Venting i miss the people who used to be on this site when I first joined

[katara]

the chat used to be so alive and everyone there was interesting. Everything feels less alive now, more drama, less jokes. I've always felt like an OutKast on here and now even more, I feel like people just make accounts from that stupid YouTube video. They didn't find this site from searching for a safe place to talk about dark thoughts, they joined bc of a troll YouTube video. And with that, there's more troll-like people. Maybe I'm just getting older. I feel like everything really just gets worse as time goes on. All the best people commit suicide, and the worst people stay and try to start problems because they aren't here for the same reason.

TLDR: IM OLDER

 

[SomewhereAlongThe]

Do you remember Queer? They kept the chat alive and booming. I remember Alessa too, and Billie along with Cali. The good old days :(

 

[406cap]

Did they succeed at ctb?

 

[katara]

Do you remember Queer? They kept the chat alive and booming. I remember Alessa too, and Billie along with Cali. The good old days :(

All that comes to my mind is queer melancholy. I'm not sure if I know those others. Maybe I knew them and just forgot. But ya, it just feels weird. I shouldn't still be here. I was feeling nostalgic because there's this stupid clique in the chat now, there was never anything like that before. I miss the original people who actually made this site something I felt like logging on for. I'm starting to lose it Why do the good people die? It's so unfair. they were just replaced by people 100x worse.

 

[Upon a hanging Body]

This is a suicide forum so people are going to most likely commit suicide, sometimes people get better and move on with their lives too.

I've lost a lot of decent friends on here and as much as I'd like to message them again , they did what they wanted and found peace.

 

[katara]

Did they succeed at ctb?

I'm not sure, we didn't talk off this site. I'm sure some may have improved and left. Idk, I just wish I could have left too. I got called a bitch and other rude stuff earlier, that wasn't a problem a year ago. I just feel like that stuff wouldn't have happened before. That's why I'm sad

 

[willitpass]

This is a topic of conversation that comes up every few months on here. It is the nature of a site like this that people will come and go, often rather quickly. People either CTB or go off to try and recover. It's not very common for people to stick around, those that do tend to feel somewhat out of touch because we are the ones who either can't go through with CTB for one reason or another or have failed to do so successfully. But at the same time, this isn't a site for making friends. The dynamic will often shift, but at the end of the day it's meant to. This isn't social media. It isn't X or Instagram. It is a suicide site.

 

[9uerencia]

i feel the same way, OP
even though i only joined back in january (on a different account before it got deactivated), it's still sad seeing people come and go

 

[Quiabo1]

You know... It's quite sad to read this. I'm new here but it sounds like you saw this place evolve, but it is supposed to be transitory, temporary. No one will stay here for too long, nor were they supposed to... either because they try to live on with the things they have left to cling on, or because they'll get to successfully CTB
When I have dark thoughts I also get unproductive at job cause the weight of suicide shatters me, but I still have got to earn something for my family, joking about it makes me clear my head just enough to keep going on.
Eventually I'll get to CTB too

 

[-Link-]

I've always felt like an OutKast on here and now even more

This feeling will be a lot more common among members than what outward appearances might suggest.

You are far from alone in this.

It's not very common for people to stick around, those that do tend to feel somewhat out of touch

Can confirm!

 

[katara]

This is a topic of conversation that comes up every few months on here. It is the nature of a site like this that people will come and go, often rather quickly. People either CTB or go off to try and recover. It's not very common for people to stick around, those that do tend to feel somewhat out of touch because we are the ones who either can't go through with CTB for one reason or another or have failed to do so successfully. But at the same time, this isn't a site for making friends. The dynamic will often shift, but at the end of the day it's meant to. This isn't social media. It isn't X or Instagram. It is a suicide site.

Ya I'm sorry for a generic post. Btw it's nice to see a familiar person I do remember you from way back bc of your pfp. I guess I just had a bad experience today. It seems like people are more mean and rude than usual. It threw me off bc I didn't expect such treatment on a site like this yknow? I wish I was nicer to the nice people, bc now I miss them. I just feel sad bc I can't find any help irl and now I am feeling like I can't come here anymore

 

[mundanejane]

i feel the same way, many i knew are gone bc of ctb or just disappeared… i feel like an outsider even here now ..

 

[katara]

i feel the same way, OP
even though i only joined back in january (on a different account before it got deactivated), it's still sad seeing people come and go

People come and go, I wish I could. I love ur pfp, it's really pretty. I always wondered why we can't take good photos of the moon.

 

[Hellis]

I accidentally set someone off and they took their life later that night. I no longer remember her name, but when I did I would check to see if she ever came back each week. I still would if my brain didn't block it out or whatever

 

[Worndown]

People come here searching for an end.
Some find others that share their issues and learn ways to cope or overcome.
If successful, they move on.
Some find what they were looking for and pass.
A small number return to living under a bridge where all trolls should be.

 

[_Gollum_]

There are definitely people in my "cohort" from when I first joined that I miss: @ijustwishtodie (RIP -- still feel his absence everytime I come on here), @sserafim, @INTJme (RIP), @anhedonya, @ForgottenAgain to name a few

 

[katara]

This feeling will be a lot more common among members than what outward appearances might suggest.

You are far from alone in this.


Can confirm!

Hey I've seen you before in replies to my posts you are very nice to always respond. Thanks for being here. I have been feeling alone bc there were a bunch of rude people in the live chat recently and so I was just wondering where everyone else went. I don't blame them for leaving, everyone has to eventually. I just think being around terrible people can affect us mentally and I wish the terrible people would go. It's hard enough that they exist irl, when I come online I don't want to deal with people trying to start drama and remind me of middle school bullies yknow?

i feel the same way, many i knew are gone bc of ctb or just disappeared… i feel like an outsider even here now ..

I'm sorry to hear that I feel like an outsider too like so many ppl here have jobs, friends, supportive family, it makes me feel like I don't belong here anymore

 

[caramelkidney]

i agree with this. for a long time before creating an account, i lurked this forum, but i would have to take breaks because i kept seeing the same threads over and over again. it made me feel worse and not better.