Venting I HATE social interaction as a concept-

[PenPen<3]

It truly feels like almost no relationships are meant to last and they always end up so toxic. I know it's very often my fault but holy shit people are just so terrible. I've been told that I'm not depressed and that my suicidal thoughts come from circumstance and I can see why. It makes me sick thinking about some of the people I used to know, and the only way I get anything done is by forgetting about them. It's just such a disgusting thought and it always feels like we're just torturing ourselves even when we're happy. I don't know if something's wrong with me but it feels like being in a relationship is inherently perverted even when I know it's not. I just can't help but be disgusted by all the stuff people do, even when it's small things.

 

[tonicer]

Why are relationships perverted? I am a 43 year old KHHV guy and i always thought having a partner would turn this dark and ugly world into something a little bit more beautiful and worthwhile.

 

[PenPen<3]

Why are relationships perverted? I am a 43 year old KHHV guy and i always thought having a partner would turn this dark and ugly world into something a little bit more beautiful and worthwhile.

I don't think they're perverted even tho it usually feels that way. It's less relationships at the start but whenever I get to know people romantically they always seem so much more interested and passionate about sexual things than romantic ones. I think it's just a feeling that comes from me having really bad experience with others. Like my ex was extremely sexual and I felt so gross about it, esp with the things they offered to do. Or one person I'm friends with will make constant sexual remarks towards me with no engagement, but when I try to talk about anything else they get really distant and vague. It's less that I believe rls are perverted, I just feel like people are perverted towards me, maybe because I engage with it too much or encourage it idk