I met someone irl who reminds me of SaSu

[Emerita]

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[derpyderpins]

It's great that you have someone to connect with.

I get you on the strangeness. It's a difficult dynamic with wanting to protect the other person but also feeling like you have a rare person who can understand, so you want to let out. Be sure to prioritize yourself, because if you collapse you can't help them.

 

[SASU-KE]

It's difficult to meet people IRL who understand that side of us. It's good to have someone like that in our life. While I have friends, none of them will understand this feeling I have like a lot of the people here do.

That being said you do not have the anonymity and security of an online space like SASU either IRL so just be safe.

But still this is good.empathetic friends who can understand us help a lot and make us feel a lot less alone.

 

[eggsausagerice]

I want to ask him if I can ctb with him, he's suicidal too but that would make me the instigator though. I have so much knowledge about suicide that idk if there's almost a power dynamic, though he is a decade older than me. But I really want to do this, I want to die and I could with him if he wants a partner. Idk if thats fucked up…

i've thought about this with certain people in my life that are going through similar rough patches like me, but i don't think i've ever talked to someone sasu-suicidal. there would def be a power dynamic between me and someone else if they aren't an avid sasu user because they probably barely know anything about ctb methods or sn. it'd probably feel so awkward to explain sn to somebody that doesn't already know about it and that you've spent hours and hours researching it and reading about it.

 

[Emerita]

i've thought about this with certain people in my life that are going through similar rough patches like me, but i don't think i've ever talked to someone sasu-suicidal. there would def be a power dynamic between me and someone else if they aren't an avid sasu user because they probably barely know anything about ctb methods or sn. it'd probably feel so awkward to explain sn to somebody that doesn't already know about it and that you've spent hours and hours researching it and reading about it.

Yeah, the thing is, I just talked to him recently, and something changed. I don't know if he is really as suicidal anymore. I don't think I can ask him about ctbing. It feels wrong. He is like an amateur to this. I think me being high, wanting to die soon and wanting someone to connect with one last time made me project something. He hasn't experienced the level of obsession for suicide to my degree. As horrible as this sounds, I'm sad now. I cried in the shower, realizing that I'm actually more alone than I thought. Funny that the glimmer of something nice I had was still towards dying and now it's gone and I feel awful. I think I need to gently back away from him, Im scared that I may be a bad influence for his psyche.

 

[eggsausagerice]

I think I need to gently back away from him, Im scared that I may be a bad influence for his psyche.

i agree if you're worried you might influence him to be more suicidal. i can't talk to people that are trying to be in recovery or want to make their lives better because i feel really guilty wanting to talk about how i still want to kill myself. it's very hard to distance myself from my suicidal thoughts if i used to discuss them in the past. it's really admirable that you have the self awareness to see that you shouldn't push him to become more depressed, even if it makes you sad. it's much harder to do the right thing and leave people alone. even people on sasu have varying levels of suicidality that make me feel guilty that i could be encouraging them.