Venting I keep thinking of my old attempt

[Radiated]

Tried to kill myself a while ago, pretty sure it was impulsive- I don't remember much. All I can remember is getting messages from people who previously didn't care about me at all telling me not to do it afterwards, maybe I shouldn't have felt that way, but I was so happy seeing people concerned about me. Though of course it immediatly stopped a day afterwards when they found out it didn't work.
I miss the feeling of being extremely sick and just looking at people try to check up on me, no amount of begging for help or signs of suicidality would make people care as much as they did. It's so depressing to come to terms with.