edu0z

edu0z

carried away by a moonlight shadow
Aug 25, 2021
552
I have never cut myself but I suppose this is also a kind of self-harm.

I have put out some cigarettes on the hidden part of my forearm. The first time I did it I was so stressed that I didn't feel any pain and after turning it off completely it was like I felt more relieved. I was afraid to try it again but although the second time it did hurt a lot more, after turning it off I felt better again, like it calmed me down in some way. I promised my friends I wouldn't do it anymore and I don't like the scars it leaves on my skin, but every time I smoke a cigarette and it's about to go out, I'm tempted to do it.

I hate smoking, I feel guilty doing it but I feel like I need it. There are days when I smoke 2 or more boxes a day, especially when I am under a lot of stress or anxiety. I have tried to quit many times but I just don't feel like I have enough will to ever be able to do it.
 
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hellispink

hellispink

poisonous
May 26, 2022
1,231
I understand where you come from. Self harm releases endorphins, a good feel hormone. It makes us feel calm amid so much pain. I do self harm but i have been free for a few months. I miss it so much. Its the only thing that relieves this agony. I do gotta tell you, its very easy to become obsessed with self harm, its addictive just as cigarettes are. Be careful.
 
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