Venting i just wanna be a puppygirl

[meowpuppy]

i just wanna be a puppygirl.. i just want to bark, run around, play with my toys,, and nap in the sunlight. that's all a girl wants, honestly. i just, wish i had an owner and i wish she would wrap her arms around me and keep me happy and hold me when i'm sad and also hold me while i'm happy

i also want to have a little tail that wags whenever i'm happy, and some toys to throw around, and i just can't because, one, nobody loves me, two, nobody will love me in the future enough to let me pretend to be a dog in their vicinity, and three, i would probably somehow mess up being a dog, despite the fact that dogs are pretty successful at being dogs

 

[Kokonoe]

me too, girlie, me too,,

 

[tonicer]

I always wanted to be a big bird like a raven or a raptor or something. It would have to be so far from any human settlement as possible so i am not getting shot down by a poacher. Being free from the ground and flying with your own strength must feel amazing. I had a dream about being a raven once. Best dream so far.

 

[meowpuppy]

me too, girlie, me too,,

you're a puppy too??

 

[Kokonoe]

you're a puppy too??

among other things lol, but yes, im very puppy :3

 

[meowpuppy]

among other things lol, but yes, im very puppy :3

woah. epic.

anyways, i'm sorry to keep piling on but i think that this desire of mine will just go unfulfilled, and at some point i wonder how much of a person i even am if a) i can't be a girl b) i can't be a dog c) i can't do what i want to do d) i can't work e) i can't play much f) i'm not loved for who i am..

i might be literally nothing, i might be ash.

 

[annointed_towers]

I just want to be taken care of. loved and taken care of, and not have to provide and be so strong and hard. life is hard. harder than it had to be. life made me hard, harder. harder than i should have had to be.

more strong than I should have to be.

I want soft, slow, gentle.

And they say, "because you are weak."

 

[meowpuppy]

I just want to be taken care of. loved and taken care of, and not have to provide and be so strong and hard. life is hard. harder than it had to be. life made me hard, harder. harder than i should have had to be.

more strong than I should have to be.

I want soft, slow, gentle.

And they say, "because you are weak."

i think it's been the opposite for me. life made me weaker, more soft, and docile. i feel like i'm having a fawn response to the existence of society lol

 

[Kokonoe]

woah. epic.

anyways, i'm sorry to keep piling on but i think that this desire of mine will just go unfulfilled, and at some point i wonder how much of a person i even am if a) i can't be a girl b) i can't be a dog c) i can't do what i want to do d) i can't work e) i can't play much f) i'm not loved for who i am..

i might be literally nothing, i might be ash.

yeah, i feel that, too. it's completely unfulfilled for me and i can't help but be pretty envious of people who have simple things like that. and i get the rest of it as well. i also just don't feel human. i can't do any of what i want to do, i'm completely unloved, i'm not much of a person and it's hard to even say i'm alive, i also can't work. life is pretty depressing when you have nothing. i cope by just living in my head sometimes but that's not particularly healthy either.

I just want to be taken care of. loved and taken care of, and not have to provide and be so strong and hard. life is hard. harder than it had to be. life made me hard, harder. harder than i should have had to be.

more strong than I should have to be.

I want soft, slow, gentle.

And they say, "because you are weak."

me too :(

i just want to be taken care of for once, but instead i'm always the one having to take care of others instead. it's miserable to just never get what i want even once, and to just have to suck it up and give others what i want so badly but can't have.

 

[meowpuppy]

yeah, i feel that, too. it's completely unfulfilled for me and i can't help but be pretty envious of people who have simple things like that. and i get the rest of it as well. i also just don't feel human. i can't do any of what i want to do, i'm completely unloved, i'm not much of a person and it's hard to even say i'm alive, i also can't work. life is pretty depressing when you have nothing. i cope by just living in my head sometimes but that's not particularly healthy either.

me too :(

i just want to be taken care of for once, but instead i'm always the one having to take care of others instead. it's miserable to just never get what i want even once, and to just have to suck it up and give others what i want so badly but can't have.

sis i can't even live in my head these days, because of my anxiety, i hate it. i feel like i need a screen in front of me 24/7 to distract me. i feel like a stupid baby watching sensory videos, except my sensory videos are polemics on guattari. i have to be fighting my demons ken carson just to see the inside of my head, and the only time my inner monologue comes out is if i'm doing something kinda intellectual or if i'm trying to soothe myself

 

[Kokonoe]

sis i can't even live in my head these days, because of my anxiety, i hate it. i feel like i need a screen in front of me 24/7 to distract me. i feel like a stupid baby watching sensory videos, except my sensory videos are polemics on guattari. i have to be fighting my demons ken carson just to see the inside of my head, and the only time my inner monologue comes out is if i'm doing something kinda intellectual or if i'm trying to soothe myself

that's rough, i'm sorry :c
i think it's just a bit easier for me to live in my own head because of my dissociative disorder, lol. but lately i can't even really do that much, definitely not like i used to. and i guess dissociating less is technically a good thing? but man i wish i could just exist in headspace and not have to interact with reality like ever..
and i get the need to constantly distract yourself, too. it feels like that's all i ever do :/
the moment i'm alone and have nothing to do i just completely fall apart.

 

[0dysseus]

Keep holding tour fingers in case there such a thing as reincarnation

 

[wannabeangel]

god this is so real, i just wanna be a puppy and also regress. since i was a toddler i acted like a puppy for hours and always related more to animals than people. being taken care of without needing to think is all i want, and just indulge in the little things that make me happy. i think i found an owner im scared it will be ruined and i wont see him in person tho. even then tho my biggest fantasy is him being a vet and putting me down because it's unethical to keep an animal alive in this much pain lol i still cant escape wanting to die

 

[bl33ding_heart]

Life is unpredictable, you don't for sure know that someone that genuinely loves you won't come along someday. I hope you find someone that can love you for who you are, and I hope your life improves.

 

[CleanGopher]

i just wanna be a puppygirl.. i just want to bark, run around, play with my toys,, and nap in the sunlight. that's all a girl wants, honestly. i just, wish i had an owner and i wish she would wrap her arms around me and keep me happy and hold me when i'm sad and also hold me while i'm happy

i also want to have a little tail that wags whenever i'm happy, and some toys to throw around, and i just can't because, one, nobody loves me, two, nobody will love me in the future enough to let me pretend to be a dog in their vicinity, and three, i would probably somehow mess up being a dog, despite the fact that dogs are pretty successful at being dogs

I sometimes wish I could be a slave, yk a digital driver in a never ending simulation of tourment? But living is already torture enough so I'm fine with how I am :3

 

[00ps]

i just wanna be a puppygirl.. i just want to bark, run around, play with my toys,, and nap in the sunlight. that's all a girl wants, honestly. i just, wish i had an owner and i wish she would wrap her arms around me and keep me happy and hold me when i'm sad and also hold me while i'm happy

i also want to have a little tail that wags whenever i'm happy, and some toys to throw around, and i just can't because, one, nobody loves me, two, nobody will love me in the future enough to let me pretend to be a dog in their vicinity, and three, i would probably somehow mess up being a dog, despite the fact that dogs are pretty successful at being dogs

same here but puppy boy. i wish i had someone that i was guaranteed safety with and i could just not worry about anything in the real world and just be a pup. just having dog beds to sleep on and some toys that i got in a corner or smth would be a real nice life

 

[mutsu]

didn't realize there were so many fellow puppys on this site

i wish puppygirls were real,,,

 

[meowpuppy]

god this is so real, i just wanna be a puppy and also regress. since i was a toddler i acted like a puppy for hours and always related more to animals than people. being taken care of without needing to think is all i want, and just indulge in the little things that make me happy. i think i found an owner im scared it will be ruined and i wont see him in person tho. even then tho my biggest fantasy is him being a vet and putting me down because it's unethical to keep an animal alive in this much pain lol i still cant escape wanting to die

very similar, but i dont' rly want to be a dog. i want to occupy the position of a dog. like how insecure men associate themselves with the tiger as a synecdoche for unyielding power over the weak

Life is unpredictable, you don't for sure know that someone that genuinely loves you won't come along someday. I hope you find someone that can love you for who you are, and I hope your life improves.

unfortunately i'm not holding my breath. and they would have to come to me and basically beg me to be their beloved because i'm certainly not going to go out there lol

same here but puppy boy. i wish i had someone that i was guaranteed safety with and i could just not worry about anything in the real world and just be a pup. just having dog beds to sleep on and some toys that i got in a corner or smth would be a real nice life

so reall

didn't realize there were so many fellow puppys on this site

i wish puppygirls were real,,,

me too,, then we could all have a playdate,,, i wanna be a sort of puppy preacher here for the puppy family to listen to on sasu so that i can advocate puppy interests

okay but seriously we're all so heterodox in one way or another i'm not surprised there are many puppygirls here. the puppygirl has, to me, always been a way to escape my social position of being gay, trans, bedridden, a loner, neurodivergent, anxious, depressed, brown..


dogs have no mental conditions, can't be queer, are never blamed for being bedridden or being lonely, and don't have race and thus can't be racialized

 

[mutsu]

okay but seriously we're all so heterodox in one way or another i'm not surprised there are many puppygirls here. the puppygirl has, to me, always been a way to escape my social position of being gay, trans, bedridden, a loner, neurodivergent, anxious, depressed, brown..

oh my god fellow brown transgirl this is so rare theres like 3 of us ever

 

[meowpuppy]

oh my god fellow brown transgirl this is so rare theres like 3 of us ever

no way??? on my birthday too lmao im so glad i joined this site??

 

[mutsu]

no way??? on my birthday too lmao im so glad i joined this site??

happy birthday!! hope today is marginally better than other days for you

oh i also joined this site around my birthday!! thats funny

 

[dandayooo]

there are so many trans girls in here that i don't know if i feel at home or if i make a social critique considering the nature of this forum

 

[meowpuppy]

there are so many trans girls in here that i don't know if i feel at home or if i make a social critique considering the nature of this forum

por que no los dos?

 

[hdead]

I always wanted to be a big bird like a raven or a raptor or something. It would have to be so far from any human settlement as possible so i am not getting shot down by a poacher. Being free from the ground and flying with your own strength must feel amazing. I had a dream about being a raven once. Best dream so far.

This. Peregrine falcon would be nice, also.

 

[meowpuppy]

This. Peregrine falcon would be nice, also.

wouldn't diving as a peregrine falcon be scary? i'd cry.

happy birthday!! hope today is marginally better than other days for you

oh i also joined this site around my birthday!! thats funny

sorry to report back girlie but they deadnamed me, pressured me, and gave me bad gifts

got two new books today, though. neither of them were gifts, since i picked them, but still.

 

[hdead]

wouldn't diving as a peregrine falcon be scary? i'd cry.

Only if you're not a falcon, I suppose. I think it'd be quite awesome, from the perspective of the falcon obviously.

 

[meowpuppy]

Only if you're not a falcon, I suppose. I think it'd be quite awesome, from the perspective of the falcon obviously.

until we find a way to interview falcons, i'm hesitant. i wonder if it'd be like us fantasizing about how awesome it would be to hunt gazelles as a tiger, when i think if i was a tiger i'd be really anxious about making sure i could eat

 

[mutsu]

sorry to report back girlie but they deadnamed me, pressured me, and gave me bad gifts

got two new books today, though. neither of them were gifts, since i picked them, but still.

NOO apologies that sucks so bad :(( i wish you had kinder people around

i hope the two books you picked up are still nice though!! even if they weren't gifts

 

[meowpuppy]

NOO apologies that sucks so bad :(( i wish you had kinder people around

i hope the two books you picked up are still nice though!! even if they weren't gifts

it's okay. still reading the first book and it's pretty good. i've become blase to the idea of ever not being a boy in my family's eyes

 

[mutsu]

it's okay. still reading the first book and it's pretty good. i've become blase to the idea of ever not being a boy in my family's eyes

im glad!!

same here,,, my parents only found out i was trans like a month ago and even though theyre like not kicking me out or anything they refuse to call me by my name or my pronouns so it kinda just sucks

luckily i pass kinda well(even if i dont believe i do) so outside of my family im treated as a woman

still a really mentally ill woman that no one wants to be around but hey its something i guess