Help i lost all my capacity to hang myself and i idk if go with partial or full hangin

[letmeseethedeath]

hi y'all
i want to thank all SS members for making me feel like i'm in a family for all these years
i'm suffering a lot and i know my existence is awful and meaningless
i tried so hard these years, i tried to recover, i've been on antidepressants but at the end i lost everything and i lost the girl i still love and i tried to move on but i'm really stuck
i lost all the info here to how hang properly because i don't want to fail
i read that there are some tests i should do like the pressure test etc, can someone explain how? i have a belt to hang and a scarf, it would be too suspicious if i go to a store to buy a rope
thank you all in advance

 

[Aphid]

I'm proud of you for holding on for so long. Despite everything I know that this is a really hard step, please be kind on yourself as you go through this. Make sure whatever you're using squeezed tightly enough around the base of your neck to make you begin to feel feint or begin to make all sound fade out. Tie a slip knot or if you're using a belt make sure it's secure, it's never too late to turn around. Don't forget that. There's no shame in backing down, or staying just a few extra days. Going to the psych ward, or getting more extreme medical intervention and treatment is always available, even if it's fundamentally useless, it's a good idea at least to keep yourself safe for a couple of days. If you survive your attempt if you choose to, please talk to a medical professional or someone who can assist with making sure you're okay.