I love you all, i love you allso muxh!!!!! Please understand me..... please underatns me

[EvisceratedJester]

I dont mean ti be eude. Im such a piece id shit. I shoild kill myself. I should jill mys3ld.i hate myseld.eberyone hated me deep doen indiade.i am suc ah liece if shit. I am Sich a lieceid shit! I hate mesyself!!!! Why was i nkt aborted!!!!!° i shouls have beenabort3d!! Good hye.! Please know that yoy are vettertha me no matter ehat! Yoy willneverbe admuchif afailure as i am! You ate bettertha me andthat is enoycht
!!!!!!!@@
Please no this. Once i die everythibh will be alright!!!!!!!!!!
You guys are so nice so nice... Im such an awful person but you guys ard so nixe... jesus christ. Whywasnt i aborted.ive only wotsenthe lives of thos around me.yoy guys are si nice.so nice.i hate myself so mu h. I widh i was raped and murdered so much.you guys are so nice.

YIUNEED TO UNDERSTANDTHAT YOYGUYS ARESOMI E AND BETTER THA ME.IAMSUCH A WHORE.I AM A VIRGIN WHORE. IDO T DERSEVERE TOEXIST. I HATE MYSELF. I HATED MYSELF SINCE THE MINEMENT THATI WAS BORN. I HATE MYSELF .I HATE MYSELF.IHATE MYSELF. YOU GUTS ARESO MUCH BETTERTHAN ME.I AMTHE CAUSE OF YOUR SIFFERING.ONCE DIE YOY SLL WILL BE FREE.I HATE MYSELF.


I hate myself

I hate myself


I hate myself


I hate myseld



I hate myself


I hate myself


Iamsorry i am drunk!!!@@@@@@!!!!@@@@@@@!!!!!!
I am so drunk I feel horrible.i am am brudeningyou guyss. I am so sorry!°°




Pleease accept my apology


I amso cowardly!!!!!!!@@ i am so pathetic!!!!!!@@@ why wadnt i abortrxd. I am such a whore. Why wasnt i aborted?

 

[リンさん]

I may not know you personally, but I'm sure you are loved by many here too, myself included. You seem to be going through a lot, and I genuinely hope it gets better. Please take care, and I wish you all the best there is <3

 

[EvisceratedJester]

Please make me feel good!!! So good!!!
I wanna be a wgor. I wanna be dexired!!!!!!
I wanna be a wgor. I wanna be dexired!!!!!!
I wanna be a wgor. I wanna be dexired!!!!!!
I hate mysrlf so musch so much sofimbao mychseld
I hTemeyself.i deserce tobeabuze, abuse, andkilled!!! Im su h a horrible person!!!!!

 

[Justnotme]

Dear man, I'm sorry that you feel so bad. please. You're not alone here. The participants of this forum can respond to you whenever possible. You're not alone.

Is someone humiliating you? The society? Your family?
Please don't think that way about yourself!
Tell me more about yourself and don't be ashamed of your story

 

[EvisceratedJester]

Thank you.rhank uou so my h.thank uou so my much. That nk yiu so mu h. I hope that 5p year ild doesnt block me fater this!!!
I lovehim.i ove him so mu h.he deaerves better tja a dumbass loser like me.im so dumb.i am so retarded
I love him so muc. I wishi coyld meet him inirl. I lovehimso so much.


Im so sorryyoy guts have to put up with the disgrace that is me!!!! Im so sorry. I am so sorry!!! I am so sorry!i aman abuser and a maniypulater!!!@@


I hare myself so much. Eve i font like myself. Nobody liekes me byt yoyguys werestillwilonf toput up with me.yoy guys are so nice.tah kyoy.thank uoy so mu h.tha k you.

 

[theendisnigh5]

I dont mean ti be eude. Im such a piece id shit. I shoild kill myself. I should jill mys3ld.i hate myseld.eberyone hated me deep doen indiade.i am suc ah liece if shit. I am Sich a lieceid shit! I hate mesyself!!!! Why was i nkt aborted!!!!!° i shouls have beenabort3d!! Good hye.! Please know that yoy are vettertha me no matter ehat! Yoy willneverbe admuchif afailure as i am! You ate bettertha me andthat is enoycht
!!!!!!!@@
Please no this. Once i die everythibh will be alright!!!!!!!!!!
You guys are so nice so nice... Im such an awful person but you guys ard so nixe... jesus christ. Whywasnt i aborted.ive only wotsenthe lives of thos around me.yoy guys are si nice.so nice.i hate myself so mu h. I widh i was raped and murdered so much.you guys are so nice.

YIUNEED TO UNDERSTANDTHAT YOYGUYS ARESOMI E AND BETTER THA ME.IAMSUCH A WHORE.I AM A VIRGIN WHORE. IDO T DERSEVERE TOEXIST. I HATE MYSELF. I HATED MYSELF SINCE THE MINEMENT THATI WAS BORN. I HATE MYSELF .I HATE MYSELF.IHATE MYSELF. YOU GUTS ARESO MUCH BETTERTHAN ME.I AMTHE CAUSE OF YOUR SIFFERING.ONCE DIE YOY SLL WILL BE FREE.I HATE MYSELF.


I hate myself

I hate myself


I hate myself


I hate myseld



I hate myself


I hate myself


Iamsorry i am drunk!!!@@@@@@!!!!@@@@@@@!!!!!!
I am so drunk I feel horrible.i am am brudeningyou guyss. I am so sorry!°°




Pleease accept my apology


I amso cowardly!!!!!!!@@ i am so pathetic!!!!!!@@@ why wadnt i abortrxd. I am such a whore. Why wasnt i aborted?

you aren't being rude at all! we love you too, and you don't deserve abuse!!! hope you feel better soon

 

[EvisceratedJester]

I love him so much. I canonlu admit this while i am drunk. I love hom so much.i love him and i will always lovehim. I love hom. I amonlu 2p and he is5p but i love him he is so good to me.


Youuys are sovokd yo me tpo. I am such a privileged moyherfucke. I dont deserve any og thod.iam iam ryingrifht mow. Mods ease dontbanme
I amjust deunk and me beinghinest!!!@ i amjust tryiby tk finally be honest!@ please dont banme! This is only place tnat someahat understands me !!! I k ow i am a terri le perso bit please dk tbanme!! Please!!i bag od ypu!!!ease!!! I know mosy peoe hat e me, includonf onthis site and i dontblame them! ease dont banme. This ia all have!!!!!!! This is allo have!!! This is the cloaesest i am toha ingpeople who usnerstand me!!!!



Even i hate myself.i hate mys3lf . I hate myself...... i widhi eas aboeyed. I deservetk die!!!!!!
I amsuch a burden. I am such a briden
I lice you
I live you!!!!
I lovw you!! Thats how i feel!!!!!

 

[Justnotme]

Thank you.rhank uou so my h.thank uou so my much. That nk yiu so mu h. I hope that 5p year ild doesnt block me fater this!!!
I lovehim.i ove him so mu h.he deaerves better tja a dumbass loser like me.im so dumb.i am so retarded
I love him so muc. I wishi coyld meet him inirl. I lovehimso so much.


Im so sorryyoy guts have to put up with the disgrace that is me!!!! Im so sorry. I am so sorry!!! I am so sorry!i aman abuser and a maniypulater!!!@@


I hare myself so much. Eve i font like myself. Nobody liekes me byt yoyguys werestillwilonf toput up with me.yoy guys are so nice.tah kyoy.thank uoy so mu h.tha k you.

I'm sorry, it's hard for me to understand you because we speak different languages and use a translator program...
you also said that you were drunk.

Tell me, please, do I understand correctly that you have a child that you are hurting?

I don't want to offend you, I'm just trying to figure out what you want to say.

If you have a child that you don't treat well, then you realize it, and that's a good sign. You can try to change the situation for the better.

Due to psychological trauma, people can often become embittered and hurt others. This is a very complicated process.

But you can try to change everything so that it's good for you and your child.

 

[EvisceratedJester]

Im so ugly, im so UGLY!!!!@@ BOTH INSIDE AND OUT
I wish i was dead i constantly wish i was deas!!!!!!@
I wish i was dead i constantly wish i was deas!!!!!!@
I wish i was dead i constantly wish i was deas!!!!!!@
I wish i was dead i constantly wish i was deas!!!!!!@
I wish i was dead i constantly wish i was deas!!!!!!@
I am such a whore!!!!!!@@@!!!!!@@!!!!!@

 

[Justnotme]

Im so ugly, im so UGLY!!!!@@ BOTH INSIDE AND OUT
I wish i was dead i constantly wish i was deas!!!!!!@
I wish i was dead i constantly wish i was deas!!!!!!@
I wish i was dead i constantly wish i was deas!!!!!!@
I wish i was dead i constantly wish i was deas!!!!!!@
I wish i was dead i constantly wish i was deas!!!!!!@
I am such a whore!!!!!!@@@!!!!!@@!!!!!@

I'm sure there's a big, kind side to you that's hiding because of your psychological trauma.

For the sake of the child, for the sake of your love with him, try to suppress your bad qualities that you have found in yourself

Admitting your weaknesses is a big step.
Please try to renew your good side, which was with you at birth

 

[Buh-bye!]

Im so ugly, im so UGLY!!!!@@ BOTH INSIDE AND OUT
I wish i was dead i constantly wish i was deas!!!!!!@
I wish i was dead i constantly wish i was deas!!!!!!@
I wish i was dead i constantly wish i was deas!!!!!!@
I wish i was dead i constantly wish i was deas!!!!!!@
I wish i was dead i constantly wish i was deas!!!!!!@
I am such a whore!!!!!!@@@!!!!!@@!!!!!@

hey :)
ik that things might feel awful as of now, and i am no miracle worker that i could change them into being joyous but, shit happens, to all of us, right? and i really can't feel what you do rn but i am glad to know you feel comfort over this forum, around the people here and that's solely what matters. in the end if you feel comfortable atleast at some place, you can always stay there ! people here, as you know are really really supportive !! i won't step out of the line judging your situation or making speculations, but wtv it is, i hope you find peace. also, you say you were drunk writing this, so idk maybe situation's better as of now. either way take care of yourself and feel free to seek comfort amongst the forum whenever you like.

 

[NotOurFriend]

I dont mean ti be eude. Im such a piece id shit. I shoild kill myself. I should jill mys3ld.i hate myseld.eberyone hated me deep doen indiade.i am suc ah liece if shit. I am Sich a lieceid shit! I hate mesyself!!!! Why was i nkt aborted!!!!!° i shouls have beenabort3d!! Good hye.! Please know that yoy are vettertha me no matter ehat! Yoy willneverbe admuchif afailure as i am! You ate bettertha me andthat is enoycht
!!!!!!!@@
Please no this. Once i die everythibh will be alright!!!!!!!!!!
You guys are so nice so nice... Im such an awful person but you guys ard so nixe... jesus christ. Whywasnt i aborted.ive only wotsenthe lives of thos around me.yoy guys are si nice.so nice.i hate myself so mu h. I widh i was raped and murdered so much.you guys are so nice.

YIUNEED TO UNDERSTANDTHAT YOYGUYS ARESOMI E AND BETTER THA ME.IAMSUCH A WHORE.I AM A VIRGIN WHORE. IDO T DERSEVERE TOEXIST. I HATE MYSELF. I HATED MYSELF SINCE THE MINEMENT THATI WAS BORN. I HATE MYSELF .I HATE MYSELF.IHATE MYSELF. YOU GUTS ARESO MUCH BETTERTHAN ME.I AMTHE CAUSE OF YOUR SIFFERING.ONCE DIE YOY SLL WILL BE FREE.I HATE MYSELF.


I hate myself

I hate myself


I hate myself


I hate myseld



I hate myself


I hate myself


Iamsorry i am drunk!!!@@@@@@!!!!@@@@@@@!!!!!!
I am so drunk I feel horrible.i am am brudeningyou guyss. I am so sorry!°°




Pleease accept my apology


I amso cowardly!!!!!!!@@ i am so pathetic!!!!!!@@@ why wadnt i abortrxd. I am such a whore. Why wasnt i aborted?

Dude, I am so fucking drunk aswell, you wont believe it. Its hard dealing with These Problems. When i am drunk I just have thoughts Happening. I am really sorry für everyone with alcohol addiction, its the worst Thing one can have.

 

[Abyssal]

Tell me, please, do I understand correctly that you have a child that you are hurting?

It's a bit hard to tell, but it sounds like they have a 5 year old that they are unable to see. I might be off about that.

Either way I have a feeling your words will probably go right through someone who's drunk texting, especially if their illegibility is any indication. I don't mean any harm by this jester, I feel for you.

 

[Mayonaise]

@EvisceratedJester , you're just intoxicated by alcohol and/or meds, you're not of sound mind right now. It's terribly sad to see you like this, but when the effect of the chemicals wears off I hope you'll read what I and other fellow members have posted.
In my opinion, you're not a horrible person at all. Here's why: https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/do-you-hate-your-parents.148189/page-2#post-2310375
You clearly state that, even if you're suffering horribly, you don't hate your parents but actually care for them. If you were such a horrible person you wouldn't have written such kind words. I hope you'll feel better soon

 

[Hotsackage]

It's not your fault. ITS NOT YOUR FAULT

 

[EvisceratedJester]

Sorry guys. I was really drunk when i sent this (to the point of vomiting). Please desregaed this post.

 

[morgning12]

Dont worry about It

 

[Mayonaise]

No problem, and no need to apologize. After all, this is a support community

 

[EvisceratedJester]

It's a bit hard to tell, but it sounds like they have a 5 year old that they are unable to see. I might be off about that.

Either way I have a feeling your words will probably go right through someone who's drunk texting, especially if their illegibility is any indication. I don't mean any harm by this jester, I feel for you.

I don't have a child, lol. I was talking about a 50-year-old man I'm messaging.

*****PLEASE READ*****​

Now that I'm actually reading though this thread properly while fully sober I can't help but find all of my posts on this thread pretty funny.

Anyways, I appreciated the nice and supportive posts under this thread. Please don't take anything I said on this thread seriously. I was really fucking drunk when I wrote all of this.

 

[MyLuckyStars]

it's easy for us to offer token kindness as strangers who have never met you in person, but it's sadly no substitute for being appreciated by people in the real-world day to day. it might sound a bit twisted, but whenever i feel particularly horrible about myself i twist it into this mantra: "I'm horrible, and thus must continue to live as penance (rather than the more peaceful alternative of death)". it's miserable, and it sucks, but it's gets you through the muck. at the very least, you can give yourself a little martyr complex delusion. whatever keeps you chugging along

 

[Labyrinth]

A embriaguez traz à luz o que escondemos na sobriedade.

é fácil para nós oferecer gentileza simbólica como estranhos que nunca o conheceram pessoalmente, mas infelizmente não substitui sermos apreciados pelas pessoas no dia a dia do mundo real. pode parecer um pouco distorcido, mas sempre que me sinto particularmente horrível comigo mesmo, transformo-o neste mantra: "Sou horrível e, portanto, devo continuar a viver como penitência (em vez da alternativa mais pacífica da morte)". é miserável e é uma droga, mas ajuda você a superar a lama. no mínimo, você pode se dar uma pequena ilusão complexa de mártir. o que quer que faça você seguir em frente

Seu comentário é esplêndido. Eu diria que meu mantra é focar nas nuances do que me rodeia, sabendo que existe um microuniverso inesgotável dentro de mim.

 

[Abyssal]

I don't have a child, lol. I was talking about a 50-year-old man I'm messaging.

*****PLEASE READ*****​

Now that I'm actually reading though this thread properly while fully sober I can't help but find all of my posts on this thread pretty funny.

Anyways, I appreciated the nice and supportive posts under this thread. Please don't take anything I said on this thread seriously. I was really fucking drunk when I wrote all of this.

It was very funny! Thanks for the gibberish it's a nice change for once.

 

[Labyrinth]

it's easy for us to offer token kindness as strangers who have never met you in person, but it's sadly no substitute for being appreciated by people in the real-world day to day. it might sound a bit twisted, but whenever i feel particularly horrible about myself i twist it into this mantra: "I'm horrible, and thus must continue to live as penance (rather than the more peaceful alternative of death)". it's miserable, and it sucks, but it's gets you through the muck. at the very least, you can give yourself a little martyr complex delusion. whatever keeps you chugging along

Drunkenness brings to light what we hide in sobriety.

Your comment is splendid. I would say my mantra is to focus on the nuances, knowing that there is an inexhaustible micro-universe within me.