kipper

kipper

Member
Mar 11, 2023
34
I met him when we were still kids. We dated for 5 years. It's been a year and I thought I came to accept everything but for the past few days I have been hurting about our breakup all over again.

It was a mutual breakup. We were having issues that werent resolving no matter how many converstions were had. After talking things out a last time, we decided we have just grown to have different needs that we couldnt give each other.

I miss him though and still love him. I didnt just lose a lover, I lost a best friend. We still talk sometimes but we arent close like before, our chats are brief and rare. I miss so much of what we had.

I cant help but feel maybe if I had been able to express myself better maybe things would have gone differently and I would still have him. I feel like I let him down. Like maybe the distance that began to grow was because I didnt approach anything the right way.

Truth is, despite my attempts to move on and despite that I did for a time feel alright, life feels emptier without him. I have experienced so much in this past year that I can say are a positive! But right now, I wish he got to be there with me through it.

There's still so much I wish I did and said but I cant change the past. I dont even know if reaching out and trying to share those things would be worth it, so I havent. I dont want to cause conflict or be that clingy ex who just wont move on. He's respected my boundaries I set even still, I dont want to end up accidentally crossing his... I dont want to end up saying something I cant go back from and have him out of my life entirely. I dont even know if he would want to hear these words I want to say. I dont expect it to bring him back, I think he already has someone else (nothing stated but they act like they're together), I just... want closure, I guess.

I dont know when things will stop hurting. I dont know when I will finally make peace with this for good. It's hard.
 
W

wasted_years

Member
Feb 13, 2024
18
If it makes you feel any better, I'm aromantic and it kills me inside that I'll never be so close to another person that I'll be left feeling like this.
 

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