Venting I honestly fail to understand people in their 20s seriously contemplating suicide.

[406metallicblue]

For me, ctb is about having exhausted all your possibilities. As Iggy Pop said, there are a million different ways to live your life. Try them all, exhaust the potential until there's nothing left to turn to... and then, maybe. I've exhausted the million ways, i'm 50. Someone who is 20 can't have... try everything, of course you'll still be carrying you around with you but environment can be stimulating. It may only last a year but it's a year where you might be better and enjoy life more than you do now. I know there are many pathologies out there that are different to mine so i can't speak for everyone.

 

[Pepega]

I hate society, I hate peoples, I just want to dieeee

 

[Kikoo Loool]

Ain't you assuming that suicide would always be rational?

 

[406metallicblue]

I hate society, I hate peoples, I just want to dieeee

Hell is other people. Sartre. What he meant is not that people are shitty, unreliable and conformist but simply that they judge us in a way that fails to correspond with our own view of ourselves, thus alienating us existentially. Once you see this, things can never be the same. And yes, totally rational as a question we pose ourselves. The other prime existentialist Camus wrote a whole novel positing that suicide is the main dilemma of human existence and how to cope with it. i recommend you read more camus.

 

[SkyBlue]

For me, ctb is about having exhausted all your possibilities. As Iggy Pop said, there are a million different ways to live your life. Try them all, exhaust the potential until there's nothing left to turn to... and then, maybe. I've exhausted the million ways, i'm 50. Someone who is 20 can't have... try everything, of course you'll still be carrying you around with you but environment can be stimulating. It may only last a year but it's a year where you might be better and enjoy life more than you do now. I know there are many pathologies out there that are different to mine so i can't speak for everyone.

Yes! Although I had to find that you can be trapped really really unfortunate. In ways that are very hard to imagine. But I so agree with you.

 

[Alecsa]

Are you familiar with the 27 club? Those people could have had anything they wanted and yet they decided to CTB. Some people just feel and experience things more strongly than others. Desperation, anxiety, trauma, and depression doesn't discriminate against status and/or age. Sonetimes things just don't align right, and that sliver of hope you need is just difficult to come by. Sad truth.

 

[Nanami]

I honestly fail to understand how someone can think that just because I'm in my 20s and younger than them I must've done less to try and help the problem than them.


Why do we need another one of these threads?

 

[406metallicblue]

Do you still have dreams, aspirations... you might think them unattainable but try them. When you put yourself out there wierd shit can happen that you didn't foresee and liberate you for a while, taking you away from your dream but in to something else, serendipity. Ctb is for people who have exhausted all that and experienced that it doesn't change anything despite trying. But try everything before deciding you've tried everything.

 

[Nanami]

Stop assuming younger people haven't tried everything they could possibly do.

 

[Pepega]

The only thing that gave me hope is a user from this forum, and she is gonna CTB this weekend.I'm sooooo gone...to bad my sn isn't here yet, i have to live alone in my misery for another 2-3 weeks

 

[Alecsa]

But try everything before deciding you've tried everything.

Sadly sometimes even getting out of bed is difficult. Say, I know we need help, exhaust all means etc. But how can you even think of dreams and aspirations if you can't even get out of bed. How do I get help if I refuse to help myself. Am I in the wrong to be stuck in that state? Should I feel more guilty that I can't will myself to get up, brush my teeth, shower, eat, let alone go and get help.

It sucks being stuck in that rut, I understand. Most of the time people have sought help and still find themselves in the same cycle.

 

[406metallicblue]

Are you familiar with the 27 club? Those people could have had anything they wanted and yet they decided to CTB. Some people just feel and experience things more strongly than others. Desperation, anxiety and depression doesn't discriminate against status and/or age. Sonetimes things just don't align right, and that sliver of hope you need is just difficult to come by. Sad truth.

For sure, i'm coming from personal experience. I was deeply depressed aged 20 but found something in my 40s that took me to another level. Another person might experience this transition at a younger age. What i suggest is to simply live your life until 50 before deciding that the universe has nothing left to offer and calling it quits, no matter how deep the shit seems. Can you have given life a fair crack of the whip at 27?

 

[Nanami]

Can you have given life a fair crack of the whip at 27?

Yes.

 

[Alecsa]

I was deeply depressed aged 20 but found something in my 40s that took me to another level. Can you have given life a fair crack of the whip at 27?

Sadly, not all people are lucky to find something. Are you glad you did, considering, I'm assuming you contemplate ctb at your age now? Why prolong the agony when you know things are temporary?

Having mental and emotional hurdles are difficult.

Also, no if I ctb at 27 then I wouldn't know if I gave life a fair crack of the whip, but sometimes you just feel like life has given you more than enough, and that's what's unfair.

 

[406metallicblue]

Sadly sometimes even getting out of bed is difficult. Say, I know we need help, exhaust all means etc. But how can you even think of dreams and aspirations if you can't even get out of bed. How do I get help if I refuse to help myself. Am I in the wrong to be stuck in that state? Should I feel more guilty that I can't will myself to get up, brush my teeth, shower, eat, let alone go and get help.

It sucks being stuck in that rut, I understand. Most of the time people have sought help and still find themselves in the same cycle.

I'm in the same boat as you, just trying to talk my way out of it, the last refuge. It was here, carry on as normal, ctb or a psych unit.. none of which are palatable but some more than others.

 

[NumbItAll]

Things could get better but they could also get worse. What's the point? Life sucks and isn't valuable.

 

[elizabeth.luck]

What's it to you if I die now or 30 years from now after suffering even more? This viewpoint is absurd.

 

[406metallicblue]

Yes.

And so, the moral of the story is not to judge based on age and perceived experience. Something wants me to try to help, but if someone wanted to help me... i'd tell them to go to hell. Ha. Well, good luck to you all.

What's it to you if I die now or 30 years from now after suffering even more? This viewpoint is absurd.

It's only absurd from your point of view. What have you experienced in your life, have you exhausted all possibilitles? If you think you have then my apologies.

 

[sólstafir]

I believe what scares many people away from life at early 20ties, at least what I've seen people talking about in forums, is the path you see in front of you: working for 40 or so years. You may say you have a 1000 ways of living, but you deepdown always know you'll need money, and that is scary when you don't know what you want. And if you don't have that special thing you would like to do with your life, you'll get stagnant and scared, you'll make a lot of bad choices in twenties, because you never knew deepdown what you wanted to do, and living without purpose is hell. Also, many suicidal people experienced abuse before entering into twenties. Twenties are the years where you feel you can undo the damage that happened before, you have that tiny hope, but many fail to do so, with each year life gets harder instead.
I became suicidal at age 19, but not because of that working problem, but because I lost my mind to psychosis. It happened again and again in my twenties. Every kind of stress triggers my brain, whether I'm in school or at work - suddenly I'm starting to experience weird reality, and it's scary. I lost someone I felt was right for me during episode too, so that's also reason why I'm suicidal. So I have mental health problems and it stops me from trying anymore. I'm afraid to loose my mind again, I live a stagnant life at age 27 now. See the trap I'm in: I'm a burden, but when I work, I end up in hospital. Every time. I could switch continents, environment with blue beaches wouldn't change my brain. Living as a burden can't be my long-term solution, suicidal ideaton gives me hope that it's temporary. I've bookmarked someone elses answer on reddit to that 27-club question, it is worded better than I ever could -

"
I believe that there is a logical reason: once you make it to your late 20s, you have a firm grasp on what your life is all about.

• In your teens, you are smart enough to realize that suicide isn't wise just yet. While you hate your life now, it is entirely likely that your life will change dramatically after grade school. Your body has not even fully developed, nor has your mind, so you hold out because "it gets better" (purportedly).
• In your early 20s, your life is still filled with promise and hope. After all, you haven't failed enough to know that you are, in fact, destined for failure. You have found enough distractions to keep your agony at bay.
• If you make it to your 30s, you're already neck-deep in the painful monotony of life as an adult. You may not have consciously noticed it, but you exist to make someone else money. You've gotten used to it, and, thus, have tacitly accepted it.

Hence, it is the Late 20s that is the perfect time to seriously analyze your existence and decide to CTB.

For example...

• I realize now that my dreams and aspirations are, if not outright impossible, then highly unlikely to be achieved.
• I realize now that there is no person, no community, no partner, no social circle, no city, no job, no house, no product, and no interest that can bring longstanding happiness to my life.
• Never having fit in, I realize now that there is <1% chance that I will ever fit in. Even if I am heavily medicated, I will still have to work 10x harder than the next person simply to not stand out like a sore thumb.
• I realize now that I am far too broken to find love (let alone maintain and nurture it in any sort of lasting way).
• I realize now that I am so far behind everyone else, and in so many ways, that I will never catch up.
• I realize now that I lack the self-respect or intelligence or strength to become the person that I want to be.
• I realize now that my childhood abuse will never escape me.
• I realize now, with my best years behind me, that it is better to quit the race, instead of crawling over glass shards to the distant finish.

The problem isn't my environment. I can say with complete confidence—now with a catalogue of experiences—that the problem is me."

 

[Donewith_]

op.. Have you found the answer?

 

[faex42]

Some people are exhibiting an astonishing lack of sensitivity and ignorance to the reasons why someone under 27 might cbt. No one asked you for your judgmental comments.

In another thread, a frequent advice giver rather new to SS sought to qualify the impact of sexual abuse endured by an another member.

People in their teens and twenties cbt or seek to cbt for a variety of reasons which they may not choose to disclose in full detail. And even if they do, they are not here to be second-guessed by other members.
This is a pro-choice site not a pro-life site.

 

[406metallicblue]

Some people are exhibiting an astonishing lack of sensitivity and ignorance to the reasons why someone under 27 might cbt. No one asked you for your judgmental comments.

In another thread, a frequent advice giver rather new to SS sought to qualify the impact of sexual abuse endured by an another member.

People in their teens and twenties cbt or seek to cbt for a variety of reasons which they may not choose to disclose in full detail. And even if they do, they are not here to be second-guessed by other members.
This is a pro-choice site not a pro-life site.

It's a pro choice site yes, that's why there is always another side to a story. Pro choice is precisely what i was getting at, you can interpret that as pro life if you want to. I can only give my impression based on what people have to say, of course i don't know their exact story. Nobody in here knows each other intimately and so second guessing is par for the course. My only suggestion was for people to exhaust every possibility they might have to come through it. At no point did i recommend that anyone contemplating ctb under 27 years old was delusional, just that their experience of life is limited compared to someone who is 50. Pro choice is about keeping the doors open, pro life is about forcing them open. Attempting to denigrate the impact of sexual abuse on someone is something i would never do, so i do see your point.. someone who is 20 and has suffered abuse without mentioning it in their post.. i might have tried to empower them to see through their possibilities. But without details i just go on what i read and try to help. As for judgemental comments, the site asked me for them, that's what forums are for. i'm not a fucking mind reader.

It's logical that we don't know everyone's story. If that was a prerequisite for responding then the site wouldn't exist.

Stop assuming younger people haven't tried everything they could possibly do.

Ok, let's assume everyone here has experienced one kind of trauma or another, a fair assumption, which brings them here. It's just my personal impression that when i was deeply depressed at 25, things happened in my life that turned it around and i got another 25 years out of life, some good some bad. I'm happy to have got that extra time. I see what you mean, but as someone mentioned it's a pro choice site and i encourage younger people to use that choice, because at 50 your choices can be minimised.

I honestly fail to understand how someone can think that just because I'm in my 20s and younger than them I must've done less to try and help the problem than them.


Why do we need another one of these threads?

I'm not trying to patronise you. It's not a question of having tried less hard to find a solution. As in mentioned before it's just my experience that i made it through another 20 years when i thought all was lost. Apologies if it came across as an old dude whistling in the wind.

The last line of my original post was 'i realise there are different pathologies out there and i can't speak for everyone'.

 

[deflagrat]

If I choose to keep living past my 30s it will be because I have accepted defeat in life. It won't be because I have dreams, because I want to achieve things, or because I think I haven't considered every option. Do you accept life just as it is and not as you would want it to be? If so, life may be for you. Just as I mentioned, life is a pretty crappy and boring experience where you are forced to be a slave for 40 years. I refuse to work and luckily my family doesn't have a problem with that, but many other people don't have the same luck. It's understandable if someone thinks enough is enough in their 20s.

 

[Jen Erik]

WHERE IS THE EYEROLL EMOJI

(screaming intentional)

 

[Redt2go]

Are you familiar with the 27 club?

So weird to see this and thank you for sharing. I had recently decided to maybe consider sticking it out to 27 bc of someone who recently ctb at 27 who I felt really connected to through taste in music and at the same time found out that Amy winehouse (my old profile pic) also died at 27.... weird ... Then I googled 27 club and I'm kind of obsessed. I know it's a myth but I'm very intrigued by the concept now and have bought a book on it after seeing that so many artists I love are a part of the club. I'm not letting this affect when I die it's just very interesting to me...

 

[Roberto]

I think anything more or equal to 18 years old, and have tried therapy for some years, I just accept it. I can disagree more or less. But I also want people to accept my decision to ctb and don't ask me to think it twice.

 

[FTL.Wanderer]

For me, ctb is about having exhausted all your possibilities. As Iggy Pop said, there are a million different ways to live your life. Try them all, exhaust the potential until there's nothing left to turn to... and then, maybe. I've exhausted the million ways, i'm 50. Someone who is 20 can't have... try everything, of course you'll still be carrying you around with you but environment can be stimulating. It may only last a year but it's a year where you might be better and enjoy life more than you do now. I know there are many pathologies out there that are different to mine so i can't speak for everyone.

I honestly fail to understand any people making judgments about others' judgments about their own lives. I had a demonic childhood, from ongoing rape to daily bloody physical abuse to shattering emotional abuse. Things only got worse and worse every year. And just as I started college, I became the full-time caretaker for a dying parent. My second biggest life regret is that I didn't find a way to commit suicide at 9 as I wanted to then. I listened my whole life to the opinion, "Things will get better! Just travel! Try different ways to live!" But the people who make those suggestions don't have to suffer with you. They're not there to comfort you when you're struggling with so much pain you just want to blow your brains out. They certainly aren't going to assume any of the costs or risks you take as you're trying these "million different ways to live your life." It's my firm conviction that if we cannot take others' pain away, we have no business at all judging or interfering in their plans to die.

 

[Kyrok]

I'm in my 50s and regret not ctb decades ago.
Sometimes you know, given who you are, your life will be shit.
Of course, you could luck-out and end up with more than expected, but I think by your 20s you can know yourself well enough to make an informed choice about your prospects.

I was certain by the age of 24. I regret having let myself live beyond that.

 

[Angst Filled Fuck Up]

I can sort of see it both ways. Younger people may certainly have experienced a lot - sometimes suffering can be extreme or else condensed into a shorter time-frame whereby it feels intolerable and overwhelming. It can be difficult to have the emotional means to cope when you're just coming up in the world. Life stretches before you as this open field of bullshit, and you just kind of think "really? This is it?"

Having said that, I think there is a kind of psychological deadening that occurs after a certain age. A sort of numbness/world-weariness that sets in, where you begin to accept a lot of what you previously couldn't. I'm not sure I'd see that as growth/opportunity though. It's more like you're lobotomized by life's trials and you just kind of get on with it because you feel you have no choice.

At the end of the day, there's no 'right' - it's your life, you make the decisions.

 

[reveriewong]

There are children who commit suicide.
Sometimes, it's a learned behaviour. A parent or other family member did it. Children learn that it's a solution to pain and problems.
When a celebrity commits suicide, it becomes glorified by the media. People think about it more, and look into it more. People who are already feeling vulnerable will have a harder time to avoid such dark thoughts.

Sometimes, we haven't learned healthier ways to cope. Sometimes, we need to break destructive patterns, patterns that keep us from functioning and have nurturing relationships with ourselves and others. Right from the beginning, we need to show our children that they are loved. We need to nurture and care for them, and to do our best to be parents who are good role models for them--to teach them morals and values that will enrich the world we live in, to teach them personal responsibility, etc.

Life is hard. There's no denying that. This is why people can consider suicide at an even very young age. My hope is that we strive to pave a foundation of gratitude, morals and values, a sense of purpose and meaning that is beneficial not for just ourselves but for our family and the people around us, and healthy ways of coping, that will help us and others overcome difficult circumstances/unhelpful patterns and beliefs, and help with moving forward.