HappySisyphus
One must imagine Sisyphus happy
- Aug 3, 2023
- 32
So all of my mental health issues previously were simply emotional, but recently they seem to be affecting my reality as well, I have no idea how to explain this but it is like my perception of reality changes every few minutes, I'm in my room and it seems so distant like it is a new place, and that feeling resets from time to time, I know it's the same place I was minutes ago but it doesn't feel like it, it just feels odd, like some uncanny valley sort of thing. It feels like when I smoke weed but less strong, and scarrier since when I'm high I know it will end but this just keeps going.
It is not only that too, the last weeks I've been feeling I'm in a Truman Show situation, I know it's irrational which is why I even bother explaining it, the world doesn't feel as real as before, everything is too convenient, it feels like everything is just a big joke.
Yesterday was the worst day regarding all of this, I went to watch the Fnaf movie with some friends and like at 9PM I was coming home with one of them on a bus, all the time I was on that bus and looked at the windows, everything seemed the same as places I have seen thousands of time, I know we were pretty far from where I live yet everything seemed exactly the same, all of the building looked like ones I see everyday when I walk to school. When we got off the bus everything got worse, I just felt so off, it was very cold and rainy but the cold just felt so different to how it had always felt, like the cold just bounced up from my skin but I still felt it. When me and my friend went separate ways I felt so scared, I don't even know why, my house was just a few blocks away, I have taken that path a lot of times before and when it was later, but it was one of the most terrifying experiences I can remember having.
It is not only that too, the last weeks I've been feeling I'm in a Truman Show situation, I know it's irrational which is why I even bother explaining it, the world doesn't feel as real as before, everything is too convenient, it feels like everything is just a big joke.
Yesterday was the worst day regarding all of this, I went to watch the Fnaf movie with some friends and like at 9PM I was coming home with one of them on a bus, all the time I was on that bus and looked at the windows, everything seemed the same as places I have seen thousands of time, I know we were pretty far from where I live yet everything seemed exactly the same, all of the building looked like ones I see everyday when I walk to school. When we got off the bus everything got worse, I just felt so off, it was very cold and rainy but the cold just felt so different to how it had always felt, like the cold just bounced up from my skin but I still felt it. When me and my friend went separate ways I felt so scared, I don't even know why, my house was just a few blocks away, I have taken that path a lot of times before and when it was later, but it was one of the most terrifying experiences I can remember having.
