Venting I need any advice on how to maintain relationships.

[Flickiy]

Hey everyone, I'm new here and I noticed there's a recovery field, I was wondering how you guys maintain any sort of friendships or relationships? for me, it's easy to say to communicate, but I don't know how exactly to communicate, what if I'm scared of them rejecting me? Getting connections is hard enough, but maintaining them in an active way is another difficulty, people obviously can't read my thoughts or how I'm feeling, so I'm curious as to what I'm supposed to do, I don't want to be alone, and a depressed loser all my life, I just hope there's anything that you guys recommend.

 

[dreaming]

I'm new too, I'm not really sure where to start when trying to connect with someone, being an instigator feels awkward and forced for me.
I'm used to the "don't speak until your spoken to" thought process.

 

[derpyderpins]

As I've gotten older, I say a lot more "corny" or "embarassing" stuff to the friends I really care about.

Part of it is getting past that initial stage where you are, eg, friends to play the same video game or some other common interest. But once you have some talks about feelings or personal stuff, you can say "hey, I'm nervous about communicating properly, but I'd like for us to stay close friends. So, please tell me if there's anything I should be doing differently."

I find that "depressed losers" tend to get along with other people who have at least felt depression and can understand it. Even if they don't seem like it, you'll be surprised what you find out if you are the first one to open up, because they're likely scared and holding some things in just like you.

 

[SnaileyBailey]

A lot of making friends is finding and filtering people. It can be exhausting but you eventually find someone you can be blunt enough with, without having to "read their mind".

 

[thermosgrenadine]

A lot of making friends is finding and filtering people. It can be exhausting but you eventually find someone you can be blunt enough with, without having to "read their mind".

seconding this. it's helped me a lot to be picky with what i say to who and choosing people i become closer with

also don't be afraid to embarrass yourself. we all do it. we're all cringey and weird, even the coolest people you know have fucked up socially