think.like
asteroid destroyer
- Jan 17, 2026
- 9
I've got everything I ever wanted. I have the sweetest boyfriend I couls ever have, I have 2 beautiful pets that I'm absolutly in love with, I acomplished exactly what I wanted yet I'm still unhappy. I still wish I was dead. I recently had a panick attack and I cut myself because I haven't saw a better option. I felt euphoric, the warm blood coming out of me felt like a hug but the aftermath made everything terrible. My boyfriend's scared that I'm gonna kms, taking care of the wound is so tiring and the paranoia about ppl finding out makes me wanna throw up. I thought I found something that made me feel good for once but it only made everything worse. I don't even take my mh meds anymore cuz they are a disgusting piece of shit that doesn't help. I don't wanna hurt anyone with my death, I just want to feel peace. I haven't felt it for almost 4 years and I'm so tired I can't even get out of my own stinky bed. I was happy today but reality came back to me. Being mentaly fucked up, physically fucked up and not knowing how to handle a basic human interraction is too much. I just wanna break but my chronic ilnesses will never give me it so I guess I just NEED to die. I'm so sorry Connie, I don't deserve a boyfriend like you.
