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ihateittoo

ihateittoo

currently failing at my transition, she/her!!
Jun 9, 2026
72
im pretty drunk right now. i just got a fake id and it feels like heaven. drinking just makes me feel so warm inside, something weed hasnt been able to do in a while. i go through phases where i drink a ton for a few weeks before i stop(mostly cause i run out of money). i cant afford to spend all my money on drinks. i hope i dont fall into another situation. but man this fireball has me feeling gooood. the only time i feel alive or happy is when im on something. ill never get sober, this is the only way i can get through the day. i have been trapezing on the tightrope of addiction for a while, still functioning normally in life just always high. i would spend all my days in bed crying without weed. i could not care less if its killing me. sometimes i fantasize about getting lung cancer and then not getting treatment. i think i fantasize a lot about scenarios that involve me being a victim because i love being pitied and seen as a victim. i think i love when people view me as helpless and pathetic. thats embaressing to admit but i think its important to be honest with yourself about your behaviors. i have a lot of bad attention seeking behaviors i need to work on.
 
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L

LostHighway

Experienced
May 5, 2025
200
im pretty drunk right now. i just got a fake id and it feels like heaven. drinking just makes me feel so warm inside, something weed hasnt been able to do in a while. i go through phases where i drink a ton for a few weeks before i stop(mostly cause i run out of money). i cant afford to spend all my money on drinks. i hope i dont fall into another situation. but man this fireball has me feeling gooood. the only time i feel alive or happy is when im on something. ill never get sober, this is the only way i can get through the day. i have been trapezing on the tightrope of addiction for a while, still functioning normally in life just always high. i would spend all my days in bed crying without weed. i could not care less if its killing me. sometimes i fantasize about getting lung cancer and then not getting treatment. i think i fantasize a lot about scenarios that involve me being a victim because i love being pitied and seen as a victim. i think i love when people view me as helpless and pathetic. thats embaressing to admit but i think its important to be honest with yourself about your behaviors. i have a lot of bad attention seeking behaviors i need to work on.
Well, at least you admit you need to work on them. if you like playing the victim you will be a victim. Maya Angelou's quote keeps coming to mind: We teach people how to treat us.
 
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Lost in a Dream

Lost in a Dream

He/him - Metal head
Feb 22, 2020
2,134
I love drinking too. I love my whiskey and beer because I hate being sober. I still use weed too, but it feels even better when mixed with alcohol for a much stronger buzz. I prefer edibles over smoking when it comes to weed because I don't cough as much. Coughing just sucks in general and isn't fun which is the reason why.

What kind of drinks do you like?
 
ihateittoo

ihateittoo

currently failing at my transition, she/her!!
Jun 9, 2026
72
I love drinking too. I love my whiskey and beer because I hate being sober. I still use weed too, but it feels even better when mixed with alcohol for a much stronger buzz. I prefer edibles over smoking when it comes to weed because I don't cough as much. Coughing just sucks in general and isn't fun which is the reason why.

What kind of drinks do you like?
fireball or 4loko to get me fucked up. mikes hard lemonade if im hanging out with girls and pbr if im hanging out with guys. if theyre non binary we drink 4loko cause they get down hard, sometimes i cant keep up
 
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