I have been in hospital for awhile and it has shown there is no fix for me.

[BillyBob]

I have been in hospital for an anorexia nervosa and are sure that there is no other option but to CTB now.
It has become clear that I will never actually overcome it and the urges it causes to binge or not eat in general.
There is no normal want to eat anymore and after being in hospital I am now fatter, feel ugly and hate touching my body as well as the look of it.
Going to hospital was my last chance at trying to live a normal life and in reality I will never live a so called normal life now days.
Death is going to be the only option that will being any sort of peace to my life which is sad but the truth at this point.

Sorry for venting, I am just at a point that I have to now plan to CTB soon to end the suffering.
Most of the planning has been done, just need to finish off my notes and then set a date to go.

 

[cbtvvxxvvv]

hospitals have zero respect or care for how you chose to live your life. they shove their rules , medications , diets all on you to turn you "normal". it will never change never. the system is broken by design.

curious on what method you are deciding to go with? :3

 

[BillyBob]

hospitals have zero respect or care for how you chose to live your life. they shove their rules , medications , diets all on you to turn you "normal". it will never change never. the system is broken by design.

curious on what method you are deciding to go with? :3

I have access to a few methods I have collected over the years. Will be going with SN and if some how I make it through that then I will choose H2S

 

[cbtvvxxvvv]

if SN is the main one just follow protocol to ensure you don't have to use H2S. SN is very good at what it does as long as you follow the steps to ensure it stays in your body the required time

 

[fightclub17]

I have access to a few methods I have collected over the years. Will be going with SN and if some how I make it through that then I will choose H2S

Sorry I'm new here, what's H2S?

 

[BillyBob]

Sorry I'm new here, what's H2S?

hydrogen sulfide, very lethal gas. It is really dangerous and needs warning signs post since a few breaths could kill you.

Hydrogen sulfide - Wikipedia

en.wikipedia.org

 

[fightclub17]

hydrogen sulfide, very lethal gas. It is really dangerous and needs warning signs post since a few breaths could kill you.

Hydrogen sulfide - Wikipedia

en.wikipedia.org

Oh thank you. I wonder how that compares with helium?

 

[BillyBob]

Oh thank you. I wonder how that compares with helium?

If you have pure helium then it is the better way to go. H2S is just a dirty way to go out.
Although even though H2S smells like rotten eggs, you lose all sense of smell after the first breath or 2.
(I tested it years ago in a small jar and 1 breath removed all sense of smell and made breathing hard from lack of oxygen)

 

[noah12]

If you have pure helium then it is the better way to go. H2S is just a dirty way to go out.
Although even though H2S smells like rotten eggs, you lose all sense of smell after the first breath or 2.
(I tested it years ago in a small jar and 1 breath removed all sense of smell and made breathing hard from lack of oxygen)

Did it hurt? I want to ctb with H2S in my car.

 

[BillyBob]

Did it hurt? I want to ctb with H2S in my car.

Didn't hurt at all. It was rather peaceful and after a few seconds you lose all sense of smell and SI.
It was only a test so doing the full amount would kill rather fast since the ppm of H2S builds very fast.
After the one breath of the test I was struggling to breath afterwards, well like I was going to pass out fast with lack of oxygen.
For few weeks afterwards, I was still having issues as it felt like fluid in my lungs or something which was a pain but it went away.
So I wouldn't recommend testing it and smelling it like I did.

Over all it was rather peaceful test

 

[noah12]

Didn't hurt at all. It was rather peaceful and after a few seconds you lose all sense of smell and SI.
It was only a test so doing the full amount would kill rather fast since the ppm of H2S builds very fast.
After the one breath of the test I was struggling to breath afterwards, well like I was going to pass out fast with lack of oxygen.
For few weeks afterwards, I was still having issues as it felt like fluid in my lungs or something which was a pain but it went away.
So I wouldn't recommend testing it and smelling it like I did.

Over all it was rather peaceful test

Wow, it really sounds peaceful. Thanks for sharing your experience.

I've been thinking about using 600g of Na₂S with 3L of HCl, but I don't know if it's too much or too little to make me go unconscious fast enough.

 

[BillyBob]

Wow, it really sounds peaceful. Thanks for sharing your experience.

I've been thinking about using 600g of Na₂S with 3L of HCl, but I don't know if it's too much or too little to make me go unconscious fast enough.

This video here shows you the tests with a meter that the hazmat done using this method

 

[noah12]

This video here shows you the tests with a meter that the hazmat done using this method

So it only takes 9 minutes to be lethal, that's really fast

 

[inneedrelief]

Im confused about your post so you said you did h2s in other comments but ended up in my hospital?

 

[BillyBob]

Im confused about your post so you said you did h2s in other comments but ended up in my hospital?

I was in hospital for my eating disorder. For the H2S that will be my back up method if I some how fail the SN one.
Btw I only done a test for the H2S, never actually wanted to die from it. Just wanted to see how it worked first.

 

[inneedrelief]

I was in hospital for my eating disorder. For the H2S that will be my back up method if I some how fail the SN one.
Btw I only done a test for the H2S, never actually wanted to die from it. Just wanted to see how it worked first.

You can go blind from h2s and have lung damage. And sn if it goes wrong (which I've tried sn and threw it up and am fine now). If sn goes wrong I heard it can cause damage