Method I might attempt on monday

[Jon Arbuckle]

I've been talking a lot about wanting to CTB via firearm, but I feel like I can't take the wait anymore, everything I need to do (wait until my family's guard is down, visit a shooting range so I get at least a little experience with using a firearm etc etc) feels like it could take ages and I don't know if I have the strength to wait that long. I think on Monday I'm going to drive to my community college, find the tallest building I can, and just jump. the only problem is I'm pretty scared of heights and I feel the SI is going to kick in pretty hard, which is exactly why I wanted to CTB with a gun, just seemed like the quickest method. I'm just rambling at this point. I want the guilt to end. I want the feelings of inadequacy to end.

 

[S’mores Poptart]

I've been talking a lot about wanting to CTB via firearm, but I feel like I can't take the wait anymore, everything I need to do (wait until my family's guard is down, visit a shooting range so I get at least a little experience with using a firearm etc etc) feels like it could take ages and I don't know if I have the strength to wait that long. I think on Monday I'm going to drive to my community college, find the tallest building I can, and just jump. the only problem is I'm pretty scared of heights and I feel the SI is going to kick in pretty hard, which is exactly why I wanted to CTB with a gun, just seemed like the quickest method. I'm just rambling at this point. I want the guilt to end. I want the feelings of inadequacy to end.

I completely understand where you're coming from. I too wanted to take the firearm route but with permits and courses and shit I really don't know wtf to do. Even without the suicidal element, I'm too nervous to even go to a class by myself. But jumping doesn't have the best success rate honestly. And it is one of the most painful ways if you survive, or even if you die at the hospital. It can be very traumatic for those on campus as well. I'm not sure what you're going through, but I'd wait on it if possible. Hope you're able to, man.

 

[FuneralCry]

I'm sorry you suffer in this cruel existence, I certainly understand that it's so tiring suffering here. But anyway I wish you all the best in whatever you decide.