I haven't cried in almost 2 years until today

[Klo]

I've worked really hard to suppress all emotions for the last two years and it was pretty successful. Today my dad called screaming about qanon nonsense and really mad at me for pointing out what he was talking about comes from qanon, and it was my literal job for 3 years to document and debunk qanon.

I've been sick for a while now and this week I've been top sick to go get the tests I need to start a new medication and he call me with this shit and was really screaming.

It broke down all my work to be unemotional and and left me spending most of the day crying and a mess. I usually try to conceal the fact that I'm suicidal but I let him know that's all I think about and that everytime we talk could be the last and not to call me screaming about qanon (which he thinks is just politics and doesn't care or is not open to finding out what is true or not). I literally have been putting off ctb because I don't want to make things harder on him. I just feel so broken and hopeless and to have my work come to life like this and my own dad screaming at me about shit some rando posted on the internet is just too much.

I don't want to be emotional when I ctb so I won't do it today but in a few years of bad days this was really the worst and I'm mad at myself for crying and letting myself feel again.

 

[Nolan96]

He's probably very emotional and struggling. I don't know any QAnon believers, but I know conservatives in general get treated like absolute shit by society these days. (And you kind of implied he's not a QAnon believer either but just shares some beliefs that QAnon believers sometimes have.) The constant judgment and smearing of conservatives is an incredible amount to bear emotionally, and usually people deal with it silently because they'll only be mocked and receive no sympathy if they open up at all. I'm sure he still cares about you. Maybe he shared this with you exactly because he wanted to vent to someone he cares about.

 

[Klo]

I call this bullshit.
And, please, There are commas.
That goes especially to nolan, fuck.

?

 

[FinishingLine]

He's probably very emotional and struggling.

I don't know any QAnon believers, but I know conservatives in general get treated like absolute shit by society these days. (And you kind of implied he's not a QAnon believer either but just shares some beliefs that QAnon believers sometimes have.)

The constant judgment and smearing of conservatives is an incredible amount to bear emotionally, and usually people deal with it silently because they'll only be mocked and receive no sympathy if they open up at all. I'm sure he still cares about you.

Maybe he shared this with you exactly because he wanted to vent to someone he cares about.

 

[Klo]

He's probably very emotional and struggling.

I don't know any QAnon believers, but I know conservatives in general get treated like absolute shit by society these days. (And you kind of implied he's not a QAnon believer either but just shares some beliefs that QAnon believers sometimes have.)

The constant judgment and smearing of conservatives is an incredible amount to bear emotionally, and usually people deal with it silently because they'll only be mocked and receive no sympathy if they open up at all. I'm sure he still cares about you.

Maybe he shared this with you exactly because he wanted to vent to someone he cares about.

I'm still confused. I think it is bullshit what this poster said about conservatives but if you are saying I'm bullshit then you are just being mean. It was horrible the screaming at me over fucking qanon! And I still have a headache from crying

 

[Cathy Ames]

That sounds like a really horrible, stressful day, and the last thing you needed. I'm sorry that happened.

 

[Klo]

That sounds like a really horrible, stressful day, and the last thing you needed. I'm sorry that happened.

Thank you Cathy. It was horrible. Thank you for the empathy. It means a lot

 

[Klo]

Please delete this thread.

Fuck you how about you get out of my thread

Please delete this thread.

Why are you even on this site? To prey on vulnerable people and to kick them when they are down? You should be ashamed of yourself.

 

[GentleJerk]

@ OP I don't know what Qanon is but it sounds like you had to deal with a whole bunch of emotional fireworks for no good reason and it's left you feeling awful, that says enough and I hope your dad can step outside of his bullshit for one minute and realise that there are more important things, like building and maintaining a good relationship with family and trying to be more understanding.

Hopefully this blows over and he can come to his senses and refrain from exploding over nonsense, so you can enjoy a bit of peace, jeez. All the very best!

 

[Klo]

@ OP I don't know what Qanon is but it sounds like you had to deal with a whole bunch of emotional fireworks for no good reason and it's left you feeling awful, that says enough and I hope your dad can step outside of his bullshit for one minute and realise that there are more important things, like building and maintaining a good relationship with family and trying to be more understanding.

Hopefully this blows over and he can come to his senses and refrain from exploding over nonsense, so you can enjoy a bit of peace, jeez. All the very best!

Thank you for your kind words. I hope it blows over too

 

[Worndown]

Well, any attempt to remove emotion would be destroyed by some of the conduct witnessed today. Sorry about that. We are usually better about that.
Unfortunately emotions are part of us. Long term suppression is probably not healthy. Distancing yourself as much as possible from distressing people would be better.
Maybe thinking more about your fathers issues and less about his words will help you put this all in a better perspective.

 

[FinishingLine]

I apologize for coming over as hateful.
I am not, would never prey on vulnerable people.
But, could please make your point clear?
Your dad is a Qanon? What isa Qanon?
I am old, so don´t understand.

 

[Klo]

Well, any attempt to remove emotion would be destroyed by some of the conduct witnessed today. Sorry about that. We are usually better about that.
Unfortunately emotions are part of us. Long term suppression is probably not healthy. Distancing yourself as much as possible from distressing people would be better.
Maybe thinking more about your fathers issues and less about his words will help you put this all in a better perspective.

Thank you I was hoping to keep them suppressed up until I ctb and until I have the will to ctb. Hopefully that will come soon

I apologize for coming over as hateful.
I am not, would never prey on vulnerable people.
But, could please make your point clear?
Your dad is a Qanon? What isa Qanon?
I am old, so don´t understand.

You don't deserve an explanation try google and you know what it is or you wouldn't have deleted your reply that I liked calling it nonsense. Yes you prey on vulnerable people on a suicide discussion site, I read all your posts. You really should do better, seriously.

 

[Worndown]

I wish you the best however you choose.

 

[FinishingLine]

You don't deserve an explanation try google and you know what it is or you wouldn't have deleted your reply that I liked calling it nonsense. Yes you prey on vulnerable people on a suicide discussion site, I read all your posts. You really should do better, seriously.

Accepting apologies you should. Don´t be harsh.

 

[Klo]

Accepting apologies you should. Don´t be harsh.

The only reason you're not muted is so I can see how much of a troll/bad person you are. I told you to get the fuck out of my thread you could do that instead and I didn't see any apology.

 

[outrider567]

Damn, you're lucky, I cry each day

 

[Klo]

Damn, you're lucky, I cry each day

I used to cry everyday. I worked to suppress it but this was worse than that. I really want to die now.

 

[FuneralCry]

I'm sorry that you suffer so unbearably. I know that it is so dreadful when things just get worse. Living really is so painful. I can imagine that it must be really tiring being in that situation. I wish you relief from suffering.

 

[Graytaichi]

I haven really cried for almost a decade. Lost my emotions already. The only time i nesrly cried is when my mum dies and become a pile of ashes bones etc.