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NeverEndingPain

NeverEndingPain

So tired of struggling
May 8, 2022
286
I have no one to talk to and just need to get this out. I sleep with my rope and hold it like it's a stuffed animal for comfort. I will also hang it around my neck and just sit there wearing it.
I live alone so no one sees this.
Has anyone done things like this? I feel weird 😭
 
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Reactions: tary, not_actually_human, Wojaczek and 15 others
Cathy Ames

Cathy Ames

Cautionary Tale
Mar 11, 2022
2,110
I'm not sure, but I think there is (or was) at least one person here who slept with their SN.
 
leeloosnow

leeloosnow

Warlock
Aug 28, 2022
725
lol ya i sleep w my sn. like, it's wrapped up and behind the bed sorta but i can reach over and touch that storage, feels safe. have in the past done similar things w/rope as you mention, with various lvls of intention. i ordered twice, so sometimes i take my friends out and one jar for each hand and dance around n make shakey shakey songs.
 
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Life_and_Death

Life_and_Death

Do what's best for you 🕯️ I'm............
Jul 1, 2020
7,031
ive had my rope around my neck a few times :hug:
 
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Un-

Un-

I'm a failure. An absolute waste. A LOSEr.
Apr 6, 2021
652
I read that someone sleeps with their shotgun. If I had my SN, I'd do the same.
 
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makethepainstop

makethepainstop

Visionary
Sep 16, 2022
2,029
I have no one to talk to and just need to get this out. I sleep with my rope and hold it like it's a stuffed animal for comfort. I will also hang it around my neck and just sit there wearing it.
I live alone so no one sees this.
Has anyone done things like this? I feel weird 😭
Ok, you told us yours and now I shall tell you all mine. When I got my SN I was positively cackling with glee and rubbing my hands. I keep that lovely container with the powders of liberation where I can look at it and I on occasion pat the container warmly. I have also placed the barrel of a firearm in my mouth once or twice just to see.......So I guess it is a bit natural to be delighted with ones preferred method of departure, after all these tools are what will allow us to end our pain! So, my love for method #1 SN and my love for my backup, #2 method a 45-derringer slug.
Hopefully, others can now feel ok to share their true feelings and thoughts about this.
 
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R

Regen

I stay in my power
Aug 20, 2020
522
If I feel very painful, sometimes I go to the trains only to look and have the feeling that there is a way out.

And yes, I think it is a little bit weird. But only weird because it is not normal to be suicidal and feel so much pain. You know what I mean? From the View of another suicidal person maybe it is less weird.
 
NeverEndingPain

NeverEndingPain

So tired of struggling
May 8, 2022
286
If I feel very painful, sometimes I go to the trains only to look and have the feeling that there is a way out.

And yes, I think it is a little bit weird. But only weird because it is not normal to be suicidal and feel so much pain. You know what I mean? From the View of another suicidal person maybe it is less weird.
I think it's my way to comfort myself and to try to mentally prepare
 

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