Venting I honestly fail to understand people in their 20s seriously contemplating suicide.

[LivingToLong]

I've exhausted the million ways, i'm 50.

Really? You've exhausted them ALL? My, that's some live you've lead! ;)

I don't think you can make judgements of other people's lives as simply as that. There might well be around a million ways (give or take) to live your life but there are many many more people than that and each of them have their own individual experiences. I can't judge them on the basis of my own limited experiences.

 

[Pulpit2018]

In before an 80 year old comes in and claims: "Kill yourself at 50?But thats silly!"

 

[Sundayafternoon]

I know there are many pathologies out there that are different to mine so i can't speak for everyone.

I think you included the perfect reply. You don't know how long that 20 - 29 year old person has been "suffering" and/or from what.

The exhaustion of all avenues will look different to each person. And personal life philosophies open a whole nother can of worms. Not everyone finds existence appealing. Especially knowing it's a long ass act in futility.

 

[406metallicblue]

It's true what you say, i have reflected a bit and my post was misguided. Most of what i do is misguided which is why i'm here, so it comes as no great surprise.

The emotion that prompted the post is coming from my own experience, how can it be otherwise. I failed to take into account effectively the million other points of view that exist and the post was written in a moment of sadness for young people who are at this stage. People who are here, despite any age differences have tried very hard to find a way to live, of course... it's not facebook. On reflection, if i had read the post 20 years ago i would have reacted as many have done. But then, today isn't such a good day. The message 'try everything' is coming from humanity and ought not to be have been put forward as an implied criticism.

 

[LivingToLong]

The message 'try everything' is coming from humanity and ought not to be have put forward as an implied criticism.

On rereading, I can see that. I admire that you've reflected upon what was said. There are not so many people who are prepared to do that. Many will defend their words for the rest of all time. It's a credit to you that you are not one such person.

I share your sadness for the people (of all ages) who are in so much pain that they want to take their own lives. Of course, I understand it and I wish I could take that pain away but I do none-the-less feel a sadness that suicide has become their only hope of pain relief. Our lives are perhaps the only thing we truly do own, so it's a HUGE thing to give it away. A monumental thing. It's the end of everything that we've ever been and known, or will be or will know. The end of all experience (you can tell I'm no believer in an afterlife but I respect the views of those that do) To yourself, you cease to exist; past, present or future. How can one not feel a sadness over that?

 

[ScorpiusDragon]

I believe what scares many people away from life at early 20ties, at least what I've seen people talking about in forums, is the path you see in front of you: working for 40 or so years. You may say you have a 1000 ways of living, but you deepdown always know you'll need money, and that is scary when you don't know what you want. And if you don't have that special thing you would like to do with your life, you'll get stagnant and scared, you'll make a lot of bad choices in twenties, because you never knew deepdown what you wanted to do, and living without purpose is hell. Also, many suicidal people experienced abuse before entering into twenties. Twenties are the years where you feel you can undo the damage that happened before, you have that tiny hope, but many fail to do so, with each year life gets harder instead.
I became suicidal at age 19, but not because of that working problem, but because I lost my mind to psychosis. It happened again and again in my twenties. Every kind of stress triggers my brain, whether I'm in school or at work - suddenly I'm starting to experience weird reality, and it's scary. I lost someone I felt was right for me during episode too, so that's also reason why I'm suicidal. So I have mental health problems and it stops me from trying anymore. I'm afraid to loose my mind again, I live a stagnant life at age 27 now. See the trap I'm in: I'm a burden, but when I work, I end up in hospital. Every time. I could switch continents, environment with blue beaches wouldn't change my brain. Living as a burden can't be my long-term solution, suicidal ideaton gives me hope that it's temporary. I've bookmarked someone elses answer on reddit to that 27-club question, it is worded better than I ever could -

"
I believe that there is a logical reason: once you make it to your late 20s, you have a firm grasp on what your life is all about.

• In your teens, you are smart enough to realize that suicide isn't wise just yet. While you hate your life now, it is entirely likely that your life will change dramatically after grade school. Your body has not even fully developed, nor has your mind, so you hold out because "it gets better" (purportedly).
• In your early 20s, your life is still filled with promise and hope. After all, you haven't failed enough to know that you are, in fact, destined for failure. You have found enough distractions to keep your agony at bay.
• If you make it to your 30s, you're already neck-deep in the painful monotony of life as an adult. You may not have consciously noticed it, but you exist to make someone else money. You've gotten used to it, and, thus, have tacitly accepted it.

Hence, it is the Late 20s that is the perfect time to seriously analyze your existence and decide to CTB.

For example...

• I realize now that my dreams and aspirations are, if not outright impossible, then highly unlikely to be achieved.
• I realize now that there is no person, no community, no partner, no social circle, no city, no job, no house, no product, and no interest that can bring longstanding happiness to my life.
• Never having fit in, I realize now that there is <1% chance that I will ever fit in. Even if I am heavily medicated, I will still have to work 10x harder than the next person simply to not stand out like a sore thumb.
• I realize now that I am far too broken to find love (let alone maintain and nurture it in any sort of lasting way).
• I realize now that I am so far behind everyone else, and in so many ways, that I will never catch up.
• I realize now that I lack the self-respect or intelligence or strength to become the person that I want to be.
• I realize now that my childhood abuse will never escape me.
• I realize now, with my best years behind me, that it is better to quit the race, instead of crawling over glass shards to the distant finish.

The problem isn't my environment. I can say with complete confidence—now with a catalogue of experiences—that the problem is me."

You said everything on my mind. I wish I could like this a million times. I'm 25, and I feel like I've seen enough of life to know I don't want to see more.

 

[inconsequential]

Oh, off with this shit. Off with it.

I'm in my late 20s. Been actively suicidal since I was 11. Thought about it first around age 9.

Molested by both parents.
Physically abused for nearly two decades.
Emotionally broken.

My spinal cord is impinged in 5 places.
My connective tissue is falling apart.
My lung disease will take me before I'm 60.
I have seizures every other day.

Don't tell me, "you're too young". I'm too fucking old, dude.

 

[Ruffian]

I think if you're old enough to die for your government, you're old enough to decide on when you wish you die, and hopefully by a peaceful means. I am not trying to offend anyone when I say this, because I know so many on here have problems that aren't up for public discussion. But when I speak with young people IRL in their 20s, and the couple I've talked to here, I can honestly say it sucks to be young. This may be the first time in the history of the world this has happened. What I mean by this is, most of the young people I meet are through work or from taking Ubers. I've talked to guys who are 27, have chemical engineering degree, and can't find a job. The IT guy at one of my jobs told me his salary (I thought all computer people made tons of money) and my jaw almost dropped. One girl I know is 26 and can't afford to move out from her parents. Granted, I didn't take the wisest life path, but for the most part my life was pretty fun from about 21 when I could afford to move out from my parents to 33. I had my bipolar depressions and manias, but I had friends, we hung out, went out for coffee, but everyone had a job. Now it seems like you can study your ass off for something and not even get a job. I mean, I absolutely hate what I picked for a career, but at least I had an opportunity. I don't know, it just seems like at baseline being young is not all that great anymore. Maybe it is, and I admit my experience talking with younger people is somewhat limited. But there is a definite sense of angst that I didn't get until my mid-thirties when I realized I fucked up and was running out of time (and too lazy) to change. Then I began to realize I had some other issues, etc. and life got exponentially worse. But I mean damn, I'm talking to people not on a "pro-choice" forum, and they are not having fun. So I know I can be sarcastic and grumpy sometimes, but a lot of times I'm tired or just talking out of my ass. You can definitely be young and suicidal. And I think I sound like a broken record when I bring this up - but not everyone is here just because of mental health issues. A lot of us are in chronic fucking pain. If I don't stop typing and take my meds in the next 10 minutes I will be in agony for the rest of the night. But that's one of the best things of SS, even if it's changed a lot. We can discuss mental illnesses as a serious reason to want to CTB, and it's not necessarily "irrational."

 

[Darkhaven]

What if some motherfu*king progressive and incurable neurological disease appears out of nowhere in your 20's and you start to witness your hands involuntarily shaking and you clearly notice it getting worse every few months that pass?
Very naive of your part to assume that because people are young they still have all the cards to change things around.

 

[Partial-Elf]

For me, ctb is about having exhausted all your possibilities. As Iggy Pop said, there are a million different ways to live your life. Try them all, exhaust the potential until there's nothing left to turn to... and then, maybe. I've exhausted the million ways, i'm 50. Someone who is 20 can't have... try everything, of course you'll still be carrying you around with you but environment can be stimulating. It may only last a year but it's a year where you might be better and enjoy life more than you do now. I know there are many pathologies out there that are different to mine so i can't speak for everyone.

Spoken like a true boomer lol...

Of course everyone has a different experience, but as someone who's in their twenties and living through constant mental and emotional torture, I can't imagine living til 50. Might as well cast me down to hell and throw away the key. It's not that the external circumstances of my life aren't agreeable–they are decent, but they in no way justify the continual pain I'm going through. Cons very much outweigh the pros, and there's no viable change I could make that would come even kind of close to evening out the math.

I also just hate the legal and cultural fabric I exist within. Politicians systematically lining pockets and shoving religion down everyone's throats, earth dying and all that.

At the end of the day, I just prefer non being over being and wish that could be respected.

 

[HGL91]

Wish @sólstafir was still here because they had amazing points on the first page about CTBing in late 20s...

 

[Ixtabba]

I don't understand why you just don't accept that everyone has their choices, their life is their choice, youth has nothing to do with it... you know it already, when someone is driven to this it's out of desperation, or peace and a sense of knowing what they want and being able to go out the way they want. That is power over yourself and that is escape... older people aren't the only ones who feel these things.

 

[not_a_robot]

Ooh, an old person bitching about how they "just don't understand young people".
How original.

 

[Bagger]

When you don't accept society and life as a wage slave they offering you (if you are not from some wealthy family there is minuscule chances for any different way) then what else to do? I don't accept society and society don't accept me. They destroys me. Been bullied my whole childhood. I don't give a fuck. I don't want to play their game, destined to work hard and get nothing more than just right amount of stuff to keep me working more. Do i NEED to FORCE myself to live a life THEY want me to? Nope! For now my meds keeping me off the ledge, and holds my emotions at bay. But i still don't want a life like that.

 

[SelfHatingAspie]

I'm in two minds about this.

On one hand, I agree with the OP is saying about ctb at a young age, as it may be possible to get to a better headspace and establish a better life by the time one is in their 30s, if only one can hang on through their 20s.

On the other hand, I'm loath to judge anyone looking to ctb, irrespective of their age. That said, I am saddened when kids take their own lives - not so much because of the act, but because of what may have driven them there so early.

 

[not_a_robot]

I only feel admiration and a little envy when young people ctb. God bless them for having the courage to end their suffering early, instead of allow cowardly SI to drag them, year after year, through a miserable life they don't want, like I do.

 

[Pupuce]

It doesn't matter what your age is, ultimately you're going to die, whatever you felt throughout your life won't have any meaning anymore, your existence is bound to be forgotten and no impact you can make on the world will last forever. The only difference is how long you either lie to yourself that you are important or suffer through life.

 

[Conflicted Cat]

I am... So... SO... Sick of these gatekeeping posts.

You think people in their 20s HAVEN'T TRIED to make life their life better/more bareable? Of course they have, and it doesn't ever get better, so they want out. And no, it is absolutely unreasonable to expect people to try literally anything and everything. It's too much, and 9 times out of 10, it only makes things worse rather than actually helping.

 

[dreamsofdestruction]

I was suicidal in my teens already but couldn't end it then and so I just kept living for two decades more, never really being able to lose the depression, suicidal ideation being a constant companion throughout my life.

Sometimes I look back and think if I only had done this and that maybe it could have all worked out, but the fact is I didn't do it because I couldn't do it. Maybe these possibilities never really existed for me and I could have spared me a lot of suffering.

Sure, there were some good times too in between, but I'm not always sure if that was worth it.

 

[Mr2005]

I missed this topic. It's sure to resonate. This is when people fall out because the younger people can't see it from the older persons perspective who's been there, done that

 

[inconsequential]

I missed this topic. It's sure to resonate. This is when people fall out because the younger people can't see it from the older persons perspective who's been there, done that

Older people all have multiple spinal cord impingements, a deadly lung disease, a connective tissue disease, and seizures?

Are they going to tell me that it gets better??

 

[AngelGirl]

For sure, i'm coming from personal experience. I was deeply depressed aged 20 but found something in my 40s that took me to another level. Another person might experience this transition at a younger age. What i suggest is to simply live your life until 50 before deciding that the universe has nothing left to offer and calling it quits, no matter how deep the shit seems. Can you have given life a fair crack of the whip at 27?

My 94 year old gramma can say the same to you..

 

[Shamana]

For me, ctb is about having exhausted all your possibilities. As Iggy Pop said, there are a million different ways to live your life. Try them all, exhaust the potential until there's nothing left to turn to... and then, maybe. I've exhausted the million ways, i'm 50. Someone who is 20 can't have... try everything, of course you'll still be carrying you around with you but environment can be stimulating. It may only last a year but it's a year where you might be better and enjoy life more than you do now. I know there are many pathologies out there that are different to mine so i can't speak for everyone.

Young people can also have chronic unremitting illness.

 

[Midnight]

To all those replying today. OP has already reflected on his intitial post in post #34. Best to read before just quoting/replying to post #1.

 

[SinisterKid]

This old man is here to tell you, IT GETS BETTER!

But I am also a pathological liar and senile, so its probably BS. But you kids need to listen to us old timers, we have so much wisdom to share with you all.

Did I mention senile and liar already?

 

[262653]

No, I'll reply first, and then read the rest.

Exhausting all other options makes sense IF suicide is considered the worst one. I see it as the best one, outcome wise, but hard to execute. I haven't read on popular (existentialist?) philosophers, and will very likely not going to bother, but I think they are widely esteemed for their coping methods, old chaps that spend their whole life contemplating suicide and never actually going through with it. They are popular among the living ilk for providing the methods to justify living while considering death.

I'm in my 20s and I haven't asked for existential philosophy, I'm asking for doable suicide methods, like "night-night". Having a retreat plan is the best way to cope with living I've ever conceived.

 

[Wolfjob_dayjob]

...kids are getting raped and told theyre better off dead way before 20. Not to mention family killed and all kinds of traumas. Life doesn't click off 'kid mode' as soon as you hit 20. Can you really really not understand? Or were you joking?

 

[komm susser todd]

A number of reasons really. In my case theres alot i could say but in general its mostly because im an athiest/nihilist and everything jusy feels hollow an empty. Waking up to work and shit just feels like a fucking drag and i have very few close personal relationships, plus some recent realozations about myself makes me want to just fucking end it all. I honestly just want to just fall asleep and never wake up. Thank fully with my trusty rope that will be a reality tommorow

 

[RM5998]

For me, ctb is about having exhausted all your possibilities. As Iggy Pop said, there are a million different ways to live your life. Try them all, exhaust the potential until there's nothing left to turn to... and then, maybe. I've exhausted the million ways, i'm 50. Someone who is 20 can't have... try everything, of course you'll still be carrying you around with you but environment can be stimulating. It may only last a year but it's a year where you might be better and enjoy life more than you do now. I know there are many pathologies out there that are different to mine so i can't speak for everyone.

Is there any particular reason you believe that suicide is a last resort? In other words, is there any specific reason because of which you believe that a person needs to try everything before they are 'allowed' to CTB?

EDIT: Having read the rest of the thread beyond the infuriating first item, the question still stands. However, I'm thankful that I decided to keep the uncharitable language to myself.