i need some tips on how to pretend to be okay

[gardenfairy]

i've been trying but it's really hard for me to break down. i'm not a person who can easily self-soothe and i really hate dealing with things alone but it's gotten to a point where i need to shut myself up. i know that i don't want to talk about it, and i never intend to, but still i have this agonising need to be understood and it usually wins out. i just need some tips to not break down when im with someone i love or when someone asks if im okay. im fine with saving it for later when im alone or whatever like i know i wont rid myself of it completely and thats fine, i just want to stop burdening people with it.

 

[Grasp of darkness]

Maybe talking about it with other people can help relieve pressure so you don't break down when you're with people you love? Bottling things up isn't good and doesn't really work. Just 'trying harder' to not break down will just result in an eventual, even more intense breakdown. Preferably you'd have someone in real life that you trust to talk about with, but if not you're in the right place to let go of some accumulated stress.

 

[vinicuit]

it's very hard to pretend to be okay for a long-time period, even more because it won't go away, it will only get worse silently. I have experienced it before, and when i realized i was screaming with the ones i loved... in the end, it's very hard to shut down everything when you feel too much all the time

i would tell you to try some coping mechanisms to deal with your feelings without making them overwhelming, and honestly it's okay to be vulnerable around the ones you love

 

[Secro]

Talking helps; there are also people who are happy to help or simply listen.

 

[LRkin]

It may not be the best idea, considering that you already have to pretend to be okay, but you can use some mental gymnastics. Just imagine that you're an actor and playing a role. Don't read too much into what people say or ask. It's not you who talk to them. It's a character you portray.
And, just as the other people mentioned before, you need an outlet. Someone to talk to about your true feelings.

 

[SASU-KE]

Ask others if they're OK.

 

[valar_morghulis21]

If u have people who genuinely care and u can trust them then u should open up, intensity varies. If u are like me who trust almost no one and hate when people doing lip service of asking if I'm okay, just lie. Lie about whatever you want. I usually say I'm tired from working (don't even have a job but no one needs to know that) and people would leave me alone. Lying about my eyes look sad and heavy because I couldn't sleep well, and not because I just spent hours of researching how to kill myself with a gunshot inside mouth. But this method would require you feel so empty and numb inside. I have lost all the desire to be loved and understood so I can do it easily.

 

[auti]

I just use my negative coping skills to keep it together lol