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downndone2

Living in misery
Jan 23, 2022
1,270
This sounds so stupid but I quite literally want to hire a hit man to take care of me. I'm tired of living but the thought of ending it on my own is scary. The minute I think about doing it I also think about failure and SI.

I wish there was a way to fix all my stuff but there isn't! I made terrible choices, gambled away a perfect life, ruined everything. I just hate who I have become and feel terrible about about the people I've affected. My life is so fucked, I can't exist like this...

i really just wish i could find someone to take care of me right now. The anxiety over everything is just overwhelming


If you could hire a hit man would you?
 
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azalea087

azalea087

solitude
Mar 4, 2023
30
If you could hire a hit man would you?
definitely it would be so much nicer without the SI and other feelings leading up to doing it.
This sounds so stupid but I quite literally want to hire a hit man to take care of me.
dont worry its not stupid ive fantasized about it too (to be honest it would be great if they were cheap and easy to find yknow)
 
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HermitLonerGuy

HermitLonerGuy

Warlock
Sep 28, 2022
707
yes i live in a corrupt country where its easy to find a hitman for around $350. No questions asked . I considered it but lucky enough im on the path towards getting SN.
 
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downndone2

Living in misery
Jan 23, 2022
1,270
I didntbwant to use sn but idk.
 
stoopid

stoopid

from hell
Feb 27, 2023
183
You have no choice but going to Mexico or somewhere for that, I could tell you where to ask there but it's not guaranteed, but atleast it's no undercover cop there.
 
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nance

nance

Member
Feb 23, 2023
58
I have also thought about finding a Hitman and even made posts on reddit, some people responded in PM but none from my country. My SI kicks in like crazy even tho i am so miserable , if someone could kill me with less pain it would be great
 
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B

BBBB

Member
Jan 13, 2023
167
Yup, have had the same thoughts many times. 😞
 
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downndone2

Living in misery
Jan 23, 2022
1,270
Yup, have had the same thoughts many times. 😞



don't understand why everything has to be so hard. I have a gun but the thought of shooting myself is quite overwhelming. Not enough meds to OD. Etc etc etc.
 
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Octavia

Octavia

“I’d… rather kill myself.”
Mar 4, 2023
363
Sometimes I wish that I could request an assassination upon myself, so that the few people who do care about me would be less affected. But I live in Canada, so even if I was able to find a murder professional, they would likely be out of a student who is on her own's budget. Living in a developed country can be both a blessing and a curse. Mostly a blessing, but occasionally I wish that I could be in a place where human life is less valued.
 
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K

koko

Member
Feb 26, 2023
18
I think about this all the time ams wish I had a way.
 
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D

death song

Member
Jan 24, 2023
28
Have thought about this method a lot also. It is just way complicated in all phases of the plan.
 
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D

downndone2

Living in misery
Jan 23, 2022
1,270
Maybe I'll piss the wrong person off and they'll just put a bullet in my brain. But still want to find a hitman to make sure it actually happens. .
 
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R

RUPA

Student
Oct 19, 2022
106
most probably, they will get the money and nothing happens or even worse, I could be subject to a victim of crimes
 
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Emptied_soul

Emptied_soul

Girl with a broken soul.
Mar 4, 2023
37
I've been thinking about this for a while, one of my biggest fears of CBT is messing up or my survival instinct kicking in and preventing me from actually doing it, so having someone else to actually kill me would be so much better.
 
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D

downndone2

Living in misery
Jan 23, 2022
1,270
I've been thinking about this for a while, one of my biggest fears of CBT is messing up or my survival instinct kicking in and preventing me from actually doing it, so having someone else to actually kill me would be so much better.
Yep, I worry about both. But to wake up in hospital with gunshot wound to head, face a mess, paralyzed, alive, maybe blind, unable to eat, etc... doesn't sound good
 
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L

Lost21

Student
Sep 24, 2018
188
I would hire a hitman because this would eliminate my problem of SI
 
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L

lonelyguy

Member
Nov 9, 2022
23
I've thought about this often, I wish I knew some shady people in canada
 
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a-friend

a-friend

Member
Mar 1, 2023
9
Oh I absolutely would. You wouldn't even know what hit you! Just imagine: you're going on with your day, maybe you're happy (because, for me, I'd like to do something I enjoy before I CBT), then WHAM! Lights out.
 
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thevaccumguy

thevaccumguy

Member
Feb 14, 2023
40
I mean, hiring the hitman is probably the easy part. It's just that as it'll be a homicide case, you're leaving a hell of a mess behind for your family and friends to get tangled in. Depending on your circumstances , that may not be a problem though ( much like my own) . Also depending on where you live, getting the potential service may be a hassle , especially if you're not well connected with the local gangs and mafia. I'll leave the dark web hiring options out as those are- 1) unreliable 2) costs way too much
 
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A

another horizon

Existing for some reason
Mar 4, 2023
8
it would be quicker than acquiring SN for sure.
 
Caoine01

Caoine01

Experienced
Feb 23, 2023
212
I think we all know the scene from the movie sin city (2005) with the red dress.

I envy the girl every time I see the film.

1678209082651
 

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