I hate my parents so much

[BipolarGuy]

They gave me life without asking me whether I even wanna be here

Your complaint about your parents is that they gave you life without asking you first if you want it.

Do me a favour.
Reread that, slowly.
Twice.

 

[Lupgevif]

Your complaint about your parents is that they gave you life without asking you first if you want it.

Do me a favour.
Reread that, slowly.
Twice.

OP actually complained about a lot more than that, reread their post.

 

[kqlysrsly]

Breeders are the worst kind of people. Yours seem like the King and Queen of those people.

I'm really sorry.

 

[ophiastri]

Your complaint about your parents is that they gave you life without asking you first if you want it.

Do me a favour.
Reread that, slowly.
Twice.

It's just colloquial speech. No need to be rude about it. I don't think anyone believes that parents can ask an unborn child anything. The idea of forcing someone to live in this world is what many of us find repugnant regardless of whether or not they "asked" their offspring

 

[SipSop]

Good.
Is good to hate those who did you wrong and get retribution.
We are teached to turn the other cheek by those who hit us. Is unnatural and unfair. It turns us in servants and slaves.
Respect those who you want to respect, not those who they pressure you to respect out of tradition or dogma.
Self-respect is hard if you were teached that your value is determined by other people approval.
Therefore, you must judge what is worth your respect and what not based on what feels right to you, helpful to you.

 

[LastFlowers]

I think it's pretty selfish of you to want everyone to die and no more births because you're unhappy.

Simple minds will simplify what I said as you have. You haven't reached the level of suffering I have, obviously. Your eyes are still closed. You wouldn't last a moment in my position. So don't speak of things you know nothing about. You call me selfish, but how selfish is anyone else for greedily gulping up everything the world has to offer while others starve to death and breathe life through a straw? If I could grant equal standing and privilege to every person, I would. Whether that be eternal happiness or an end to humanity. And if someone else suffering even more than me wanted to take the whole world out because they were forced to be a tortured witness with no life of their own, then I would respect that conclusion they had no choice but to come to. Hate to break it to you, but your happiness isn't worth another person's hell. And if you believe otherwise, then you speak as a hypocrite toward me.

 

[fox21132113]

Can you just leave? That's what I did at a young age and I never looked back. I feel better than I did

 

[LastFlowers]

If you can't have the good life no one else should either. Is that what you mean? I don't understand how the others in your family are so much luckier than you are. In what ways?

Refer to my other reply. And even you wording it the way you have, how is that so hard to understand? No one else deserves "the good life" over another, myself included if I had that. The embodiment of any lack of the so called "good life" is irrelevant as it comes in so many forms and is affecting to people in different ways.

You also have to factor in that the conversation started off about parents and how they bring children into the world without the ability to ask for consent, and then if the child wakes into a body or life of suffering..often the parents just throw it in their face as do the people around them. They don't feel bad about risking this possibility when procreating because their own desires trump those who they are thrusting into the womb. So you risk a bad outcome, then you actually get one, and the child is forced to suffer for years and witness that lack of suffering in others like a carrot at the end of a stick.. and eventually be forced to end that suffering in yet another painful and exhaustive final step of their lives.
If we cannot prevent suffering in the continuation of life then it is not worth it to keep the process going, to let some suffer as the bad scratch cards just so other people can get a chance at a good one.

You and the other user are acting as if I actually have control of taking away the happiness of everyone on this earth, of course I do not. This is a somewhat philosophical thinking process as much as it is a view point from a ring of hell that you have yet to encounter, otherwise you wouldn't be asking me these questions, especially on a site like this. And that is all I have to say on it to people who have not gotten to the point where they question things like this. It's pointless, like trying to convert pro-lifers and people who do not grasp the quality imbalance of life. It's gone on long enough as far as I'm concerned.

 

[ophiastri]

Refer to my other reply. And even you wording it the way you have, how is that so hard to understand? No one else deserves "the good life" over another, myself included if I had that. The embodiment of any lack of the so called "good life" is irrelevant as it comes in so many forms and is affecting to people in different ways.

You also have to factor in that the conversation started off about parents and how they bring children into the world without the ability to ask for consent, and then if the child wakes into a body or life of suffering..often the parents just throw it in their face as do the people around them. They don't feel bad about risking this possibility when procreating because their own desires trump those who they are thrusting into the womb. So you risk a bad outcome, then you actually get one, and the child is forced to suffer for years and witness that lack of suffering in others like a carrot at the end of a stick.. and eventually be forced to end that suffering in yet another painful and exhaustive final step of their lives.
If we cannot prevent suffering in the continuation of life then it is not worth it to keep the process going, to let some suffer as the bad scratch cards just so other people can get a chance at a good one.

You and the other user are acting as if I actually have control of taking away the happiness of everyone on this earth, of course I do not. This is a somewhat philosophical thinking process as much as it is a view point from a ring of hell that you have yet to encounter, otherwise you wouldn't be asking me these questions, especially on a site like this. And that is all I have to say on it to people who have not gotten to the point where they question things like this. It's pointless, like trying to convert pro-lifers and people who do not grasp the quality imbalance of life. It's gone on long enough as far as I'm concerned.

A-fuckin'-men.

Even when people have good circumstances and can provide their children with money, food, medical treatment, and so on, it's still not ethical. It's so far beyond me why people who live, say, on the plains of Africa dealing with extreme poverty and parasites that have to be removed through the skin choose to procreate. Maybe it's because children would give them comfort or because they aren't educated enough to know how children pop out nine months after conception? I just don't get it. It's frustrating that we all have to deal with the consequences no matter how we turn out.

I will play devil's advocate though. Perhaps we are attributing to parents some degree of free will that they don't really have? There are certainly urges that I have that I just can't will out of existence, for instance having a snack when unbelievably stressed. I can tell myself I can't let it happen but my brain just won't take no for an answer with some things. Maybe the urge to have children is so incredibly strong in people it's like trying to tell them not to have food or relieve themselves. Not that it makes it okay of course, but that could be the case. Even if you can suppress it for a time, maybe it's something that always comes back for them.

 

[262653]

I will play devil's advocate though. Perhaps we are attributing to parents some degree of free will that they don't really have? There are certainly urges that I have that I just can't will out of existence, for instance having a snack when unbelievably stressed. I can tell myself I can't let it happen but my brain just won't take no for an answer with some things. Maybe the urge to have children is so incredibly strong in people it's like trying to tell them not to have food or relieve themselves. Not that it makes it okay of course, but that could be the case. Even if you can suppress it for a time, maybe it's something that always comes back for them.

I do think that some urges, like procreation, are too damn strong. I'm convinced that, when strong enough, these urges can overwrite all reasoning, all the pain and suffering that might rise as the consequence of urged actions, and sometimes even the well-being of the urged person.
Torture and rape are good examples. If the torture is "good" enough, I'd sign any document only to stop it for a while, if it means someone will get hurt more than I do, or even if I'm signing for, let's say, 200 years of soul suffering, maybe even an eternity. The pain in the present moment is so intense it leaves no room for disobedience or compromise.
The Rape scenario is the opposite example here, a pleasure so intense it demands fulfillment right now whatever it takes, consent becomes irrelevant, the possible negative consequences for both parties become irrelevant.

So what we end up with are people who bound to satisfy personal desires at the expense of others. A tragedy, really. But I find it funny, so I'd rather call it tragicomedy.

 

[ophiastri]

I do think that some urges, like procreation, are too damn strong. I'm convinced that, when strong enough, these urges can overwrite all reasoning, all the pain and suffering that might rise as the consequence of urged actions, and sometimes even the well-being of the urged person.
Torture and rape are good examples. If the torture is "good" enough, I'd sign any document only to stop it for a while, if it means someone will get hurt more than I do, or even if I'm signing for, let's say, 200 years of soul suffering, maybe even an eternity. The pain in the present moment is so intense it leaves no room for disobedience or compromise.
The Rape scenario is the opposite example here, a pleasure so intense it demands fulfillment right now whatever it takes, consent becomes irrelevant, the possible negative consequences for both parties become irrelevant.

So what we end up with are people who bound to satisfy personal desires at the expense of others. A tragedy, really. But I find it funny, so I'd rather call it tragicomedy.

Those are better examples than I could come up with. Just nitpicking but to my understanding, most rape is primarily a manner of exerting control and power over someone else and not generally about wanting pleasure. This is what I have heard but I'm not sure if there have been studies or anything on this. However, situations like being at a party where everyone is inebriated, and the girl blacks out or something... that's likely more from desire than power.

It's also hard for me to cope with the fact that being a living organism, in nearly any capacity means you are living at the expense of others in some way. Even if you have good self-control, there is still probably something you do that hurts other beings. Microbes probably aren't conscious, but you're killing many all throughout your day. Is that wrong or bad? I don't know. But it makes me sad that living means destroying or harming other life.

 

[262653]

Those are better examples than I could come up with. The only thing I really have to add is that, to my understanding, most rape is primarily a manner of exerting control and power over someone else and not generally about wanting pleasure. This is what I have heard but I'm not sure if there have been studies or anything on this. However, situations like being at a party where everyone is inebriated, and the girl blacks out or something... that's likely out of desire instead.

This was approximately what I meant by rape. Noun, 1, 1. Minus age requirement maybe.
I guess other definitions extend the meaning beyond sexual context. And maybe that's what you meant by rape. You can correct me if you meant something different.

 

[Lupgevif]

A-fuckin'-men.

Even when people have good circumstances and can provide their children with money, food, medical treatment, and so on, it's still not ethical. It's so far beyond me why people who live, say, on the plains of Africa dealing with extreme poverty and parasites that have to be removed through the skin choose to procreate. Maybe it's because children would give them comfort or because they aren't educated enough to know how children pop out nine months after conception? I just don't get it. It's frustrating that we all have to deal with the consequences no matter how we turn out.

I will play devil's advocate though. Perhaps we are attributing to parents some degree of free will that they don't really have? There are certainly urges that I have that I just can't will out of existence, for instance having a snack when unbelievably stressed. I can tell myself I can't let it happen but my brain just won't take no for an answer with some things. Maybe the urge to have children is so incredibly strong in people it's like trying to tell them not to have food or relieve themselves. Not that it makes it okay of course, but that could be the case. Even if you can suppress it for a time, maybe it's something that always comes back for them.

Sex is a strong urge and poor people don't have contraceptives. It is not a desire to have children, it's a desire to have sex. Children are the unwanted consequence. Lack of sex education also makes it worse.

 

[Tonight634]

Your complaint about your parents is that they gave you life without asking you first if you want it.

Do me a favour.
Reread that, slowly.
Twice.

Omg of course I know there's no way a parent can ask their child if it wants to be born

 

[BipolarGuy]

Omg of course I know there's no way a parent can ask their child if it wants to be born

Can't they?
But what about Mystic Meg?

 

[LoveMePlease]

My parents only had me cuz my sister wanted a sibling

 

[TheQ22]

My parents only had me cuz my sister wanted a sibling

My best friend was an accident and he knew it. When we were about 15 his brother was almost 40.

 

[LoveMePlease]

My best friend was an accident and he knew it. When we were about 15 his brother was almost 40.

I was an accident aswell atleast I'm pretty sure

 

[esse_est_percipi]

Humans need to get it through their heads that procreation is an evil act based solely on egotistical and self-interested motives.

It's impossible to create a human by getting their consent beforehand, so it ultimately comes down to forcing a contingent being into the world through a deliberate action and choice, which at the same time generates a whole new range of possible suffering.
Without procreation, there is nothing at stake, but procreation carries the risk of producing a living hell for someone.

And even if not always a living hell, life itself is a continual struggle against entropy and the constant desire to do x which is either momentarily fulfilled in the case of basic desires like eating or sleeping, or possibly unfulfilled in the case of the more existential and emotional desires, the latter coming with a gamut of possible psychological consequences in its wake.

It is equally impossible to create a person 'for their own good', so therefore the new person can only be created as a means to an end (i.e. because it makes the parents feel good, or so they can satisfy their desire to be parents, increase their social standing, get benefits, etc).

Therefore under any sensible system of morality or rationality and all things being equal, procreation should never be an option taken.
But this is unrealistic given how egotistical, narcissistic, deluded and irrational the average human is.

 

[Lupgevif]

Humans need to get it through their dense heads that procreation is an evil act based solely on egotistical and self-interested motives.

I agree with the entire rest of your post, but this quote in question is wrong. It implies procreation is always a choice, which is not true since humans are still animals with urges, and even though there are means to prevent pregnancy, they are not equally accessible to all humans, specially to the poorer and less educated. To expect people who barely know how babies are made to stop having sex is simply unrealistic. They are not evil, they are not choosing to have babies, they are just doing what nature orders them to. Now, I think it is fair to expect people with more access to contraceptives and greater awareness of how their bodies work to avoid pregnancy at all costs, but still, no method is a 100% efficient.

 

[esse_est_percipi]

I agree with the entire rest of your post, but this quote in question is wrong. It implies procreation is always a choice, which is not true since humans are still animals with urges, and even though there are means to prevent pregnancy, they are not equally accessible to all humans, specially to the poorer and less educated. To expect people who barely know how babies are made to stop having sex is simply unrealistic. They are not evil, they are not choosing to have babies, they are just doing what nature orders them to. Now, I think it is fair to expect people with more access to contraceptives and greater awareness of how their bodies work to avoid pregnancy at all costs, but still, no method is a 100% efficient.

Ok yes, I accept your point.

 

[greebo6]

They gave me life without asking me whether I even wanna be here just because of their selfish need to reproduce and feel complete and bla bla bla, and now here I am, I got the WORST genes from both of them, I'm not pretty enough, I'm not smart enough, I'm too emotional, too much of a burden, like it's your fucking genetics!!?! They can't wsit for me to grow up and get rid of me because I'm dumb and can't do anything well and won't be succesful, but I didn't fucking ask you zo have unprotected sex you ******* !!!
And the worst thing is, now I have to die by painfully hanging myself or suffocating myself to death....Nothing I do will ever be good enough for anyone and I just genuinely wanna die. I don't want life to be better, I wanna die. I want to hurt them just as much as they hurt me by bringing me here and then telling me that I'm not enough. I fucking hate you, from the bottom of my heart.

A part of me will always deeply resent , almost hate , my parents for creating this ugly messed up being that I am. I think this is reasonable.

 

[LastFlowers]

I agree with the entire rest of your post, but this quote in question is wrong. It implies procreation is always a choice, which is not true since humans are still animals with urges, and even though there are means to prevent pregnancy, they are not equally accessible to all humans, specially to the poorer and less educated. To expect people who barely know how babies are made to stop having sex is simply unrealistic. They are not evil, they are not choosing to have babies, they are just doing what nature orders them to. Now, I think it is fair to expect people with more access to contraceptives and greater awareness of how their bodies work to avoid pregnancy at all costs, but still, no method is a 100% efficient.

In regards to "urges", the sex that leads to procreation is always a choice unless someone was raped or could not consent.
A possibly misinformed, impulsive choice for some people? Sure.
It's still an action that we ultimately have control over. Whether we think we should have to exert that control is another matter entirely. (I don't think people are including the small subset of humans who do not realize that sex leads to babies when saying procreation is evil. I believe they are referring to those who know the possible outcome. Whether they use contraceptives or not). People like to compare it to things as vital as food and water but it's not. Not only is masturbation a thing, but you won't physically die simply from a lack of fucking or children.

I'm not saying people aren't affected by the lack of it, as I have seen many here site that as a major reason for their woes. But it is unlike even some other needs and desires that cause more of a death in mental constitution versus physical, in that it requires the intimate use of another person's body. Which is asking for a lot. And of course, it risks the creation of a living being who may suffer-which is something that no other satiated desire or urge has the ability of risking.
There are plenty of natural urges that we have had to overcome over the centuries in order to progress as a civilization. Murder could be considered a natural urge. Balancing the playing field could also be one, which I was vilified for mentioning earlier. As well as many other things that would be considered heinous crimes these days. We can't always look back to nature to vindicate our actions.
Otherwise there was no point in our species progressing to be seen apart from any other animal. Might as well roll back the clock with everything else too if we keep regressing on account of something, namely a controllable action, being "natural".

This is all for arguments sake mind you, as I think I made it pretty clear before that I wouldn't be opposed to the whole world burning to the ground. And I know you weren't the only person who mentioned "urges" so apologies for stepping off from your quote alone.

 

[Tonight634]

A part of me will always deeply resent , almost hate , my parents for creating this ugly messed up being that I am. I think this is reasonable.

They feel accomplished about having a child, as if they did their part in making the world better, but it's us who has to suffer with all that we were given

 

[NeverGrowUp]

The worst thing ever is trying to bring up your parents role in generating mental anguish, mine completely deny it and want to take no responsibility for it. Since leaving college I've become nocturnal just trying to not hear them or be around them now that I'm back home. I've since learned that being enraged at them doesn't change anything so I just sit and seethe in hatred at their incompetence for putting me in this situation.

 

[apathetic.]

Fuck forget about genes my parents intentionally and deliberately destroyed me step by step with no remorse. I had / have the most toxic family I have ever seen in my lifetime

Same. Just thinking about how much potential I had. If it weren't for them I would be a very normal kid :(

 

[Tonight634]

Same. Just thinking about how much potential I had. If it weren't for them I would be a very normal kid :(

I really believe some people have children only to torture them