I HATE MY FRIENDS!!

[hello707]

I HATE THEM I HATE THEM!!! PLEASE DIE ALREADY!!!

 

[Corovaner]

Why? What did they do to you?

 

[plskilme]

Why?

 

[A Sit of Doubting]

do you want to talk about it? having friends who treat you horribly whilst already being in a horrible spot is tough. i share your sadness, and i would love to hear you out on this.

 

[hello707]

do you want to talk about it? having friends who treat you horribly whilst already being in a horrible spot is tough. i share your sadness, and i would love to hear you out on this.

i dont even know where to start it just makes me so angry. It's like they're always looking down on me because I'm never the first person they want to talk to and they definitely talk about me behind my back. I feel like I have to beg for interaction from most of them, and the only one that reciprocates to me is better friends with someone else in the friend group that i absolutely hate so if i say anything they'll definitely be against me. I feel like everyone in that group coddles the person I hate because they have ADHD and they're funny but they've literally 1. refused to spell my name correctly 2. bullied me through high school because they thought my dual enrollment was "taking it easy" if I get to skip HS classes for college ones 3. always leaves me on read but expects me to respond to everything they send 4. has never apologized to me for anything ever and so much more but its making me too upset. When I try to retaliate everyone else sides with them. What pisses me off even more is that they live a better college life than me because they actually have made friends to go outside with.

Whenever I hear about their problems i feel like they're so small compared to mine and they don't try to think about my situation at all. I feel like I can't trust anyone and they wouldn't care if I was gone. Even yesterday when we were playing games they just left me behind. But if I don't talk to them I have no one else to talk to.
I've been stuck in this cycle for so many years I hate them so much but I cant get rid of them because I'll really be alone and no one wants to talk to me and talking to new people is so hard and my personality is trash but I also think everyone else's personality is trash so I don't want to talk to them.

Reading this makes me sound like a loser middle schooler that's awful i really want to cut them off but i won't have people to talk with in real life. I should just die already its not like this isn't just another one of my problems i have and a reason to CTB.