NormaJeane
Member
- Mar 24, 2021
- 648
I have been close to death twice: the first time the method did not work and the second time I panicked because of survival instinct.
I grew up in a family which I have never fitted into; my mother has had children with another man than my father when I was 14 so I have neither had a brother nor a sister in my own age to be with. I moved to another city where it was difficult to know new people. I have been unlucky in love - the men I have had have only taken advantage of me. With the passage of time I lost contact with the friends I once had, but I have always enjoyed writing and reading and I have many books in the bookshelves.
I have had sleep disorders for years and health problems caused by these sleeping problems and because of politics I was unisured from the health insurance. My mother is old and very difficult to talk to, she pays my rent and gives me money to food and the dentist, but beyond that my life is a prison. I want to have plastic surgery and facelift because I fell from a ladder and injured my face, but my relatives refuse to pay for it although they have a lot of money, they want me to suffer. I have to have my mother´s permission for everything I need. I am alone and I feel like a prisoner. Covid-19 made me even more isolated, but I have not been infected. I only have Sanctioned Suicide to write about death and suicide.
My relatives are in total denial of death and they have never been sick themselves. My relatives want to die of old age, the worst death, or maybe they want to live forever and they are trying to force me to live until I end up in a wheelchair - I who am an adult with own apartment. Other people can die whenever they want but I can not. When my mother becomes demented, which she can be for several years, she can not pay the rent and then I will be homeless, but she can make me homeless any day. My relatives know that I suffer from health problems, but yet they want to prolong my suffering and they want me to get vaccinated. However, the vaccinations do not work because people get sick anyway - overpopulation is the problem.
I have wanted to die the last five years because I want to avoid years of meaningless suffering. I want to live and die with dignity. The best death is to die with the help of a doctor, but then I have to follow the rules of the suicide clinic in Switzerland and yet they have the power to reject me. My father died young and I always wanted to die young as Marilyn Monroe. I have been planning and preparing for suicide psychologically for months - how to overcome the survival instinct and the fear of death. I want to get out of my prison - this situation has completely derailed. What would you do in my situation?
I will use the method plastic bag - cause of death will be lack of oxygen and carbon dioxide poisoning. In the book Five Last Act, Chris Docker has written that if the method plastic bag fails it will be possible to try again and I hope I can trust this. To succeed with this method requires luck or careful planning.
I grew up in a family which I have never fitted into; my mother has had children with another man than my father when I was 14 so I have neither had a brother nor a sister in my own age to be with. I moved to another city where it was difficult to know new people. I have been unlucky in love - the men I have had have only taken advantage of me. With the passage of time I lost contact with the friends I once had, but I have always enjoyed writing and reading and I have many books in the bookshelves.
I have had sleep disorders for years and health problems caused by these sleeping problems and because of politics I was unisured from the health insurance. My mother is old and very difficult to talk to, she pays my rent and gives me money to food and the dentist, but beyond that my life is a prison. I want to have plastic surgery and facelift because I fell from a ladder and injured my face, but my relatives refuse to pay for it although they have a lot of money, they want me to suffer. I have to have my mother´s permission for everything I need. I am alone and I feel like a prisoner. Covid-19 made me even more isolated, but I have not been infected. I only have Sanctioned Suicide to write about death and suicide.
My relatives are in total denial of death and they have never been sick themselves. My relatives want to die of old age, the worst death, or maybe they want to live forever and they are trying to force me to live until I end up in a wheelchair - I who am an adult with own apartment. Other people can die whenever they want but I can not. When my mother becomes demented, which she can be for several years, she can not pay the rent and then I will be homeless, but she can make me homeless any day. My relatives know that I suffer from health problems, but yet they want to prolong my suffering and they want me to get vaccinated. However, the vaccinations do not work because people get sick anyway - overpopulation is the problem.
I have wanted to die the last five years because I want to avoid years of meaningless suffering. I want to live and die with dignity. The best death is to die with the help of a doctor, but then I have to follow the rules of the suicide clinic in Switzerland and yet they have the power to reject me. My father died young and I always wanted to die young as Marilyn Monroe. I have been planning and preparing for suicide psychologically for months - how to overcome the survival instinct and the fear of death. I want to get out of my prison - this situation has completely derailed. What would you do in my situation?
I will use the method plastic bag - cause of death will be lack of oxygen and carbon dioxide poisoning. In the book Five Last Act, Chris Docker has written that if the method plastic bag fails it will be possible to try again and I hope I can trust this. To succeed with this method requires luck or careful planning.
