Boudika

Boudika

Trauma? Oh you mean reason why I'm hilarious
Aug 22, 2023
155
I didn't play the piano for long because my mother made me hate music (she beat me when I played badly, forced me to continue music school even though I didn't want to). Today I sat down and played a song I played maybe 8 years ago. My parents said that I was pathetic, that I only remembered so much and that I should be ashamed of myself. I won't touch the piano again, that's for sure, but how can I deal with this tightness in my chest and the tears welling up in my eyes? Why does it hurt me, I don't care about their opinion. So why I want to cry so badly?
I think I will postpone the CTB plan from tomorrow to today. I feel like shit.
Edit: My comfort person said my parents were right. I honestly have never felt such mental pain before
 
Last edited:
  • Hugs
Reactions: VioletNight, briarrose, cgrtt.brns and 8 others
Aim

Aim

šŸ¤
Sep 12, 2023
945
I didn't play the piano for long because my mother made me hate music (she beat me when I played badly, forced me to continue music school even though I didn't want to). Today I sat down and played a song I played maybe 8 years ago. My parents said that I was pathetic, that I only remembered so much and that I should be ashamed of myself. I won't touch the crowing again, that's for sure, but how can I deal with this tightness in my chest and the tears welling up in my eyes? Why does it hurt me, I don't care about their opinion. So why I want to cry so badly?
I think I will postpone the CTB plan from tomorrow to today. I feel like shit.
This is horribel. I wish you good things ā¤ļø
 
  • Like
  • Love
Reactions: NPCaesar, Boudika and darkenmydoorstep
Siderly

Siderly

Member
Oct 15, 2022
39
That was cruel and evil. I am appalled that they could see themselves as 'mother' and 'comfort person'
Your 'mother' and your 'comfort person' have betrayed you. You are a much better and already a more successful person than they could ever be
 
  • Like
  • Love
Reactions: Immensevoid, Boudika and Faith_No_more
F

Faith_No_more

Member
Sep 30, 2023
20
Why do people have kids if they're just going to abuse them? so sorry. Hugs
 
  • Love
Reactions: Boudika
FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
38,856
That is just so cruel and horrible, it really disgusts me how humans create so much suffering. But anyway I wish you the best with your plans.
 
  • Like
  • Love
Reactions: Rogue Proxy and Boudika
Blue Elephant

Blue Elephant

Mage
Sep 22, 2023
519
I didn't play the piano for long because my mother made me hate music (she beat me when I played badly, forced me to continue music school even though I didn't want to). Today I sat down and played a song I played maybe 8 years ago. My parents said that I was pathetic, that I only remembered so much and that I should be ashamed of myself. I won't touch the crowing again, that's for sure, but how can I deal with this tightness in my chest and the tears welling up in my eyes? Why does it hurt me, I don't care about their opinion. So why I want to cry so badly?
I think I will postpone the CTB plan from tomorrow to today. I feel like shit.
Edit: My comfort person said my parents were right. I honestly have never felt such mental pain before
Alright, please don't stress! Hear me out! Let's assume they (your parents) were.. right. Let's assume you were.. pathetic, at playing piano. It doesn't matter! It's normal! You haven't played for ages, how can you be good at it!? And playing piano is not easy. Maybe they should try it, I'm sure they're not at all pathetic. Whatever you're doing in life, if you want to be good at it you need to practice. You are NOT pathetic, you are maybe out of practice and they are pathetic for not managing their expectations and thinking they would to listen to a Vivaldi symphony. Did they at least give some constructive criticism?

OR they (your parents) were evil on purpose. Maybe you were good and they just wanted to be mean to you.

Anyway, it doesn't really matter what they think, it matters what you think, how you feel when you play. I don't think you should play for them anymore, I think you should play for yourself.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Moburin 29
Valky

Valky

Petulant Child
Apr 4, 2023
1,322
Fuck your parents and fuck your friend then. Music is something that should be enjoyed, forcing anyone to hate it in such a way is just straight out abuse. I am sorry for the way they reacted. I am really proud that you build up the courage to play again after so many years and constant belittling. I wish for you to be able to enjoy music again one time, wherever you will be <3
 
  • Like
Reactions: Blue Elephant and Moburin 29
Moburin 29

Moburin 29

Just a random background character
Sep 17, 2023
39
It's so sad that such potentialy wonderful experience can be ruined with such unnecessary cruelty.
Anyway, it doesn't really matter what they think, it matters what you think, how you feel when you play. I don't think you should play for them anymore, I think you should play for yourself.
I agree with this fella. Do you have an opportunity to play piano while your parents are not around? It could be fun at least once to get angry and say "oh f*ck it, good or not, I am playing that!", you know?

If even after all these years of abuse there is still some wish in you, maybe its worth a shot.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Blue Elephant
Boudika

Boudika

Trauma? Oh you mean reason why I'm hilarious
Aug 22, 2023
155
It's so sad that such potentialy wonderful experience can be ruined with such unnecessary cruelty.

I agree with this fella. Do you have an opportunity to play piano while your parents are not around? It could be fun at least once to get angry and say "oh f*ck it, good or not, I am playing that!", you know?

If even after all these years of abuse there is still some wish in you, maybe its worth a shot.
Playing the piano isn't my hobby. I wanted to try to go back to the old days and was laughet at. I doubt I will touch any instrument in the next few years, but thanks for the advice.
Fuck your parents and fuck your friend then. Music is something that should be enjoyed, forcing anyone to hate it in such a way is just straight out abuse. I am sorry for the way they reacted. I am really proud that you build up the courage to play again after so many years and constant belittling. I wish for you to be able to enjoy music again one time, wherever you will be <3
Thank you but damage is already done. They destroy my love for this when I was a child and now they only made it worse. I'm not gonna touch piano ever again. Well, at least they can't take away my love for listening music.
Alright, please don't stress! Hear me out! Let's assume they (your parents) were.. right. Let's assume you were.. pathetic, at playing piano. It doesn't matter! It's normal! You haven't played for ages, how can you be good at it!? And playing piano is not easy. Maybe they should try it, I'm sure they're not at all pathetic. Whatever you're doing in life, if you want to be good at it you need to practice. You are NOT pathetic, you are maybe out of practice and they are pathetic for not managing their expectations and thinking they would to listen to a Vivaldi symphony. Did they at least give some constructive criticism?

OR they (your parents) were evil on purpose. Maybe you were good and they just wanted to be mean to you.

Anyway, it doesn't really matter what they think, it matters what you think, how you feel when you play. I don't think you should play for them anymore, I think you should play for yourself.
As I mentioned, playing the piano is not my passion. I wanted to try it and was happy to show that I remembered how to read the notes, however. I was met with laughter and humiliation. It's hard to go back to playing after something like that.
 
Last edited:
  • Aww..
Reactions: Blue Elephant
Moburin 29

Moburin 29

Just a random background character
Sep 17, 2023
39
Playing the piano isn't my hobby. I wanted to try to go back to the old days and was laughet at. I doubt I will touch any instrument in the next few years, but thanks for the advice.

Well if that's the case, than the only thing I can offer is my rage at your parents. But really, sorry that I couldn't be more helpful.

What are your hobbies if you don't mind sharing?
 
  • Yay!
Reactions: Blue Elephant
Boudika

Boudika

Trauma? Oh you mean reason why I'm hilarious
Aug 22, 2023
155
Well if that's the case, than the only thing I can offer is my rage at your parents. But really, sorry that I couldn't be more helpful.

What are your hobbies if you don't mind sharing?
Well, I'm writing fanficts and reading a lot!
Also, a year ago, I used to draw a lot
 
Moburin 29

Moburin 29

Just a random background character
Sep 17, 2023
39
Well, I'm writing fanficts and reading a lot!
Also, a year ago, I used to draw a lot

O hey, it seems we have something in common! Maybe some book suggestions? It seems as such long time since I read some fiction just for fun.
 
Boudika

Boudika

Trauma? Oh you mean reason why I'm hilarious
Aug 22, 2023
155
O hey, it seems we have something in common! Maybe some book suggestions? It seems as such long time since I read some fiction just for fun.
what universes do you like?
 
VioletNight

VioletNight

Student
Jan 24, 2023
113
Your mother and comfort person sound like real horrid people to be around. I hope you can find others who care about you and don't put you down.

You don't deserve the beratement and them saying that is just a testament to how cruel they are, it doesn't reflect on you at all.
 

Similar threads

oysa
Replies
8
Views
505
Suicide Discussion
oysa
oysa
Szarur-abi
Replies
3
Views
217
Recovery
Abbadab
Abbadab
strawberrydino
Replies
3
Views
271
Suicide Discussion
swankysoup
swankysoup
Nonno_Eek
Replies
4
Views
289
Suicide Discussion
Nonno_Eek
Nonno_Eek