PROJECT: Extase
Starlit
- Jan 11, 2024
- 64
Hi everyone,
First of all if you guys/girls wanna know a little about why i wanna ctb, you should read this.
I've been planning to ctb via hanging because this is probably the less painfull way for me, actually one of the only ways for me to make sure i die considering that: i I got no gun, no high location to jump off, no waters where i could drown myself in, no meds, no drugs, no chemicals ( Except the combo paracetamol+alcohol but it takes 3 painfull days to kill you and, as im living with my familly i'll get rescued at 100%). Probably won't die to cutting myself, i don't have sharp knives here. Its also pretty painfull. Hanging is the only way that will work at 100% if i can do it correctly.
Thing is, i don't have many ropes that are actually good. No need to precise that trying to buy anything "suspect" while living with my familly isn't even worth trying.
I've decided to use my dog's leash for this, its the best i've got. I actually think that it is pretty good for this purpose. But im just devasted that i'll have to resort to this. I love my dog so much, she's the only one i know who seems to genuinely love me, and i feel so guilty to leave her down there on earth, especially if i use something that is hers for it. I can't belive i thought about doing this in the first place. I'm sad. Such a bad owner, and the worst is that she'll still love me anyways no matter what. I'm so sorry, Artemis.
Aint too much real lovers here no more
And god thinks i should go hell
Because i want to make it end
But i dont wanna struggle anymore
First of all if you guys/girls wanna know a little about why i wanna ctb, you should read this.
I've been planning to ctb via hanging because this is probably the less painfull way for me, actually one of the only ways for me to make sure i die considering that: i I got no gun, no high location to jump off, no waters where i could drown myself in, no meds, no drugs, no chemicals ( Except the combo paracetamol+alcohol but it takes 3 painfull days to kill you and, as im living with my familly i'll get rescued at 100%). Probably won't die to cutting myself, i don't have sharp knives here. Its also pretty painfull. Hanging is the only way that will work at 100% if i can do it correctly.
Thing is, i don't have many ropes that are actually good. No need to precise that trying to buy anything "suspect" while living with my familly isn't even worth trying.
I've decided to use my dog's leash for this, its the best i've got. I actually think that it is pretty good for this purpose. But im just devasted that i'll have to resort to this. I love my dog so much, she's the only one i know who seems to genuinely love me, and i feel so guilty to leave her down there on earth, especially if i use something that is hers for it. I can't belive i thought about doing this in the first place. I'm sad. Such a bad owner, and the worst is that she'll still love me anyways no matter what. I'm so sorry, Artemis.
Aint too much real lovers here no more
And god thinks i should go hell
Because i want to make it end
But i dont wanna struggle anymore
