angelana
running with the colors
- Oct 1, 2023
- 7
I hate myself for looking like how i do, I hate myself for not being enough for anybody especially the people i love the most and i hate myself for being myself. my mom can only tell me what i do wrong and how she misses the person i used to be and how i killed him so now i think why not just kill myself now nobody will care and if anything I'll be making other peoples lives easier my friends won't have to care about me my bf won't need to worry about me my mom won't need to take care of me my teachers won't need to grade my stuff it's not like i do well anyways. i can't fucking try hard enough anymore because i don't care anymore. i'm so bad at it that my teacher tells me that and i can't write a god damn paper so what the fuck is the point of me trying anymore it hurts so bad to even be alive. one of my lung is compressed by a problem in my chest so even breathing is painful the doctor just said to take ibuprofen. my mom said i'm the reason she hates her life. i'm unlovable and weird and there's no point in going on in a life like this if all im going to feel is pain and suffering and all im going to do in this life is hurt the people i care about and the worst part is i don't feel strong enough to CBT but i think i might be able to but i still don't know does anyone have advice for fear or anything idk i hate myself im sorry for wasting anybody's time im sorry i exist im sorry im so stupid and cant even write complete sentences correctly im sorry.
