Venting I just want to feel good for once

[JadedBeing]

I want to do opiods. But i know that if i do that i will hit a new low pretty soon after and i'm tired of starting at 0. It's always depression>everything falls apart>build myself up again and repeat. Drugs will make the 'everythings falling apart' part much more extrem and i don't think i'll have the necessary will to go through that type of low. But when i'm using opiods i will know a source that provides them to me and i could intentionally OD whenever i want.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I know what you mean. I enjoyed codeine when it was prescribed, even though it would be a comparitively tiny dose when metabolised into morphine.

I suppose it's intriguing to wonder how the world would look and feel from an altered perspective. Still, I'm bad enough feeling addictive feelings towards food! I dread to think what I'd be like on an addictive drug! I think it probably would be an amazing method to suicide with though. One huge hit (which is supposedly the best anyway) and then, out.

Supposedly, my Mum was given heroin in the hospital in the late stages of cancer. I have a feeling they (extremely bravely) helped her on her way. The doctor told my Dad she would go out in 'a blaze of glory.' It would be nice to go the same way but, I suspect I'm going to suffer.