightmare will be over and i know people will pretend to be sad but in reality they will be glad im dead.

 

[Lady_V]

Reaching out to people after a traumatic car accident and being left on read by multiple people I thought were friends was a whole different type of trauma. How are people so lucky in life they find friends who actually care?

 

[NoHorizon]

I feel this. People always say to talk; until you talk and then they don't want to know.

 

[peewee]

Reaching out to people after a traumatic car accident and being left on read by multiple people I thought were friends was a whole different type of trauma. How are people so lucky in life they find friends who actually care?

thats so awful im so sorry that happened to you. idk, i find that even if they care it doesnt last long. all my 'friends' either lashed out at me for being selfish for reaching out and stressing them out i suppose by me being honest i am suicidal and traumatized and isolated and need to be able to text/call occasioanlly. or straight up ignored/cut off, or told to essentilly pull myself together and stop 'relying' on others even though i literally am completely isolated cant see them in person and bascially only message a little. it makes me so upset and angry. it literally doesnt mean shit to people if they know you just tried to ctb and your isolated and desperate for friendship and some kind of support. ive acually mostly been met with coldness and hostility. when i die idk i dont think they will care at all.

I feel this. People always say to talk; until you talk and then they don't want to know.

its literally changed my whole perception of suicide. i couldnt belive it. i thought people would actually care if your life itself is at stake. but no. everyone is really only going to pretend for a few minutes they care when you fnally go through with it. no one cares when it comes down to it