Venting I have never dated and will die alone

[Morte]

This is just an excuse for emotionaly immature people. If you really love someone then you'll help them through anything, no matter how bad it is. Forcing people to fix themselves single handedly until they'll "qualify" enough to go into the dating world is the most awful thing to do ever. Especially because I see people in a bad mental state get into relationships all the time, and they are doing just fine. Getting a partner helps a lot, and everyone who says it's not gonna fix anything is just lying to themselves.

I share this sentiment. If someone isn't willing to be with you at your worst, then they don't deserve you at your best or at any other time. Those who truly love, will love unconditionally. I think couples who break apart because of circumstances, only loved the comforts.
I would rather be alone forever than share my time with a fake relationship.

 

[Still here]

What I have experienced in relationships is not to expect any reciprocation. No matter how much you give you can never expect the same in return and the moment there's any effort involved, they leave. As a result, I have lost faith in trying to find a partner or even date.

You're right... I believe relationships have to be two way traffic,..

meaning that we both put in the effort to improve it and make it better, but this day and age we are living in you might almost find yourself in a one sided relationship where you are the one doing all the stuff initiating convos,proposing dates,giving money and etc...

And this normally rests on the shoulders of the guy/boy while the other part is just dong nothing to work on the rltnshp... It's so sad tbh...

 

[MyShadow]

You're right... I believe relationships have to be two way traffic,..

meaning that we both put in the effort to improve it and make it better, but this day and age we are living in you might almost find yourself in a one sided relationship where you are the one doing all the stuff initiating convos,proposing dates,giving money and etc...

And this normally rests on the shoulders of the guy/boy while the other part is just dong nothing to work on the rltnshp... It's so sad tbh...

I completely agree, sadly my experience falls in line with what you describe above.

 

[cemeteryismyhome]

I would desperately love to be alone. Privacy. No complications.

 

[kopebaldy]

I never really place much importance on dating and completely fine with the fact I'll die alone.

Still, it kinda feels bad knowing that you're so repulsive and undesirable that noone wants you out of 8 billions people.

 

[whenisitmyturn]

why is there no help at all for people like us

 

[Michelstaedter]

I'll be honest, I don't think there are any particular bad things that make you undeserving of affection, love, or whatever it is that comes with having a girlfriend. I've seen guys who are mean, abusive, criminals, and have wives and kids (what the hell is wrong with you that's worse than them?) Therefore, I don't think there's anything wrong with you that would make you think you don't have a girlfriend because of it, or that you "should change your image," or things like that, which are actually the typical tips from teen magazines that perhaps worked in the 80s or 90s, but no longer do.

On the other hand, it is also true that you are not going to have a partner and that it will not happen, unless "a miracle" happens, since at your age they had already told me that "it will happen", that one day I would have a girlfriend and that he would surely be an incredible boyfriend... But no, almost 15 years older than you I have experienced that it never happened, it is not going to happen because I am a NEET who for a woman will be worthless and even if I had not been, the formula would not change, I would simply be interesting to perhaps work and earn money, but there will be other options just like me and I will not be "valuable", because for some reason I am not attractive to women.

Conclusion? You're not going to have a girlfriend, get your head around it. It's sad and cruel, but the chances are slim, and it's not like things are any better as a couple...

The only thing I'd find interesting about having a relationship is if we left this horrible world together and both agreed on it.

 

[Codename_Joryu]

I've seen guys who are mean, abusive, criminals, and have wives and kids (what the hell is wrong with you that's worse than them?) Therefore, I don't think there's anything wrong with you that would make you think you don't have a girlfriend because of it

Being a good person doesn't grant you a partner, girls aren't prizes for good behaviour. There are certain laws of attraction in the dating world, and for some reason I just can't follow any of them. I'm just not someone that girls would consider as a boyfriend material, I don't know what the reason is and at this point I'm too tired to figure it out.

 

[sadsuif8765]

I would desperately love to be alone. Privacy. No complications.

Same but I love to be alone but I hate feeling alone if you get what I mean

 

[Still here]

I'll be honest, I don't think there are any particular bad things that make you undeserving of affection, love, or whatever it is that comes with having a girlfriend. I've seen guys who are mean, abusive, criminals, and have wives and kids (what the hell is wrong with you that's worse than them?) Therefore, I don't think there's anything wrong with you that would make you think you don't have a girlfriend because of it, or that you "should change your image," or things like that, which are actually the typical tips from teen magazines that perhaps worked in the 80s or 90s, but no longer do.

On the other hand, it is also true that you are not going to have a partner and that it will not happen, unless "a miracle" happens, since at your age they had already told me that "it will happen", that one day I would have a girlfriend and that he would surely be an incredible boyfriend... But no, almost 15 years older than you I have experienced that it never happened, it is not going to happen because I am a NEET who for a woman will be worthless and even if I had not been, the formula would not change, I would simply be interesting to perhaps work and earn money, but there will be other options just like me and I will not be "valuable", because for some reason I am not attractive to women.

Conclusion? You're not going to have a girlfriend, get your head around it. It's sad and cruel, but the chances are slim, and it's not like things are any better as a couple...

The only thing I'd find interesting about having a relationship is if we left this horrible world together and both agreed on it.

Conclusion? You're not going to have a girlfriend, get your head around it. It's sad and cruel, but the chances are slim, and it's not like things are any better as a couple...

I should get my head around this fact..

 

[Vlad Tepes]

Real

 

[Michelstaedter]

Being a good person doesn't grant you a partner, girls aren't prizes for good behaviour. There are certain laws of attraction in the dating world, and for some reason I just can't follow any of them. I'm just not someone that girls would consider as a boyfriend material, I don't know what the reason is and at this point I'm too tired to figure it out.

That's right, being a good person doesn't guarantee you'll have a girlfriend, but I have to say I've seen some really good guys with girlfriends, and I'm glad. The plus is when the girl is a good person, and then the balance is great, because if one of them is a bad person, I feel sorry for the other...

I came to think it was a curse, in fact I had a tendency to think about magical and spiritual things, I believed there was some kind of curse hanging over me since no matter what I did I couldn't attract the girl I liked and look how my standards were normal and even low, it's not like I liked the most beautiful ones, because I always had a tendency to look for girls who didn't even stand out for their beauty, however I wasn't lucky even like that.

And yes, it's very tiring. Throughout my teenage years and college, I felt so, so depressed that I don't know if that has to do with my disenchantment with the world. Back then, I might have been disenchanted with the world, but my motivation and dream was to get a girlfriend.

 

[divinemistress36]

Most relationships are temporary . They arent worth the heart break . You are very young you have plenty of time to experience heart break as time goes on Its hormones, oxytocin, dopamine that are released around someone you like mostly to get people to procreate (unless you are gay/lesbian). Like other people have said they are transactional

 

[lwovely]

Do you honestly think that anyone is capable of fixing themselves alone? Especially people with bad mental issues like autism, adhd, OCD, ect.? Everyone deserves love, even people struggling with things that they often don't talk about. And also about that "You see people who are struggling getting into relationships but you don't see the improvement they're doing to keep their partner.". Well, why do you think they are doing the improvement, genius? I never said that having a partner would automatically turn your life around, I'm just saying that it helps a lot.

I never go for looks because it's shallow and fucked up. I had a crush on several girls that I didn't even find physically attractive, simply because I liked their personality.

Yes anybody is capable of fixing themselves alone if you want to do the work. Everyone deserves love but do you not realize the people who are in relationships put the effort in to get themselves together? They are doing the improvement not just for their partner, it's for themselves. Yes it helps tremendously but you cannot rely on your partner to recover. People can only handle so much in relationships and it's their choice to stay or leave.

If you're going to get into a relationship without putting in the work before and during, you're really weird for doing so.

 

[Codename_Joryu]

Everyone deserves love but do you not realize the people who are in relationships put the effort in to get themselves together? They are doing the improvement not just for their partner, it's for themselves. Yes it helps tremendously but you cannot rely on your partner to recover.

When did I ever said something about 100% relying on your partner to fix you? It's obvious that it's not possible, but real love can give people that push they need to really get their shit together. If there's no one worth fixing yourself for then what makes you think that someone will even try?

Yes anybody is capable of fixing themselves alone if you want to do the work.

Sure, tell that to every struggling person while not even knowing half of their story. I've been trying for almost 8 years now and you can guess how that's going for me.

No offense, but you are fucking delusional as hell. Makes me wonder what people like you are even doing on that site in the first place.

 

[Aloneandinpain]

I'm more than twice your anhe and still waiting for the girlfriend that never comes. I used to believe all the bullshit about there being someone for everyone and being patient. I mean, I'm still sure there's a girl out there who would be a great match but I'm also sure she'll reject me before we even have the chance to click.

 

[Blueberry Panic]

I've had so many partners in my life and as much as it is nice yo not be alone ... people will always abandon you when things get rough.

Trust in yourself because you're all you've got in the end.
I've had so many partners in my life and as much as it is nice yo not be alone ... people will always abandon you when things get rough.

Trust in yourself because you're all you've got in the end.

 

[lwovely]

When did I ever said something about 100% relying on your partner to fix you? It's obvious that it's not possible, but real love can give people that push they need to really get their shit together. If there's no one worth fixing yourself for then what makes you think that someone will even try?



Sure, tell that to every struggling person while not even knowing half of their story. I've been trying for almost 8 years now and you can guess how that's going for me.

No offense, but you are fucking delusional as hell. Makes me wonder what people like you are even doing on that site in the first place.

This is what I'm talking about when I meant that you need to push yourself to recover. You cannot rely on the hope that someone will be worth fixing yourself for. I used to have this mindset and it hurt me more. I had to fix myself for myself. Not everyone will stay and it's my decision whether I want to recover for my own good or not.

I've been struggling with depression throughout my childhood and even as an adult (I am 20 btw). I never disagreed with you that love can give you the push but you need to do some of the work yourself before you even go into a relationship. That is honestly just common sense. Especially if you struggle with low confidence, you tend to take it out on people even if it's unintentional.

You call me delusional but yet you do not know my story which just shows your ignorance. I've been in a long term relationship and I had to recover by myself before I went into one so yes I do have experience. Seeing people like you invalidate my experience just really shows what kind of person you are just cause I disagreed. I am on this site because talking with other people struggling with similar issues helps me recover.

I'm sorry if it's not going well for you and I wish you well.

 

[Codename_Joryu]

This is what I'm talking about when I meant that you need to push yourself to recover. You cannot rely on the hope that someone will be worth fixing yourself for. I used to have this mindset and it hurt me more. I had to fix myself for myself. Not everyone will stay and it's my decision whether I want to recover for my own good or not.

I've been struggling with depression throughout my childhood and even as an adult (I am 20 btw). I never disagreed with you that love can give you the push but you need to do some of the work yourself before you even go into a relationship. That is honestly just common sense. Especially if you struggle with low confidence, you tend to take it out on people even if it's unintentional.

You call me delusional but yet you do not know my story which just shows your ignorance. I've been in a long term relationship and I had to recover by myself before I went into one so yes I do have experience. Seeing people like you invalidate my experience just really shows what kind of person you are just cause I disagreed. I am on this site because talking with other people struggling with similar issues helps me recover.

I'm sorry if it's not going well for you and I wish you well.

I understand. And I apologize as well for lashing out at you, that was a terrible behaviour on my side.

 

[Aloneandinpain]

Yes anybody is capable of fixing themselves alone if you want to do the work. Everyone deserves love but do you not realize the people who are in relationships put the effort in to get themselves together? They are doing the improvement not just for their partner, it's for themselves. Yes it helps tremendously but you cannot rely on your partner to recover. People can only handle so much in relationships and it's their choice to stay or leave.

If you're going to get into a relationship without putting in the work before and during, you're really weird for doing so.

This is bullshit in a lot of cases. The reason I'm not doing great is because of endless rejection and lonliness.

I completely failed to find a girlfriend back when I was so much more positive, optimistic and less depressed, and it is the rejection and loneliness that has destroyed me.

I didn't have any significant "work" to put in years ago yet that still meant zero relationships. Plus there's all kinds of assholes and messed up lazy people who have endless relationships, sex, romance, kids etc.

The phrase "putting in the work" is just some bullshit phrase used to make people think they'll magically get a partner if they complete certain quests or do bullshit therapy, but it's simply not true in most cases.

 

[NutOrat]

@Morte Sorry, offtopic, that's such a cool Mega Man art on your pfp!!! <3 Can you tell me the author or give a link?

 

[Dukey]

I'm gonna CTB because of heartbreak but i understand and empathize I'm 27 turning 28

I had a few short relationships when i was a teen never actually in love tho. I'm quite attractive (don't want to sound arrogant) had some casual sex here and there.

But recently i fell in love someone i had an actual connection with. I was so lonely and depressed for so long but i could cope at least and distract myself and still enjoy things.

My relationship didn't even last that long 3 months, with a month of intense talking before meeting up.

I was genuinely happy and felt like i finally met my person and had hope for the future. I finally felt like i mattered to someone.

Know how it ended? Me being blocked and discarded like thrash i begged and pleaded for them not to leave got called a psycho and obsessive.

I opened my heart up to someone exposed all my vulnerabilities only to be thrown away like yesterday's thrash and got my heart stomped on

It's a different kind of pain when the one person that meant the world to you could care less if you bled out on the street.

Now i feel lonely with extreme emotional pain abandonedment/trust issues and any confidence i had is completely gone

Not saying this to devalue your experiences I'm just saying love sucks i unironically would not be suicidal and wanting to CTB if i never met this person

The grass ain't Greener on the other side.

 

[notreallybored]

ב''ה, there's really no difference between dating and contracting with a sex worker except the murkiness of the contract.

Weirdly this applies as much to the more asexual side of "companionship."