Help I have one more month but can't decide on a method

[lostmywhimsy]

My birthday is in a month and I still can't decide which method I'm gonna follow to ctb. I can't go out because my parents are very strict. But I'll somehow find a way to go out to kill myself.

I want to buy SN but I don't think its easily available where I live.

The methods I have now are jumping, drowning, using visine, and getting hit by a train.

Train is the easy way out for now because finding a 11 story building is hard or I have to find a hotel.

I have been doing research for other methods too but they are either impossible for me to try.

I'm panicking for the last two days. What if I can't kill myself?

 

[FuneralCry]

I hope you find peace, it's just so cruel to me how there isn't the option to just peacefully cease existing and never suffer again, I always suffer so much from how peaceful death is made inaccessible.

 

[houseofleaves]

I'd choose the train, but setting a strict deadline could be detrimental in your situation. A month is a very short time, it might be impossible to make a decision that fast.

 

[FrustratedMTFtrans]

My birthday is in a month and I still can't decide which method I'm gonna follow to ctb. I can't go out because my parents are very strict. But I'll somehow find a way to go out to kill myself.

I want to buy SN but I don't think its easily available where I live.

The methods I have now are jumping, drowning, using visine, and getting hit by a train.

Train is the easy way out for now because finding a 11 story building is hard or I have to find a hotel.

I have been doing research for other methods too but they are either impossible for me to try.

I'm panicking for the last two days. What if I can't kill myself?

Jumping (if sufficiently high) and getting hit by a train are instantaneous, but stressful for those seeing it, fatal if you happen to fall onto someone.

Drowning in deep water is effective if weighed down to prevent survival efforts and being found, and no one gets distressed about seeing the body.

In terms of doing CTB as a deathbed solution at home, Visine eye drops or certain suitable prescription drugs can do the job at home if you have a suitable prescription and get the dose right, and boost effects with alcohol, but those who find you may find it stressful. Other die-at-home options could in theory include non-prescription painkiller drugs, but they have been critizised for required fatal effects on liver and kidnies being delayed by days or weeks. I'm not sure as to whether it can be attractive if it can be made effective within a day with a really high overdose supported by alcohol.

I am quite attracted for my CTB in extracting 10 or so morello cherry seeds from cracked stones and well chewing them to release Amygdalin for cyanide development by saliva enzymes. Red and black cherries need much more to be taken. Apricot kernels are well known as being quite effective, if not quite so effective as morello cherry kernels however.

I think you can and will do it one way or another and can stop panicking when you've finally decided how to CTB on your birthday.

 

[lostmywhimsy]

Jumping (if sufficiently high) and getting hit by a train are instantaneous, but stressful for those seeing it, fatal if you happen to fall onto someone.

Drowning in deep water is effective if weighed down to prevent survival efforts and being found, and no one gets distressed about seeing the body.

In terms of doing CTB as a deathbed solution at home, Visine eye drops or certain suitable prescription drugs can do the job at home if you have a suitable prescription and get the dose right, and boost effects with alcohol, but those who find you may find it stressful. Other die-at-home options could in theory include non-prescription painkiller drugs, but they have been critizised for required fatal effects on liver and kidnies being delayed by days or weeks. I'm not sure as to whether it can be attractive if it can be made effective within a day with a really high overdose supported by alcohol.

I am quite attracted for my CTB in extracting 10 or so morello cherry seeds from cracked stones and well chewing them to release Amygdalin for cyanide development by saliva enzymes. Red and black cherries need much more to be taken. Apricot kernels are well known as being quite effective, if not quite so effective as morello cherry kernels however.

I think you can and will do it one way or another and can stop panicking when you've finally decided how to CTB on your birthday.

I'm so sorry for taking this long to reply. My mental health got worse. I'm afraid of falling onto someone too. It will probably be drowning or train I guess. I haven't heard of your method to ctb before. Thanks a lot for replying.

I hope you find peace, it's just so cruel to me how there isn't the option to just peacefully cease existing and never suffer again, I always suffer so much from how peaceful death is made inaccessible.

Yes, I really wish there was a way to get legally euthanized.

I'd choose the train, but setting a strict deadline could be detrimental in your situation. A month is a very short time, it might be impossible to make a decision that fast.

I did try once but chickened out at last minute. More than the pain I'm afraid of people somehow finding me attempt and fail.

 

[budbud29]

Jumping (if sufficiently high) and getting hit by a train are instantaneous, but stressful for those seeing it, fatal if you happen to fall onto someone.

Drowning in deep water is effective if weighed down to prevent survival efforts and being found, and no one gets distressed about seeing the body.

In terms of doing CTB as a deathbed solution at home, Visine eye drops or certain suitable prescription drugs can do the job at home if you have a suitable prescription and get the dose right, and boost effects with alcohol, but those who find you may find it stressful. Other die-at-home options could in theory include non-prescription painkiller drugs, but they have been critizised for required fatal effects on liver and kidnies being delayed by days or weeks. I'm not sure as to whether it can be attractive if it can be made effective within a day with a really high overdose supported by alcohol.

I am quite attracted for my CTB in extracting 10 or so morello cherry seeds from cracked stones and well chewing them to release Amygdalin for cyanide development by saliva enzymes. Red and black cherries need much more to be taken. Apricot kernels are well known as being quite effective, if not quite so effective as morello cherry kernels however.

I think you can and will do it one way or another and can stop panicking when you've finally decided how to CTB on your birthday.

How many apricot kernels would you have to eat ?

 

[FrustratedMTFtrans]

How many apricot kernels would you have to eat ?

About 30 kernels, if they are bitter apricots.

 

[budbud29]

About 30 kernels, if they are bitter apricots.

Wow I didn't even know this was a method until reading about it on here
Can you just swallow the kernels or do you have to chew them ?

 

[lostmywhimsy]

About 30 kernels, if they are bitter apricots.

I don't know if it's okay to ask this, but I feel easily nauseous and vomit it all out easily. I failed at my attempt before because I vomitted everything. How do I prevent from vomitting these bitter apricot kernerls?

 

[DeathSweetDeath]

Wow I didn't even know this was a method until reading about it on here
Can you just swallow the kernels or do you have to chew them ?

That's because it's not.
It's a science experiment that could succeed or fail.

 

[budbud29]

That's because it's not.
It's a science experiment that could succeed or fail.

It seems like nothing works unless it's brutally extreme like jumping from a building or using a gun. I wish to find a way that isn't so brutal

 

[DeathSweetDeath]

It seems like nothing works unless it's brutally extreme like jumping from a building or using a gun. I wish to find a way that isn't so brutal

I see you just recently joined. I'm going to go out on a limb & guess that you haven't taken the time to familiarize yourself with the site. The rest of the site doesn't make much sense if you don't start by reading the stickiedposts on the main page including the suicide resource compilation. The first time I came across this site, I didn't find them immediately either, and I didn't quite see the point of this place. That was months ago, and I now have two (not brutally extreme) methods in my possession.

 

[PanaxMan]

My birthday is in a month and I still can't decide which method I'm gonna follow to ctb. I can't go out because my parents are very strict. But I'll somehow find a way to go out to kill myself.

I want to buy SN but I don't think its easily available where I live.

The methods I have now are jumping, drowning, using visine, and getting hit by a train.

Train is the easy way out for now because finding a 11 story building is hard or I have to find a hotel.

I have been doing research for other methods too but they are either impossible for me to try.

I'm panicking for the last two days. What if I can't kill myself?

Vsed (a true non method for those with 0 will power though)

 

[iblamethemfr]

Jumping (if sufficiently high) and getting hit by a train are instantaneous, but stressful for those seeing it, fatal if you happen to fall onto someone.

Drowning in deep water is effective if weighed down to prevent survival efforts and being found, and no one gets distressed about seeing the body.

In terms of doing CTB as a deathbed solution at home, Visine eye drops or certain suitable prescription drugs can do the job at home if you have a suitable prescription and get the dose right, and boost effects with alcohol, but those who find you may find it stressful. Other die-at-home options could in theory include non-prescription painkiller drugs, but they have been critizised for required fatal effects on liver and kidnies being delayed by days or weeks. I'm not sure as to whether it can be attractive if it can be made effective within a day with a really high overdose supported by alcohol.

I am quite attracted for my CTB in extracting 10 or so morello cherry seeds from cracked stones and well chewing them to release Amygdalin for cyanide development by saliva enzymes. Red and black cherries need much more to be taken. Apricot kernels are well known as being quite effective, if not quite so effective as morello cherry kernels however.

I think you can and will do it one way or another and can stop panicking when you've finally decided how to CTB on your birthday.

But won't that lead to an instant vomiting? It's like taking an OD, the body will try to get rid of it

My birthday is in a month and I still can't decide which method I'm gonna follow to ctb. I can't go out because my parents are very strict. But I'll somehow find a way to go out to kill myself.

I want to buy SN but I don't think its easily available where I live.

The methods I have now are jumping, drowning, using visine, and getting hit by a train.

Train is the easy way out for now because finding a 11 story building is hard or I have to find a hotel.

I have been doing research for other methods too but they are either impossible for me to try.

I'm panicking for the last two days. What if I can't kill myself?

Me too, but i'm not planning on jumping nor getting hit by a train, I'm on drowning but where I'm looking for methods that are painless and the best option is SN

 

[FrustratedMTFtrans]

Wow I didn't even know this was a method until reading about it on here
Can you just swallow the kernels or do you have to chew them ?

Swallowing the kernels doesn't achieve anything. You have to thoroughly chew them. Only then is amygdalin released, which reacts with enzymes in the saliva and intestines to create hydrogen cyanide (HCN) and benzaldehyde, presence of which is recognized by its almond-like flavor.

 

[bl33ding_heart]

I'm in the exact same situation, it's so difficult to settle on one method lol.

 

[thefirstluminary]

My birthday is in a month and I still can't decide which method I'm gonna follow to ctb. I can't go out because my parents are very strict. But I'll somehow find a way to go out to kill myself.

I want to buy SN but I don't think its easily available where I live.

The methods I have now are jumping, drowning, using visine, and getting hit by a train.

Train is the easy way out for now because finding a 11 story building is hard or I have to find a hotel.

I have been doing research for other methods too but they are either impossible for me to try.

I'm panicking for the last two days. What if I can't kill myself?

 

[marleybarley]

That's because it's not.
It's a science experiment that could succeed or fail.

I see you just recently joined. I'm going to go out on a limb & guess that you haven't taken the time to familiarize yourself with the site. The rest of the site doesn't make much sense if you don't start by reading the stickiedposts on the main page including the suicide resource compilation. The first time I came across this site, I didn't find them immediately either, and I didn't quite see the point of this place. That was months ago, and I now have two (not brutally extreme) methods in my possession.

Hey can you private message me please thank you

 

[DeathSweetDeath]

Hey can you private message me please thank you

I would if I could but I can't; you're too new. You have to write a certain number of comments or posts before the site starts making certain things available to you .

 

[marleybarley]

I would if I could but I can't; you're too new. You have to write a certain number of comments or posts before the site starts making certain things available to you .

i get it just saw you knew about non brutal ways wanted to see what were they if you dont mind answering

 

[DeathSweetDeath]

i get it just saw you knew about non brutal ways wanted to see what were they if you dont mind answering

Everyone who has access to this site has access to info about non brutal ways. If they can find their way around the site.

The suicide resource compilation holds all the answers, find the stickied threads on the main page of this part of the site "Suicide Discussion", and the answers will be yours.

The two methods that I've chosen from that list are nitrogen + exit bag and SN.

 

[Unworthyhuman]

I drank 10 bottles of visine and puked, got no medical attention and i'm still here. feel like it would take more and would have to space out ingestion and possible combine with other substances. jumping off a building or in front of a train feels like I would have to be intoxicated too, I think to much of other people when it comes to these methods. it's terrible we can't just decide our time is done and allow our bodies to be used for people who want to live. I want to escape to this prison too!

 

[marleybarley]

I drank 10 bottles of visine and puked, got no medical attention and i'm still here. feel like it would take more and would have to space out ingestion and possible combine with other substances. jumping off a building or in front of a train feels like I would have to be intoxicated too, I think to much of other people when it comes to these methods. it's terrible we can't just decide our time is done and allow our bodies to be used for people who want to live. I want to escape to this prison too!

yeah visine doesnt work

 

[Unworthyhuman]

yeah visine doesnt work

i'm thinking it could with more bottles spaced over hours, not days....it does work as people have been murdered with it. just gotta find the technique, amount, time, and maybe adding substances.

 

[marleybarley]

Everyone who has access to this site has access to info about non brutal ways. If they can find their way around the site.

The suicide resource compilation holds all the answers, find the stickied threads on the main page of this part of the site "Suicide Discussion", and the answers will be yours.

The two methods that I've chosen from that list are nitrogen + exit bag and SN.

thank you for replying