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Deleted member 13412

Deleted member 13412

Member
Dec 27, 2019
84
Hey everyone. I obviously failed. I fought against my SI very hard, but I guess I didn't have enough of the gas I was using- it ran out. I got close & was very determined. Funny, because I followed the instructions of a method I have proof of working for someone else on another site. I am going for another method.
Thanks for the extra replies & reactions! Really nice to come back to that. :heart:
hi welcome back !! ^^ we are here for you through everything !!
*big hugs* <3
 
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G

Ghost2211

Archangel
Jan 20, 2020
6,015
Hey everyone. I obviously failed. I fought against my SI very hard, but I guess I didn't have enough of the gas I was using- it ran out. I got close & was very determined. Funny, because I followed the instructions of a method I have proof of working for someone else on another site. I am going for another method.
Thanks for the extra replies & reactions! Really nice to come back to that. :heart:
Welcome back. It's good to see you again. Ctb is the hardest choices we'll ever make, and SI can be a monster. Sending you many hugs.
 
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Panna

Panna

Enlightened
Aug 31, 2020
1,005
Hey everyone. I obviously failed. I fought against my SI very hard, but I guess I didn't have enough of the gas I was using- it ran out. I got close & was very determined. Funny, because I followed the instructions of a method I have proof of working for someone else on another site. I am going for another method.
Thanks for the extra replies & reactions! Really nice to come back to that. :heart:
At least you didn't suffer from any bad side effects, that's nice to see. For what it's worth, welcome back mate.
 
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greebo6

Enlightened
Sep 11, 2020
1,671
Welcome back .
 
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Dead beat dad

Dead beat dad

Enlightened
Mar 5, 2019
1,029
I lurked for quite a while before joining & I know a lot of your stories. I see your triggers, your pains, your confusions, & frustrations... who's like the mother(s) in threads, who always gives sound opinions, who gives love, who always jumps in with logic/speaks their minds when things get derailed. I have so much respect for so many of you. & To be honest, many of you inspire me.

Today is the perfect day for a bus ride, as I hoped it would be. I will be boarding later this evening & will check in. I am not going to reveal my method due to internet privacy reasons, but I can assure you that SI is going to be a bitch. The difference between my attempts in the past & now is that I know that I have to keep reminding myself of why I am CTB all throughout.
I completed what I believe is what I was meant to do in this life & now I just suffer. My decision is sound. It's time for me to lie down.
I found this video last night (I love AW) & I hope it gives you the comfort like it has me, no matter where we end up after our bodies are no longer... we are all the universe: everything.
You're It- Alan Watts

Endless love, beautiful community. Your contribution & vulnerability is healing in many ways for many others.
Love and respect to you brother. You sound like you have made your peace and I honestly and sincerely hope that peace and light fill you on your journey.
If this is your time for the bus then may you travel swift and true friend.
DBD

*edit* just seen your update. I'm sorry you didn't make the bus. Respect for checking in and may the love of the kind community here be there for you in any darkness ahead.

DBD
 
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Silver

Silver

The 21st century is when everything changes
Aug 8, 2020
745
Hey everyone. I obviously failed. I fought against my SI very hard, but I guess I didn't have enough of the gas I was using- it ran out. I got close & was very determined. Funny, because I followed the instructions of a method I have proof of working for someone else on another site. I am going for another method.
Thanks for the extra replies & reactions! Really nice to come back to that. :heart:
Welcome back. I'm glad you are unharmed from your attempt.
 
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Lilacmoon

Lilacmoon

Beautiful moon, take me away.
Sep 23, 2020
1,308
welcome back. -hugs a lot- im sure almost all of us can relate.
 
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